When The Narcissist Can No Longer Control You

When The Narcissist Can No Longer Control You: 12 Things That Happen

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What should you expect when the narcissist can no longer control you?  Will they finally see the light of day and do the just and rightful thing?  Will they make fair arrangements regarding splitting up your assets?  What is the narcissist thinking and how will they react?

In this post, you’ll learn how to navigate the narcissist losing control over you like a kung fu master. Specifically:

  • What’s going on in the narcissist’s mind when this happens;
  • The twelve most common reactions the narcissist will engage in;
  • Examples of real-life scenarios where narcissists gained the upper hand (and how to avoid this);
  • Tips for when you share custody with the narcissist.

What can you expect?  Let’s unpack this question.

Video Transcript

I want to talk to you today about what to expect when you’re no longer under the control of the narcissist. Before I begin, if you’re new to my YouTube channel, please like and subscribe and hit the notification bell so you’ll be the first to find out whenever I upload a video.

1 – Hoovering on Steroids

When the narcissist loses control over you, there’s usually a period of continued attempts to Hoover. They may call you from unknown numbers or start to email you through new email accounts. They might contact you on your social media through bogus accounts that they’ve set up. Perhaps they’ll contact your family.

These things might make it seem as though the narcissist really wants to get back together. You may form the impression that they’re feeling remorseful and perhaps are seeing what a chance for true love (or a true relationship) they’re throwing away.  You are swept up in a whirlwind of attention as the narcissist tries to convince you that you have the most magical relationship ever.

However, once they figure out that you’re not falling for their tricks anymore, things are going to get pretty nasty.  It’s also worth noting that when the narcissist is hoovering you, they are hoovering other exes, too.

2 – Smear Campaign on Steroids

It’s important to recognize that the smear campaign against you has been going on for a while. In the narcissist’s mind, relationships do not last. As far as the narcissist is concerned, they’re not even in a real relationship; at least not the way you perceive it. When narcissists are in relationships, their focus is on how well they’re able to control you, control your actions, and control your mindset.

They will also be focused on managing the impression that other people have about you, as well.  For this reason, they will attempt to make everyone you know see you in the worst light possible. Through social media, text messages, and e-mails, they will tell everyone you know how evil, manipulative, and abusive you are.

3 – Sabotage on Steroids

When you decide to end the relationship with a narcissist, this is one of the ultimate forms of narcissistic injury, and they’re going to try to make you pay for it. They might contact your employer, the people in your church, and they may saturate your circle of friends so they can cut you off at the pass. 

Now that they can’t control you, their main focus is changing how other people perceive you, and this can include your own children.  They will do everything in their power to take you down and destroy your life. 

4 – Parental Alienation on Steroids

If you share children with a narcissist and are noticing that your children are taking the narcissist’s side, or maybe that they’re not as close to you as they were before, understand that children also experience the same things we do when they grow up in a toxic home.

They experience the trauma bonding, the hoovering, and the love bombing. All while the narcissist continues to tell people lies about you. And this is a very painful period to experience. Once you are in a relationship with a narcissist, their expectations for the relationship are completely different from yours…and parenthood is no exception.

If you do share children with a narcissist, contact an attorney if possible; and do your very best to get them into therapy. If the narcissist won’t agree to that, try to get them into therapy in their school. Talk to the counselors there. This is a very critical time because the narcissist is going to do everything in their power to turn your children against you.

Narcissists will expend large amounts of time, energy, and money to buy your children’s affection and convince them of what an awesome parent they are.  They’re good, you’re bad.  They will feed your children lies about things you supposedly did and said about them when they were innocent little things who had no clue about “what a terrible person you are.” 

Of course, all of this is hogwash, but whether or not your children believe it falls to the luck of the draw.

5 – Triangulation 

Narcissists don’t enter relationships to offer reciprocal affection or support. What they expect is for you to live a life of servitude under them. This is one of the primary signs that you are dealing with a narcissist. 

In normal relationships, when people decide to break up and go their separate ways, there is generally a mutual understanding that the two of you are going to move on and walk a different path from one another, but that’s generally not how narcissists see it.

This explains why they often circle back to their old supply sources. If the narcissist Hoovers you, pretends to be remorseful, indicates that they are regretting their decision, or maybe confides in you that they are in a new relationship and now they’re starting to have doubts, remember…they’re also doing this with other exes.

As far as narcissists are concerned, no one person is more special than the other and they don’t miss one person more than the other. When things start falling apart in their newest relationship, that’s when they begin to circle back. Once the new supply begins to see red flags, the narcissist has to go to the next trick in their toolbox. This is when they start triangulating you.

This generally occurs in romantic relationships, but it can also happen in other relationships, such as a coworker situation or within a family unit.

6 – Deep Cruelty

Many people believe that narcissists are cruel to others because cause they’re trying to avoid the deep internal shame that seems to plague them 24 hours a day.  However, narcissists are really more concerned with losing their power and control over you. They’re going to become very vindictive, coercive, and they’re going to bully you.

They take serious offense when they realize that you’re not going to be their servant anymore because, in their mind, they have spent a large amount of time trying to brainwash you and program you into their way of thinking. This can be seen in how you feel about yourself towards the end of the relationship, and also after the relationship ends.  You’re going to feel like everything’s your fault, that you didn’t try hard enough, and possibly begin to believe that the narcissist was right all along.

Your cognitive mind might realize that you did everything you possibly could to save the relationship, but the narcissist’s voice will be in your head. This doesn’t happen in normal relationship breakups.  There’s going to be grieving, of course. There’s going to be the hesitancy to start a new life and start fresh. But in a normal relationship breakup, there won’t be a smear campaign. The people breaking up will at least try to be civil towards one another and perhaps split assets fairly.

This is not the narcissist’s way. And this is exactly how you know you’re dealing with a narcissist because they will become extremely hateful, nasty, and even do things that seem evil.

It’s important to not convince yourself that the narcissist doesn’t know what they’re doing or that they’re completely unaware of how they’re hurting you. Narcissists are very intentional and strategic in how they interact with you.

If narcissists had no awareness of how awful they are, if they had no awareness about their condition, or had no awareness about how all of this makes you feel, they would act the same way in all relationships, situations, and environments.  But narcissists choose to abuse the people they feel are safe to abuse, and they come to this conclusion once we have gotten past the love-bombing period, and we’re hooked.

7 – Oscar-Worthy Apology

It’s quite possible that the narcissist will offer you an apology. They might even cry a little bit, but narcissists are very good actors. And this can be seen in the way that they interact with the outside world. 

Let’s say the two of you go to a party.  The narcissist is the life of the party. Everyone’s laughing at their jokes. And it feels like no one can seem to see the narcissist for who they are, because you know what they’re like when the two of you are alone and it’s nothing like the persona that they put on in the public eye.

This alone should tell you that the narcissist is very aware of what they’re doing. when they offer you an apology, you will soon realize that it’s not genuine. Narcissists are never remorseful for how they treat you. They might be sorry for the consequences they know they’ll have to face.

For example, if you share children with them, they’re going to start thinking about how they might have to pay child support, pay alimony, or split assets. Since they generally don’t want to pay child support or alimony or split assets, they often will attempt to come back. It’s crucial that you do not fall for their tricks and schemes. For example, one of my coaching clients said that she was divorcing her narcissistic husband, and they shared children together. He came over one night, right before the hearing, and convinced her that he didn’t want to break up the family. He’d been thinking and wanted to work on their marriage. He further explained that he didn’t want to split the family up and cause the children to be in different homes.

My client was fully under the impression that they had agreed to go in civilly to the hearing and do what was best for the kids. What happened was she was sucker-punched completely and unexpectedly because the narcissist went to the hearing and bulldozed everything. And she was in such shock that he got custody of their kids.  Sadly, this is a very common scenario

These examples are why it’s super-important to not fall for the narcissist tricks when they think they’re losing control over you.  Because things will get very nasty, and they will stay nasty for a long time. It’s during these times when the narcissist is beginning to realize that they can’t control you, that you must remain steadfast. Don’t fall for their tricks, the fantasy, or the gaslighting.

8 – Damage Your Property

When the narcissist can no longer control you, they may damage your property or try to break into your home. If they’re successful, they may steal important and sentimental items that may not even have any monetary value, but that are very dear to you.

This is why you should never let the narcissist in your home if you have split up from them and moved into a new residence.  You are not obligated to let the narcissist into your new place.

9 – Plant Spyware on Your Devices

Another reason I advise against letting the narcissist into your new home is that they often plant spyware on your devices and electronics.  At least fifty percent of my coaching clients have dealt with this.  Don’t let the narcissist put you in that kind of position.

At this point, once the narcissist can no longer control you, you must make it a priority to protect yourself. You need to seal them out of your life, whatever that may look like.  You may have to get a protective order or a restraining order. You will probably need to put cameras around your residence. I would suggest ADT or anything that will alert you if someone’s trying to break into your home.

If it comes down to it and you need to call the authorities, go ahead and do that, even though it may make you feel sick to do so.

10 – Excessive Use of Fear

If the narcissist begins to believe they can no longer control you,  they will use fear to control you. You will witness their wrath in a way you’ve never experienced before.  And a lot of times it works, especially in court settings, but don’t give up. 

You have to stand strong, protect yourself, and do whatever you need to do to avoid letting the narcissist control you.

11 – Intensify the Trauma Bond

If all else fails, the narcissist will attempt to strengthen the trauma bond that you have with them. In this vein, narcissists do not experience trauma bonds. Only we do as their victim or their target.

Given that narcissists do not emotionally attach to anyone (not even their own children), they do not experience any kind of attachment trauma once their relationships end.  This is also what allows them to Monkey Branch while they are in committed relationships.  They want to secure other supply sources because they know that their relationships are doomed to failure.

12 – Make You Feel Helpless or Dependent Upon Them

Once the narcissist realizes they are losing control over you, they may try to make you believe you can’t make it without them or that you’ll lose the kids (if applicable). And it’s possible that these things could be true. If they try this approach, it’s important to try to chart a path for yourself out of that relationship. Even if it takes a while; even if you can’t leave immediately, start working on your exit plan.

Those are some of the most common things that happen when narcissists feel they’re losing control over you. Although their cunning and manipulative nature makes them often difficult to escape, you can still take the upper hand and turn the tables on them. Although you will need a thick skin for this, they become even more abusive when they feel their power is slipping away.

A narcissist doesn’t change their behavior for the long haul.  Instead, they bounce from one career to the next, one relationship to the next, and a drama to the next.  Understanding these tactics beforehand can give you an advantage in the future.

How To Protect Yourself Against the Narcissist and Stand Strong

Do you ever feel like you’re about to snap?

Are you guilty of sucking it up and saying, “I just need to work harder?”

This place is familiar to me. I get it. You don’t want to start a process that could take a long time. You’re also not sure if you can trust yourself to not give into hoovering attempts by the toxic person in your life.

I also understand that you’re probably ready to try anything.

A fresh perspective. A different pathway. A new YOU.  Sign up to our newsletter below and you’ll be on your way!


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32 comments
Rosalind Berenguer says November 5, 2024

I’ve been in this relationship going on 10 years and about 3years ago I accidentally stumbled upon informative information about narcissism. Which absolutely blew my mind because it described my husband to a T. Although it was nice to finally find information on his reason for being who he was the reading’s never supplied or offered a solution on how to build yourself up to be who you were and are meant to be. Slowly I started taking control of what im going to allow him to say or do and it’s been somewhat challenging but I’m learning to use reverse psychology on him. I’ve sent him information on narcissistic behaviors and I tell him it describes him to a T and he tried to say I’m the narcissist & control freak. I thank god we don’t have children together but he has tried relentlessly to alienate me from my children, family and friends but I had already informed them of his behavior well in advance so he wasn’t successful. He was and probably still is dragging me through the mud with his family but I’m ok with that because their his family & I expect them to believe him & all the lies that come out his mouth. Thank you for all the information you’ve shared with us and I’m going to put them in practice and add it to what I’ve already been doing.

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Suzanne prater says September 26, 2024

I’ve paid I massive price leaving my ex husband it wasn’t till almost the end of our relationship that I realised who/what I was dealing with he had me believing everything was my fault including his affair when I found out😝
When I decided he was starting to not just abuse me emotionally and financially but things were getting physical (he rammed my car) I decided I had to leave him
Well my hell began he went for my heart alienating my children particularly my 12 half year old daughter who moved out with him to a house his sister brought him he then did a pretty good job of destroying a once loving relationship with my daughter she came out with bizarre things like she was scared to visit me because I’d abused her??? When I asked how I’d done this she said I’d made her do ballet and made her eat her vegetables she acted like this was abuse she refused to call me mum or have contact with me for longer than half an hour this continued for 3 half years
I read as much as I could on narcissism and parental alienation while also not giving up on my children showing anyway I could unconditional love I carried on having small visits time with my daughter and my two sons who were older even half an hour was something I never gave up on hoping things would change which eventually slowly but surely she was happy to spend an hour with me until 4 half years after she moved out at 16 half she phoned me one evening and asked if she could move back of course I said my door has always been open to you no questions with unconditional love she has been back living with me this last year I wouldn’t say it’s been easy and my ex still try’s to influence her and bribe her but she lives with me full time seeing him occasionally which I’m happy with she needs both parents in her life for her
He doesn’t pay child support despite taking money from a business we owned together saying it was child support way above the entitlement ird would have allowed and with no agreement from me
But finally my heart feels whole again I get to see my
Daughter and make sure she feels loved respected and looked after my sons have seen through the deception and lies she hasn’t yet mainly because she is still influenced by my ex
How did I cope carry on stay sane???? With difficulty I have the most amazing friends who have been soooooo very kind loving and supportive of me I tried to find a purpose something to build for myself I returned to my previous career I had before meeting my ex I studied studied and as the saying goes one step at a time even small steps in right direction is something I now have a career wonderful friends loving relationships with my two sons and a relationship with my daughter that is still healing a good roof over my head gratitude and love for myself and how I have grown yet not let my heart be stunted negative hateful or negative instead I’m open loving kind more empathetic stronger resilient can hold my head very high I’m still having counselling but it is helping a lot now so my message and reason for posting this is for anyone else who is going through parental or grandparent alienation hold strong seek help keep hope small steps don’t what ever you do stop contact even a small tread to them is worth something and I wish you the very best with love and hugs ♥️

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Olivia King says June 19, 2024

I married a narcisist in 1978. In 1988 I left him but he followed me. That was the worst 3years of my life. It took three years to get away from him. He did every thing you said in your write up. He spied on me at night looking thru windows. He followed me in his car driving right on my tail end. He broke into my house and stole papers I had received from a pediatrician about my baby’s open heart surgery. He stole many things from me. And continued to abuse me for years after the divorce. I was literally scared to death of him. He vowed he would tell all three children all the horrible things I had done and they would love him more and hate me as much bc as he did. That was 38 years ago. I have never married again. I never will. Loneliness is easier that being married. He was great for the first five years, then we got married and every thing went crazy. Never again!

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Chris says May 27, 2024

I’ve experienced to the letter 12 things narcissist do. And had a biased judge. Lost all parental rights and visitation. But what can I do legally. The kids need to know the truth.

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Carol Roberts says May 16, 2024

Very informative…I love someone who is still carrying baggage from just such a prior relationship

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Patsy Walker says April 29, 2024

Thank you for confirmation what I have been thinking for 30 some years. My diagnosis right on point. WOW

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Sandy says October 18, 2023

Thankyou for all the knowledge which is being shared. We all have first-hand knowledge of everything which has been spoken about and it is very comforting to me that I was not imagining all the things that happened to me.

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Debra Lowen says August 22, 2023

Hi Kim.iam finally free.after I left the narcissist I was trauma bonded to for years another one swooped in and tried the same thing.i am so thankful for the years of inspiration and truths you sent me to strengthen myself enough to let him go I found the strength to end the next bad relationship within 9 months.i see now how quickly another one could weasle his way into my life.i was spinning from the first one and realized the same thing was happening.i wasn’t well enough yet to have changed my thoughts and my defense mechanisms so I took it all into the next relationship.kind of glad I did so I could realize it wasn’t much different.i owe the the biggest thank you for all you did to prepare me mentally and to see the truths.i have never felt so free and happy.i love my life.thank you from the bottom of my heart. Yoy are an amazing lady.❣️

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Barbara Olin says August 22, 2023

Amazing how you exactly pinpointed what they do. I’ve been with a male N, for 25yrs. I’m in emotional pain and want to get out. I have discovered some behaviors as you described. What comes immediately comes to mind, before I read some of your article. Bully and power hungry. He doesn’t like himself. I think he derives power from hurting me. What an awful realization! He treated his EX the same way as he treats me now. He is also alienated from his children. I’m very much a SENIOR, have the fear of starting anew and his CRUEL BACKLASH AND PUNISHMENT. Your are soooo on the mark with EVERYTHING. I majored in Psychology and German quite a while ago. I read things and ran across the description of BORDER LINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. I see similarities to Borderline Personality Disorder. Wish I could find a niche in the psyche arena.

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Colleen says March 27, 2023

Wow. I am sure I have read this article before, but it is “funny” how different things can mean different things and hit differently at different parts of our journey. 5 years (plus) post separation and the abuse continues. This article is almost like his script. It’s absolutely horrendous how they can fool judges and lawyers and even the psychologists hired to help your children and the kids remain stuck with their abusers while being used as weapons in the narcs sick games. This is a very troubling life to leave when you cannot truly get away.

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Ann Rogers says January 17, 2023

I understand I lived under this pressure for 43 years but finally was able to free myself from this devestating life….After divorcing I establish myself a peaceful life..
However my son has mega phycological problems …
He Is now taken up mental challenge of my faults. I have been very supportive of him till now
I have had enough and challenged him on his last ugliest self righteous views ..H has stopped calling or acknowledges my call..
He has his opinion of everyone but himself..
Today is his 66 birthday. ,….he is no youngster and has parenting problems with ex. And 2 sons. No friends. Just spent 3 months in a mental facility.
I’m not perusing any further contact with him…..

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Brenda Depriest says December 26, 2022

Wish I had read this 34 yrs ago. My ex still tries to control me and turned our son against me totally. But I’m stronger than he’ll ever be. Thank God I got this finally

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Barbara says December 10, 2022

I know my husband is narcissistic. However, reading these articles have given me the insight of the abuse I have taken from for almost 49 years. I somehow have to get rid of the hurt that He caused me.

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    Giuliana says March 26, 2023

    Well, unfortunately, if you are seeking to heal the hurt he has/is causing you while remaining married to him, that’s just not going to happen. That’s like expecting to heal a broken bone you got from sliding into home base without stopping playing baseball.

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Anonymous says November 14, 2022

2,3,4,5,6, & 8,10, 11, 12 – rings a bell for me. I’ve been tempted to take the break-free course; but those photos of discs & books at the end, do you have to have those sent to your home? I wouldn’t want that. Also, with holidays coming up, time gets scarce & I’m spending too much time deleting unwanted emails that get so annoying. So still procrastinating!

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Virginia Borgogno says November 12, 2022

I understand no contact’ but he works where I live’ so not possible. I do good and then I don’t. Getting better’ but the ups and downs are sometimes really rough.

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INGEBURG MACAULAY says October 25, 2022

i would like to find out if you counsel people who have been severely traumatized by a former friend who is mentally ill and also a malignant narcissist . this person tried to destroy my marriage and life .

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Katie Norton-Mcmurray says October 10, 2022

I wish I could believe this were possible. It’s been a year and half and she still has control over me. The things she did were meant to destory the deepest most delicate part of me, things I only ever confided to her. It’s part of why we bonded, promised to always protect each other and heal those broken hearts. Well she got stronger, thanked me so often in everyway for coming into her life and giving her strength and joy… After the ghosting, silent treatment, I found out she’d been calling me her abuser to a few friends all long.. for years! There’s so much more they live double lives and you never suspect, who would?! No one imagines someone lying about who they are from the start only to be used as someone’s dumping ground for issues they can’t face, they turn anyone who gets too close and see’s too much into their next victim story… I wish I could just erase it all, every memory I thought I’d cherish forever, knowing I was just temporary when I believed all the cards, letters, gifts, promises, and used not for money or anything material, she tried to steal my strength and transfer her shame and pain into me.. I think it worked.. I feel so broken and hopeless when I think of her and the pain feels just as sharp as day 1 sigh..

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Notanarc says September 25, 2022

It’s crazy how many years I’ve been dealing with and reading about the covert narcissist and how one minute I’m so heartbroken knowing how hard I’ve worked to save a marriage that was never real and a family that was a fantasy and a “front” for him and his precious image and pride, and the next minute I STILL find myself questioning whether I am as toxic, selfish, uncaring and unforgiving as he says and whether I’M the narcissist! I feel so messed up even after years of therapy because I still haven’t managed to get out of this non-marriage or this house because of how screwed up I feel and how it’s all affected my physical and mental health. My son is drifting from me and has been so manipulated by him and I have no clue how to make my son understand what’s really happened and why I need to divorce his father without telling him the truth of what a horrible person his father is. On attorney number two and I’m still no closer to escaping this nightmare and still questioning whether I’m the narcissist!!???

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Maya says July 30, 2022

I have been writing a doctoral thesis for the past 10 years under the guidance of a narcissistic professor who does anything in his power to make sure my voice will not be heard and that I drop out (hence the 10 years!). I did realize pretty early on that I am in an abusive relationship. For a long time, I couldn’t figure out what it was that I was doing to make him abusive… Only two years ago I came across the word Gaslighting in a newspaper and fell into the Rabbit hole of what is truly going on. It has been horrible 10 years but I am brilliant at what I do and I deserve the title. I am afraid that it would never stop. He is super political and manipulative.

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Carolyn Richardson says July 26, 2022

I’d love to hear about dealing with passive-aggressive narcissists. My husband has been diagnosed as an narc by his psychiatrist. He has uncovered trauma & he is passive -aggressive. It’s very difficult to deal with. Stonewalling, fail to disclose, lies, projecting, “it’s all your fault”, pity me & I have to do everything & am criticised when I do. His ego-defence play is huge & retreats to his “comfort” at the least of anything which has been internalised as a threat.. not just me. Anything. He ruminates on everything. Lost lots of jobs. Not a team member & unlikeable. Hard to live with!

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Karen says July 11, 2022

Two years on I sleep better I gave the narc a chance it is them that keep playing a childish game. I have stopped feeling down looking forward to life and can see clearly. Narcs do not want this sad in a way they can’t move on even though they play a part look at me |I am sexy I am great . Yes they see themselves as gods gift but are as the very word states narcs. We are all happy that we do not see a certain non forgiving person all of us who had enough. Life starts feeling happy and you see clearly. Love to you all I truly hope that life eventually moves on for you all and you see and think clear and happy.x

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Carla Corelli says May 28, 2022

I always compare the narcissist to a director of a play, or a puppeteer – trying to manipulate everyone and anyone who comes into their orbit. So you mention of an Oscar-worthy performance really resonated with me. They are always playing to an audience and it is impossible to ever know what they are truly feeling or thinking 🙁

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Tracey Alex says May 12, 2022

I’ve just reread what I said earlier, and realised that he is still contacting us as and when he feels like it, and that even if I have to allow some contact because of the children I need to do something to stop that. Otherwise he will just keep messing with our heads. Wish me luck!

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    Stephanie says June 3, 2022

    You don’t need luck! You know what to do. You got this Tracey!

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Tracey Alex says May 12, 2022

I’m currently still in the early weeks of divorce proceedings against my covert narcissist husband, and he is leaning heavily on the scriptures to try to stop me. He says that “God hates divorce”, and therefore he considers that he has the impregnable moral high ground. He has been showing much more affection and concern to us, but there is still no real change. He phoned us a few days ago and spoke to one of our children but hung up before speaking to the other, not even asking how they were. (The one he spoke to is the one who misses him the most) He sent me a card which arrived today in which he urges me to “remember the covenant I made with him.” This is so very hard, but by the grace of God and the wisdom and support of those who understand, I have to believe we can still get through it.

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    Stephanie says June 3, 2022

    I’m sorry that you are dealing with trauma and use by a covert narcissist. You and your babies deserve so much better. I am 5 months no contact, he isn’t responding to the divorce petition, but I am free whether he shows up or not. Covert narcissists are a sick and evil, nowhere near normal, type of human. Using another human being, marriage, fear, and shame to try to steal your life. No!!! You are not trapped sister, and the Bible tells you why. God knows the truth, and the Holy Spirit will help you see the clearly to make choices He has prepared already for you. He knows you and sees your broken heart. It’s SO hard. You CAN do this sweet lady. You are SO loved and never alone.

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    genrik says October 11, 2022

    Satan can quote Scripture, and does far more that the Church’s misinformed pew warmers. Never means he is Holy. God never intended you to “be in an unholy covenant.” Many in church are wolves in sheep’s clothing – just like a NPD. A narcissist – and all the personality disorders – is a demon-infestation the fragmented human you thought was real/actually existed partnered with, often early in life, to prop up a severely damaged ego, a lust for pride/power, etc. As one anointed to share “a word of knowledge” by the Creator’s appointment, I remember Jesus showing up one day when I was washing dishes and saying to me, “Don’t fall for it! That’s the same sh*t he tried to pull on Me. It hasn’t changed.” As I examined this fresh revelation (and I get them All the time), I saw how true His Advice was – looking back, it’s the same bs! When things try to come up or come on, I hear His Words in my head, “It’s the same bs! Never buy into it.” Ask God to “destroy every unholy covenant in your life, in Jesus name.” Ask frequently and meaningfully. Expect changes; some you may not expect may occur. When asking God, we do not control His Ways. That man’s soul is his own to gamble with; yours is not (his). Most will never understand Scripture’s Higher Teachings. Thank God daily for destroying all these ungodly covenants from your life and replacing them with what is genuinely Holy.

    Sometimes (but by no means all) when you have a Divine gift/anointing on you/your life, demonic attacks may come to try to keep you from being you and imparting that gift here. All NPDs and (secular interpretation) mental issues are strictly demonic attacks and efforts. Read and study Jesus’ journey to Gadara; He healed him of *demons* and nobody ever of mental issues. The world lies; nobody wants to face the Truth. Face it and you can punt the bs Upstairs. This isn’t our war to fight alone; 2 Kings 6:17.

    Repeat to yourself the prayer for Upstairs when dealing with an NPD:
    “All the evil that you do, the Lord returns right back to you and He will continue to, in Jesus name.” Repeat as often as you need and then let it go and “after having done all, Stand.” Ephesians 6.

    A military deployment was a failure. Always the troops were destroyed in that area. The next C.O. prayed Psalm 91 with his troops every morning. They never lost a man.

    When satan quoted Scripture to Jesus, Jesus threw it right back in his face: “Thou shalt not tempt the Lord!” Anyone engaging in what is unGodly against you – ANYONE – is tempting (pushing and taunting) the Almighty. When Jesus left 2,000 yrs ago, He went Everywhere…with a notepad! Ask God to lead and guide you, to help you to joyfully fulfill your unique destiny and to be within His Blessed Covenant always.

    NEVER underestimate the Power of God – or even only-human ibterpretation of His Word. His Intentions have Always been Crystal Clear.

    Reply
    kim says November 12, 2022

    Tracey Alex, he is using religious beliefs, your vows, to keep you under his control and to not discard him. He is not honoring his vows to you. God knows the truth and marriage vows do not give anyone a right to emotionally, mentally, physically tear you down. Jeremiah 29:11 I read this, daily reminder to keep faith and stay strong. Prayers and support such as this, helps to stay the course and makes us stronger. Safety in numbers. Safe space with others that understand. Thank you for sharing and hope you are healing…Best wishes

    Reply
      Anonymous says January 25, 2023

      Just pray God takes him on out of this world.I had one for 35 years and he damaged our children badly.The day he died,I did cry.The reason?All I could think of was what a wasted life.

      Reply
Harri Muise says May 12, 2022

You forgot one important thing! Financial abuse and interfering with your ability to work. NOT being critical!! Just my experience! Thanks for all the info too!!!

Reply
    Kim Saeed says June 2, 2022

    Absolutely, Harri! I’ve written about these things many times in other articles. You are very welcome for the info 🙂

    Kim

    Reply
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