Types of Empaths

What Are The Two Types of Empaths? (One is immune to narcissists)

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Do you find yourself experiencing deep attunement to the people in your life? Have you been labeled as too sensitive? Do you take on overwhelming emotions and feel like you care too much about how others feel? 

Empathy allows us to interpret the emotions that other people experience. But empaths actually sense and feel the emotions themselves. In other words, someone else’s pain becomes your pain. Similarly, someone else’s joy, fear, or sadness becomes your joy, fear, or sadness.

There are pros and cons to the empath personality. That said, these two types of empaths are not necessarily fixed states. You can change how you relate to and understand other people. Let’s get into what you need to know.

How Do You Know If You’re An Empath?

All empaths tend to feel emotions very deeply and profoundly. Others may describe them as “extra sensitive” or even “needy.” That’s because empaths feel both their feelings and the feelings of others. 

Many empaths struggle with intimate relationships. They want to feel connected and supported by their partners. However, they often read into every little emotional cue. They doubt themselves and their partner. They constantly second-guess the security of the relationship. Similarly, they often experience sensory overload from all the thinking, talking, and interpreting the other person’s emotions.

Empaths also tend to have strong intuitions for people. They can sense if others are having a bad day before they say a word. They get gut feelings about someone’s personality based on a single interaction. 

Finally, empaths tend to be extremely patient and good at listening. Others often come to them to confide in their secrets. Empaths are usually compassionate and generous with their time and resources. While many people appreciate this kindness, some choose to take advantage of it. 

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What Causes Someone To Be An Empath?

There isn’t a single factor contributing to the empath personality. Instead, it appears that a combination of different variables contributes to this phenomenon.

Like with all personalities, individual temperament seems to play a role. We’re all born with different levels of sensitivities. You can observe these basic differences just by watching how babies interact with the world. While some babies are fairly mellow and calm, others are far more reactive to different lights or sounds. 

Genetics can also be a determining factor. Highly sensitive people often have mothers or fathers with the same traits. The modeling of this sensitivity may pass down from generation to generation.

Finally, trauma also plays a significant factor in one’s sensitivity. Almost all empaths have a history of emotional or physical abuse. Trauma impacts how safe people feel in their relationships. It also affects one’s self-esteem and mental well-being. 

Why Is The Empath-Narcissist Relationship So Common?

On the one hand, empaths are often loving, patient, and kind. On the other hand, they can have a seemingly insatiable need to rescue and love. That’s because empaths tend to feel validated when they connect with others.

Narcissists often seek out empaths because the empath tends to be cooperative, compassionate, and low-key. The level of cooperativeness is critical. Narcissists seek out this trait in their partners because they recognize they don’t possess it themselves. They know that overly cooperative partners will sacrifice their happiness and needs to maintain the relationship’s homeostasis.

Empaths find themselves attracted to narcissists because they initially present as strong, confident, and charming. They may shower you with compliments and affection. Moreover, they may be quick to profess their love and happiness in being with you. All of these actions are carefully crafted to lure you in. 

The narcissist may paint stories of trauma or low self-esteem. They often complain of feeling misunderstood. Empaths can usually empathize with the narcissist in ways nobody else can. They often play into the victim stories their narcissistic partners tell them. 

Similarly, empaths also tend to believe they can change the narcissist. They assume their love and kindness can negate the narcissist’s need for power and control. They also assume that the narcissist doesn’t mean to hurt them. 

Unfortunately, this line of thinking is incorrect. Narcissists value power and control above anything else in a relationship. They lack empathy and regard for others. As a result, they will continue testing their empathic partners to ensure their utmost compliance.

What Are Exhausted Empaths? 

At its core, exhausted empaths are tired of their own empathy! They give and they give, but they receive so little in return. They don’t set boundaries with others. If they do, they fail to implement them. 

Exhausted empaths often try to please everyone. These pleasing tendencies extend beyond the relationship with the narcissist. They often act submissively in all relationships, including ones with family members and coworkers.

The exhausted empath’s motives can feel both desperate and erratic. They’re good listeners, but it seems like nobody listens to them. They may want to fix other people, but they don’t recognize that some people can’t or don’t want to be fixed. 

It’s no surprise that exhausted empaths tend to have low self-esteem. As a result, they tend to stay in toxic relationships.  They might subscribe to the false belief that love conquers all. They might also hold onto the magical thinking that their partner will change if only they do X, Y, or Z. 

Exhausted empaths aren’t just exhausted. They’re often resentful, bored, or completely apathetic about their lives. They may struggle with profound depression or anxiety. 


What Are Empowered Empaths?

Empowered empaths recognize their people-pleasing tendencies, and they aim to do something about it. They aren’t victims of their circumstances. They choose to rise above their discouraged empath status.

Empowered empaths understand the need for setting and identifying healthy boundaries. They recognize their feelings matter. They don’t tolerate people who can’t respect their basic needs.

Empowered empaths protect their hearts and minds. They value their integrity, and they have learned to harness their sensitivity only for people who deserve it. They still listen and give love, but they don’t give it endlessly. They also make sure to practice self-care and self-love. 

For these reasons, empowered empaths tend to live serene, fulfilling lives. They recognize they can control their actions. They also identify the importance of surrounding themselves with healthy and positive people.

Finally, empowered empaths learn from their mistakes. They recognize that slip-ups can and do occur. Rather than backslide into old ways of thinking, they know how to move themselves back on track. 

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How Do You Move From Exhaustion To Empowerment?  

It is possible to transform from an exhausted empath to an empowered empath. This transformation requires both time and effort, and it may feel uncomfortable. 

First, it’s essential to recognize where you lie on the continuum. If you’re still in a narcissistic relationship, there’s a good chance you’re an exhausted empath. Chances are, you’ve sacrificed your needs, desires, and even your identity for the other person. 

Do you identify with feeling exhausted by yourself and others? Do you feel a sense of emptiness or numbness in your relationships? Do you experience tremendous regret over your past choices?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, you’re probably an exhausted empath! At first, this self-awareness is painful. After all, you want to be a kind and loving person. It’s challenging to know that people may be taking advantage of your personality.  It’s even harder to realize that you are responsible for your healing and recovery.

Of course, detecting narcissism isn’t always straightforward. Many empaths believe they have found their twin flame in the narcissist. You thought they were your soulmate, but you quickly discover they’re just extremely manipulative and toxic. Unfortunately, they know how to also trick you back into believing you really are soulmates! 

Empowerment comes from a place of acceptance and self-love. Eventually, you must accept the narcissist for who they are. Most likely, they’re not going to change. Likewise, they definitely won’t change just because that’s what you want.

Self-love means respecting yourself. It means knowing your worth and not settling for anything less. Self-love can take time to cultivate, but it’s worth dedicating as much time and energy as it takes. The more self-love you have, the fuller your life will feel.

Final Thoughts On Types of Empaths

While you can’t help your core personality, you can change your actions. You do have control over your happiness.

To truly break free from the narcissistic spell, a total no contact approach is necessary (or extreme modified contact if you share children with the narcissist). No-contact is the most effective way to ensure your recovery. It’s guaranteed to help you move forward in healing. 

Keep in mind that both types of empaths often feel tempted by other “less-intense” methods. You will want to give the narcissist a second chance. You will feel guilty and cruel for pulling away. To compound the stress, the narcissist will try to convince you to come back.

Whereas the exhausted empath often gives in to the narcissist’s hoovering, the empowered empath knows how to keep their healing information to themselves, and not heal everyone around them in a completely out-of-control fashion.  They’ve come to accept that they cannot heal or transform the narcissist and have chosen to preserve their gifts and energies for people who can benefit.

Freedom requires eliminating that toxicity from your life. You are compassionate, generous, and loving. You deserve to share these gifts with people who actually deserve them! 

If this article resonates with you and you know it’s time to stop the chaos, end the mental torture, and begin healing your life, then I’d love for you to join us in our Warrior Inner Circle by claiming your free Beginner’s Healing Roadmap.

You can sign up right here.

If you’re ready to go deeper and change your life right now, I offer a wide range of effective resources and techniques to protect against toxic people – in my bestselling program, The Essential Break Free Bootcamp.

I’m excited to share with you the psychological tools I and thousands of others have used to heal from narcissistic abuse.

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10 comments
Hauwa says August 20, 2020

Thank you Kim

Reply
    Kim Saeed says September 28, 2020

    You’re welcome 🙂

    Reply
Anonymous says July 19, 2020

Hi kim,
The narcissist for me is my own mother. Of all people! In my opinion this is the worst scenario. Im the type that likes to be in a sincere & committed relationships that works both ways and am not used to this one sided selfish behavior that more or less feels like i dont even exist anymore. She has stolen my identity by blaming me for the things that result from her actions. she manipulated my kids and they no longer will talk to me. she has her brothers believing im crazy and not to listen to me. everyone i counted on being on my side is now against me cuz she got them involved. now she has been diagnosed with cancer and there is no way im gonna get anyone to listen to my story now, there all too busy feeling sorry for her. im still getting wronged when she lies about how the facts and to watch her act so innocent now that shes gottem my kids to hate me and treat her like shes their mother giving happy mothers day cards paying her a visit not me. fighting her battles she starts with me. she is loving every minute of it then says she loves me and wont stop and tell my kids the truth so i can have them back in my life after shes gone (stage 4 lung cancer) shes just gonna leave my kids thinking ive been the bully. Im clinically depressed have high blood pressure, anxiety, neck and shoulder problems and havent been worry free or loved in years. I am affraid becuz she wormed her way right in my shoes and nobody tells her shes wrong in making them do this. they came back from their dads when each of them turned 21 only to be used to hurt me and get my kids against me bcuz i had started standing up for myself and telling her she was wrong about things and things werent always my fault like she had the habbit of saying all the time. i went through so many emotional stages and finally researched my unique situation and discovered i was not alone. It helps knowing im not alone and that there are others witnessing this behavior from the very people you have chosen to love or in my case who chose to love me but cant. For some biological reason or a specific even in their life they are much like robots as they have no feelings to express humanity and have to fake it. never have i seen a tear roll down my moms face. and there have been many hardships in my life to cry about. Ive cried them all without her shedding one tear for me. Ive never been in a relationship since my divorce and move here where my mother is. My career as a mother is only my memory without no one to share it with bcuz she has convinced my kids and they have convinced their dad that its best just not to talk to me at all. So i cant even get his help to pull me out of this strange unfair identity that shes tagged on me to my own family as well as hers. My dad has never been in my life and i havent any siblings so im litterally now without anybody to make me feel like i belong in this world. To all the people that exchanged love with me, it was a wonderful thing……..the expression of love. I will be longing for my children forever and cry when i think of what she made of me to the people i brought into this world for my life. My children too, were expected to be permanent and forever relationships just like my mother and i have been forced to accept, adjust and adapt to N.P.D. because there is nothing we can do about it. because they dont want to admit they have it. they dont want to seek diagnosis, they dont think anything is wrong with them. but like everybody else in the world when actions cause damage we make the person take responsibility for it and the way we do that is force treatment on them by proving their actions cause serious damage on their victim to an authoritive figure like a judge and let the courts order them to get screened for NPD and make them admit who they are and what they do to people. not doing that allows their actions to continue and why are they so special that they dont have to account for anything they are responsible for. wrong is wrong damage is damage loss is loss and loosing you mind, identity & what you spend your life working on matters more than them getting to get their way to not admit it and get treatment. My mother never complained to a doctor about being bothered serious enough to cause any damages yet thats all she did was tell everyone i bothered her as they helped her push me away. they take away your joy, self esteem, the people you adore and long for forever, make you cry more tears than anyone ever was meant to and dont have to be held accountable???whats wrong with this picture. i dont want to run away from them i want them to be forced to say sorry and then spend their time cleaning up their mess they made of your life. if they wont volunteerily then make them. dont make the victim have be responsible for their own recovery. because they may not feel they have enough strength to get up each day let alone play keep away from their assaultant. should just have get diagnosed with NAS then let someone know who was your abuser and order them to get an tested for NPD. their more dangerous than a psychopath because they are ashamed of their action and try not to get caught and will do anything not to. whereas the other finds fame and thrill when people find out about them.

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Monica says July 19, 2020

Thanks. Very encouraging and informative

Reply
Elisa says July 18, 2020

Thank you, Ms Saeed! Just what I needed to read!

Reply
    Kim Saeed says September 28, 2020

    You’re welcome, Elisa 🙂

    Reply
Bob says July 18, 2020

This article really resonates with me .. even after a few years of thinking I was healed or healing.. I seem to alternate between the two types of empath.s I’m trying to stay more in the empowered empath these days .. but do slip back .. thank you Kim this has helped me to be more aware of what I’m doing an need to practice at.. It a long journey.. beware of quantum leap’s they can fool you into thinking your all empowered .. then I get sucked back to my old exhausted empath .. Thanks to Kim I can recognize what’s happening a lot sooner..

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Rugia says July 17, 2020

I still feel that I haven’t thanked you enough Kim.
Your articles are always amazing.

I believe am still developing myself to be a fully empowered empath. I was able to let go of my narcissist out of self love and awareness and with your help still maintaining a no contact.
I now always let go of anything toxic. You are right, letting go is freedom.
THANK YOU Kim❤️

Reply
INGEBURG MACAULAY says July 16, 2020

A former casual friend has tried to interfere in my longtime marriage . She is making my life hell . She is a classic narcissist .there is more to the story –not enough space . I need help .

Reply
Anonymous says July 16, 2020

a former friend (Narcissist } has tried to interfere in our marriage . My husband now has vascular dementia and she still tries to interfere . She makes my life hell . what do I do ?

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