Love Bombing is the Gateway Drug to Love Addiction

My husband of 33 years has discarded me in the most brutal way. He was the sun the moon and the stars to me and I loved him so. We decided to sell up because he wouldn’t say sorry for the way he goes on and carried our furniture out in front of my eyes whilst inside I was sobbing. I was broken. He said I’m off as he left and rang later to hear my voice answer the phone. It was in that moment I realised that no one in the world would do what he did to me and abuse me if he loved me. I’ve surrounded myself with my amazing family gone absolute no contact and bought a flat from my share and replaced furniture he took with new. I am sad broken-hearted and lonely but anything and I mean anything is better than abuse-pure and simple and I will recover and so will you. It’s not my narcissist husbands fault and I wish I could love and help him but it’s not my fault either.

I’m now regaining confidence and growing stronger each day ,yes they are times I fine myself daydreaming about the love bombing period but once I recognise it I Focused my mind on way I’m going it’s been a very difficult journey and I fine myself constantly have to stay focused .emotionally it comes and goes in different forms , feeling anger betrayed hurts disappointed sense of wanting revenge missing her wanting to do her ham but there are just feelings I still feel them but not as strong.I have a couple of Christian friends that been my strength and support throughout and I thank God I’m moving forward and making progress.

[…] through narcissistic abuse is a form of love addiction. When someone is addicted to a drug, it’s fun at first – that’s why they start using. […]

I was married to a narcissist for 15 years and he almost destroyed me and my relationships with my friends and family. I’ve been divorced for almost 7 years and am still struggling with the damage he did to my self-esteem. I became addicted to drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. I’m not sure if I’ll ever recover and I know I’ll never be “me” again

[…] During the love bombing phase, the narcissist is setting you up for an addiction. […]

[…] wedding of their dreams. Maybe they’ll go overboard with the fancy, surprise proposal and start love bombing you incessantly. Perhaps they’ll write out a sappy, tear-jerking Facebook status announcing their […]

[…] you say, gaslight you, hurl insults, and make you feel completely worthless. Next, he or she will shower you with praise, gifts, and affection – temporarily of […]

I with you. Your story is almost the same as mine. Thank you for sharing ?

[…] as going No Contact is, what’s even more difficult is the period after applying it.  There are withdrawal symptoms, heartbreak, horrible self-doubt, and the urge to reach […]

Thank you for your supportive emails which are informative. Yes, all I ever attracted were narcissistic and sociopathic men in positions of power and authority. This recreated my childhood caregivers. I currently feel neutral about the man who is in my life. Once I had an obsession that he was the knight in shining armor that would rescue and validate me. However, by standing up legally to a religious system with men in power and authority I realized my own power. I rescued my own inner child. This is what has neutralized the man who has been the one I would fix to rescue me! I have compassion for him as a wounded person. I deal with him from a higher place. This has caused him to morph and rise higher in his mirroring. Right now I am processing early childhood trauma and seeing the role he played by being energetically identical to a significant character during the period of time I am processing.

Hopefully very soon I will go back to no contact. There is no way this person can change because he isn’t willing to look inside and do the hard work. He merely parrots everything I have fed him by sharing in detail my recovery process! I handed over the bait to use to manipulate me and the language I use in which to form a fake connection.

I am currently in a twelve step program to help me with occasional intermittent abuse of alcohol. I will use the twelve steps with him as well.

My biggest problem with breaking away is I need to confirm he’s a narsist and it was not my low value behaviour which made him act the way he does. I also think I’m an empath and I’m very easy going. I know this can make them use you as a door mat. Can you help Me?

Thank you so much for this article. I am really able to help myself heal knowing that I have been in such an abusive relationship. I thought I was crazy for having such a hard time leaving and I felt so weak. I have finally broken free from her and have been maintaining a no contact policy. This has been so hard to do but every day it gets easier. Part of letting go came when I just stopped counting how many days it’s been since we texted or spoke. I was able to just put all of it into the past. I purged my life of things that remind me of her including music and anything that I noticed could trigger an emotional response.
I really was helped reading all of this information and am truly grateful
Craig

RIGHT ON!!!

YES! For helping with “NO CONTACT.” I wrote down a list of all the UNACCEPTABLE ABUSIVE comments, events, behaviors, feelings, insult, wtv occurred and keeping it by my computer for referral when I felt weak. One look at the list, and I was back in that moment, acknowledging it happened and I didn’t deserve that. I recommend this to others. Also, a list of ignored red flags. Hindsight is 20/20…

Oh my gosh, this is exactly what I have just gone through! Or, still going. It’s been a month since I’ve been discarded. My mind still can’t comprehend what happened. After a 2 year of a relationship to a guy who seemed soooooo good to me, I confronted him about his drinking and he suddenly pulled the plug. Dissapeared on me. No explanation. I’m buffled. I was about to sell my house to live with him as he insisted we should live together to build our future. I hesitated due to his unresolved situation with ex wife and unhealthy relationship with alcohol. So he withdrew. Completely! After all this love and attention he showered me with. It’s mind boggling!

It is very difficult to admit this is me. But Kim, you have the Most sound info out there when facing narcissistic abuse. I tried to bargain with myself that I didn’t have to go No Contact. It is a process, but it is the only way. Every email i get is perfect timing in my journey of healing. I am also enrolled in bootcamp. Much love to you and what you do.

I was discarded by my ex a little over a month ago. I always considered myself strong and independent. The more i read about narcisstic abuse the more i realize what happened to me. He bought a house and moved 1 of his 2 ex’s that he stayed “friends” with in. I have alot of learning and healing to do but im on my way. It was a painful experience and im still learning to think differently.

Wow! All of our stories are so similar! My ex-husband just up till two weeks has been promising to buy me a house and that he can’t live without me i’m the only women for him, Blah Blah BLah! LOL! He has tried to put constant pressure on me the he needed me, for him that meant sex. We don’t talk and out of the blue he loves me and can’t live without me ? I don’t think so. Then on Sunday after mothers day he texted me that he would not be contacting me anymore. I just had to laugh, because it didn’t matter to me, i have been done believing his lies. So today I get a next from him Call me, like nothing. no response, so he texted again that he needed to hear my voice. I feel sory for him, I don’t hate him, because he has a mental disorder, but I have zero desire to hang out with him or even see him. It’s just uncomfortable. We have been divorced since 2015 and he really thinks I can forget that living hell he put me through? Not in this lifetime~ LOL! I remember having to have knee surgery, and he texted me on his way to work that i needed to leave because he needed to be with the person he had been cheating with for 5 years. He said he couldn’t breathe without her, on the day of my surgery. But this is par for course. for narcissist, no empathy and discard when you really need them they can’t feel true and sincere love and I think that’s really sad. But we can do this! We all deserve better, and I have the best support system in family and friends. Thank you Kim for your insight and encouragement. I can truly say I have no temptation to respond and it took me a while to get here, but there’s definitely no turning back now! I am free! I have peace and joy and care about me!

Good luck on your journey. Its been 2 months of no contact for me and it wasn’t easy at the start but it’s gonna get better.

I was the one after 5 yrs who ended the relationship with the Narcissist and I can tell you it was the hardest thing I had ever done. I still have flashbacks of things he said and did to me. I am grateful we never lived together and that he lives over an hour from me. This relationship changed my life in many ways and I can tell you I am grateful, yes grateful it happened. If it weren’t for the narcissist I would have never understood the many facets of my childhood. It was as though the light bulb finally came on and now I see things so differently. It opened a whole new door for me. I can tell you it was a blessing in disguise. I am truly grateful today for the knowledge and experience I gained and honestly I don’t regret anything. To those of you still in your toxic relationships. I can tell you there is hope for you, and it does get easier, it really does. With time and effort you can heal.

I was discarded by my narcissistic ex almost a year ago. She is still trying to control me through my children. She took her ex back and now they call him daddy. I’m just biding my time, healing and learning everything I can. She will eventually come unstuck. And I’ll be able to smile serenely when she does.

I feel it very important to get away, cease any & all contact, move as far away as possible, make sure he doesn’t know where you live, do alot of soul Searching, talk to people you trust, kerp a journal, love yourself more ; more each day, mine wouldn’t stop for 2 years, I have a daughter with him, he pulled so many stunts to get my address, he would text me non-stop for hours, at first I would fall into his trap of answering, when I became a nervous wreck, I refused to answer anymore, I ignored him completely, took 2 years, but it finally stopped, I don’t see him, talk or text him, he sees my older kids, & tells them how he still wants me back, I left for a reason, actually many reasons, for myself& our 13 year old daughter, he even tried to drag her into this, please learn the signs, make a plan & leave as soon as possible, this isn’t love, it is meantal, emotional abuse..

Thanks so much for your very informative articles about narcs. I was lucky enough to get out of a narc abusive relationship after only six months, though I should have seen the warning signs after the first two months. I am slowly recovering and picking up the broken pieces. I find that eft helps tremendously, – emotional freedom techniques, tapping on acupressure points, has shifted me. thanks all, xxx D

Still with the narsisist trying to get out.

I am in trouble. I have chronic illness that requires pain medication, and want to just surrender myself to inpatient psychiatric help. I do have p tsd, and therapist thinks narc abuse syndrome, major depression thatmeds don’t help. I spent 12 years maried on and off with a narc, finally divorced 5 years ago. I’m on disability and can’t function at all right now as I’ve been in another relationship for a year with another narc, psychopath, not sure which but as soon as he moved in ev changed. He has physically, emotionally verbally abused me and my mind feels gone! He talked me out of showing up at a protective order hearing, wanting to keep trying but NEVER talk…does all the gaslighting, projection, loud annoyed disrespectful, found still talks to ex, saw on his fb on his phone a friend with a PORN picture! He’s lied, all of it. He finally discarded me and I’m having a breakdown! Haven’t bathed in a week, or left my home except to go get my meds and dr…I’m scared to tell therapist because I live in a place where inpatient psych is horrible! I know they will only focus on pain meds because of the whole opiate thing and I’ll end up in pain and ignored. I have been searching for a inpatient treatment but cannot go without my emotional support dog. I am on Medicare as well and can’t afford to pay. I have no support system but a sister who tells me I have to get it together…I don’t know what to do. I don’t even care if I live or die, and am drinking and hiding…I know I need help, and am willing to go anywhere who’ll let me take my dog and even help me get off all the meds if that has to be…as long as I’m not left to suffer, I have chronic Lyme fibro is and an autoimmune disease not being treated yet. I live in a terrible state for healthcare. I was an Rn for nearly 30yrs….I’m so scared. Really don’t think I’ll live much longer without help and I’m only mid 50s. Have 2 grown son’s married who went through hell the first time, but can’t understand or help. I really need help now

I’m at the beginning of leaving. It very over but so hard to let go. There was a friend there that I will miss. I won’t miss the abuse tho. I’m so weak I hate it. I use to be so much stronger. What happen to her and how do I find her again. God, I hate my life right now.

I read this and realised that last night when my narc ( he left 2 months ago) sent me a message after my silent treatment towards him for a few hours saying “Please just stay in my life, be there because I need you” that even still he is keeping me in the background. Have still not been able to do the Block #NoContact because of this need to know his whereabouts and to hear how he needs me. He went back to his mother but has since been seeing his ex’s but says he can’t wait to see me. My weakness is wanting to be needed. I attract broken wings, have all my life & learnt now that I am perfect prey for narcs. I want to get over this …. I want to heal and breathe again. Why can’t I just do it

I’m proceeding w a divorce . It’s impossibke to maintain “no contact” He doesn’t want a divorce, but wants multiple relationships. The fighting for my freedom is making me broke and wearing . Starting over at 60 seems impossible. I’ll have to pay spousal support and I’ll never retire. It seems maybe easier to be married and just go my own way without the financial burden of lawyers and paying spousal support. He’ll fight till I’m homeless. Dating a narc is different than being married to one.

Dear Kim,
Thank you for your helpful articles you sent me. Together with personal counselling I have learnt a lot about my relationship with my ex husband. Here in Australia the word narcissism is not widely used or known and most people including professionals look at you with strange eyes when it is mentioned. The same with the word Fibromyalgia, with which I have been diagnosed. They think it is an “American Thing”. It is very frustrating and people are likely to think, you’re a bit “off”.
My last counsellor, describes my ex as a psychopath. Unfortunately he died of a heart attack, so that was the end of my very successful counselling and therapy. (The only one out of five counsellor). So I’m left on my own again. Since I left my marriage in 1996, after 22 years of marriage and divorced in 2001, my ex has been very busy behind the scenes to discredit me and make my life even more of a misery. I have no contact with him, but this is absolutely not protecting me and also other members of my family. He has succeeded to cause my estrangement from my eldest daughter (now 43). And I had difficulties with my other 2 daughters, over the years with accusative and disrespectful treatment. He has left my only son alone. His target has always been females. In the last few years, my eldest daughter appears to want to reconcile with me and I heard from one of my daughters that she has fallen out with her father. Of course, there was a big sigh of relief from my part, but a lot of damage has been done. We only see each other at family gatherings and she has confided in me that she suffers from chronic anxiety, as do I, and I know she has been a victim as much as I. She talks to me about herself a lot. Like her ailments and difficulties with people at her work etc but never about the “triangle” as I call it between her, her father and myself. She has had also difficulties with her sisters and brother, but this seems to be improving since the arrival of my grandchildren ( only her 2 younger sisters have children; she herself never wanted any). My eldest daughter, without her realising, has been a very successful flying monkey to discredit me to my other children and even to my own brothers who live 20.000 km away when she visited my birth country 4 years ago. I had a visit from one brother a year later and I ended up in hospital with a concussion and a hand fracture. He accused me of all these horrible things and said my ex was a good man. I need to emphasise that this brother and his wife have NEVER even met my ex. In the 44 years that I have been in Australia, I have seen this brother twice for a short period of time. Once in 1980 and then 1993 when I came over for my father’s funeral. He does not know me and his 2nd wife even less, and yet they both got stuck into me when they were guests at my house. I left home when I was 18 and he 14. And yet he seemed to know a lot about me and about my marriage. He even went so far as to tell my adult married children that I was “lost and had a mental disorder” and he mentioned Bipolar. The next day I confronted him and I was trying to set boundaries. He didn’t like it and grabbed me by the face and and when I was turning away from him he twisted my neck and pushed me, causing me to fall. My other brother also attempted to bully me once on a FaceTime session we had. As you can see the smear campaign reaches far and wide. I have set strict boundaries with both these brothers. However the issues are still ongoing here in Australia. After my ex fell out with my eldest daughter, he then started on my next daughter but I have been able to tell her my side of the story( the truth, by the way). She is aware of his lies and he knows it so now he’s gone on to my youngest daughter. I have to inform you that my 2 younger daughters had been conceived, one by deception and the other by violence, hence the age gaps. After the birth of my second child, son, I had made up my mind not to have more children, considering the state of our marriage. My ex has been an absent father and in the 5 years between my separation and divorce, he never had any contact at all with the children or paid child support. The 2 younger ones were 12 & 7 years old. It took me 2 years to locate him so that I could divorce him. In those 5 years he was stalking, breaking in and enter, fake phone calls, stealing my mail, sabotaged my car, gas pipes and water pipes, sent the council to my door “stating a “ neighbour” had complained that my property (I was still in the marrital home) was housing “vermin”, and more. I guess you get the picture. I raised my 4 kids by my self without financial or emotional support, or even an extended family. 3 are university graduates and the other one having her own business. So much for me being lost and having bipolar. About me being damaged is probably true, ( but not in the way he thinks) but I had a strong determination to set myself aside and concentrate on the raising of my kids. As you can see, my situation is somewhat different as to the fact I’m not in the relationship and has not been for a long time. My worry is now, that he has taken up with the next target, by youngest daughter. Things have slipped out of the mouth of my 4 year old granddaughter!!! . I have tried to warn my daughter not to leave him alone with the 4year old at any time. ( I live 3 hrs away, but he only 1 hour and appently from slips of the tongue, he come around quite frequently. This sudden interest in our adult kids since the divorce has always baffled me but I know it’s to find new supply. He is now 74 and lost his appeal to women and now he has been trying to get it from his own children and a 4year old GC. He is jealous that I have a lovely relationship with her and things have slipped to me which indicate lies and” keeping a secret”. What am I to do?? I never seem to get any peace.

Here is my advise when you feel anger: stop everything you are doing, slowly count to ten, take a deep breath in between each count to ten, and tell yourself that you do not get yourself into situations that result in DV. Tell the person you understand them (even if you do not) and that you are sorry (even if you do feel sorry). Remember you are a good person and will get through it just fine.

Best wishes,
Dave

I’m still trapped after being discarded…still craving for the love bomb again…its torture …

Kim my former world in a nutshell. As you suggested knowledge understanding does give you the upper hand.
With time correct help and belief eventually you do some through.
Once again you can be a valuable member of society. .
Thank you .
For the past reflection and validation

I have been no comtact with my ex psychopath for one month and seven days, this is the longest that I have continuously done it, I have unblocked him numerous times and every time just makes me feel worse. He has psychically and emotionally abused me for three years I had no idea such evil existed, I feel so much shame and guilt and depression, I have ptsd and can’t get these racing thoughts out of my mind, he projected everything on to me and made me feel as everything was my fault, After reading as much as I can I realize he is just a predator, a wolf in sheeps clothing, studied me so intensely and used everything against me, he will not leave me alone he will show up at my door and when I get in trouble is when my emotions do into overdrive then I have no control and if I open that door it’s done, so I have notes now on the inside of the door to hopefully stop me, I know I have to have him completely out of my life to have a chance of getting threw this, everything says it takes time and self love and no contact I am very determined this time I cannot let myself be treated like this anymore I have lost everything to this person ex specially my self respect, self dignity, my soul and my sanity some days I don’t even think I can go on, with flashbacks and things just popping in my head of what he did to me and horrible things he said almost drives me insaine at times it does but I have to keep telling myself he can not change, I used to foolishly think if I knew how much I really loved him he would change we could work it all out together now I know that was just an illusion thank you so much for your information it does help a lot I constantly read and read about how they operate and everything you wrote is EXACTLY what I have been and I’m going threw so it makes me feel less crazy which helps me make it threw, it is so hard to break that trauma bond it is the biggest addiction of my life but I know that when I do I will be the strongest I have ever been and every min, hour day that I keep away from him makes me stronger!

How do you achieve no-contact when you have children involved? Especially when the court-ordered visitation requires we are both present so that I can handle the physical needs of our disabled child?

I have to do domestic violence classes. Because of being arrested. Fun! AZ law.

What took me what seemed like FOREVER, was the ability to finally go fully no contact. I made every excuse in the world for my XN. What clicked and made it all of the sudden a piece of cake was the realization the person I loved, made excuses for, admired, and thought loved me, was a creative allusion the narc had built. My Prince never existed. The longer I went no contact, the more I saw, or really less I should say, the more there was to support that my Prince was nothing more than a storybook character. Coming to this realization made it very easy for me to let go. I want and deserve my real-life true Prince. Now, I have to work on loving ME enough to avoid being trapped ever again!!

Hallo all–
I have felt sick and a poisoned after a nearly one year long relationship, i which I got engaged (too quickly) and then we were to marry last June. i loved “her” and she started with the triangulating ; mentioning an ex– I told her to get rid of this guy and block him. She got a job and we lived together for 4 months. She wanted to move house really quick– I said lets leave it till after marriage. After a few things happening — I asked her to leave. She did and NEVER tried to discuss the relationship at all–she was cold and unengaged (crude at times) plus she started the icy silent treatments. I tried to meet her on our wedding day – I had flowers delivered etc an she was acting OK but weird–she mentioned the ex yet again (on our bloody wedding day??) I stayed that night. We were intimate but she never seemed any closer after intimacy??
The next day she asked to lend money as she had quit her job in a really irresponsible manner. After about a few days, she said we cant talk anymore as her kids — did not “like it” This woman is a full scale lunatic. She also posed as a born-again Christian—that to me was the lowest thing of all. As we had met on a Christian dating site. She has changed her photos on there and is posing as some sort of Christian. Thats one thing she will have to answer for. The whole thing was crushing and because I have some smarts, I knew something was “wrong” but thats all it was. I could not put a name to it. Its been about nine months. I was going to take the idiot to court to get my money. She has returned the engagement ring. She emailed me in January to say —it could have been wonderful together??? And that she was still “very much” single?? I have found out everything about this mendacious and evil form of existence only since she left. I was guided towards it and it is amazing how few people know anything about this?
This is a learning curve I did not wish to go on. So; feeling not great and have felt sick. A type of poisoning alright!
of one’s heart and soul and body. A while afterwards I got very ill.
So very physically sick–I could not move or get out of bed—it was horrendous! Also the confusion it creates is almost mind altering.
Thanks to these communities for spreading light into this darkness.
Jim

I can relate about how the media can slow down the recovery from a narcissistic relationship. Reading the negative coments on his (?) still had an impact on my recovery. Thak you for reminding me that I have to stop going to any type of media and making myself upset.
Every day is a battle.
The addiction to a narssist person took over one day and I lost it.
Regarless, of the awful experience I lerned about me. Yes, Me, the most important person in this soap opera. By getting educated about a narcissistic passive aggressive personality has made me understand that I must observe but not absorved. It has taking me three years to acquired just a few tool through your videos, as well as your positive guide pointers, books, sicology sessions etc..
I only know that I only have given very few steps to recovery.

So, please do not stop educating us about learning more about ourselves and how to deal with this ugly Narcissists that already have more traumas than me.

I’m actually looking for some advice. I am madly in love with a woman who has been in a 20 year marriage with a narcissist. Never any physical abuse but lots of mental and emotional abuse. She truly is an angel and deserves a loving relationship where she feels worthy of love. Is there any advice you can offer with how to take care of her better as well as handle my own emotions when some of the ugly feelings from her marriage crop up in our relationship. I’ve already prepared myself that there will be times that things I say or do remind her of him and I just want to make sure I don’t add to her pain and sad feelings. She is my best friend and we wish to spend the rest of our lives together . Thanks for any help that you can provide.

Oh, I forget to mention in the message below, that’s me also, that all these disordered people are magnets to empaths, which I also found out about myself. These preditors are out on the prowell for gentle caring people because we over look a lot of bullshit and put up with way too much crap. So if you keep attracting these idiots you could very well be an empath or as I call myself ” A highly sensitive person” and that’s because of all the abuse and crap I put up with growing with an idiot for a father and never learning what a good man really was. This was a dark night of the soul for me, I’m still quivering almost three years later!

It is very sad to realize the narscist manipulates to get their needs met
I too was giving to get. I thought if I give him what he wants I’ll get what I want . I thought this was compromise . Things did not work out so fair. He was angry abusive and acted like a spoiled brat. I’m glad I am basically pretty independent. With the help of this and other recovery programs I stopped focusing on him and tried to work on myself. I was hoping healthy behavior would rub off on him. I realize my care taking and being responsible was from being the oldest child . I was setting a good example. Things got worse. I gave up on the dream. I hold my own hand now. I was dieing

I have spent the past few years healing and find myself in a completely different and much healthier space.

Recently, a man expressed a wish to get to know me better. I shared that I was open to see if we had enough in common to be friends, but was not open to a romantic connection.

He seemed to be very nice and I enjoyed several conversations that appeared to be regular and appropriate. Some red flags appeared though in the form of his very early invitation to come to visit him at his home which is not near where I live. I expressed that this was perhaps inappropriate since we did not know each other well.

He seemed nice and I simply got on with my everyday life and all seemed normal. However, the most recent red flag was when this man said he would text me when he got home. He had been in the habit of making contact with innocuous and pleasant texts about once each day.

However, the promised text msg did not arrive after two days. I decided that someone who was not prepared to stay true to his word, even if that person is an acquaintance, is not someone who I want in my life. Trust is very important and from past experience, if a person acts in a specific manner that is inappropriate and is not something my other friends do, then that is an indication to me that it is time to let go and leave this person to himself. I have the right to be who I am and should not have to be other than who I am just in order to have someone in my life.

I sent him a final text msg thanking him for some pleasant conversations and reminded him that trust is important and so is keeping one’s word. I have now blocked his msgs and let go. I am happy with my decision because when people act in such ways as to create a form of uncertainty, in the past, I would have put up with such behaviour. No longer! When a person acts in such a manner they are showing you who they are and it only tends to get worse over time. Self-respect is the way to go and supporting my own self, setting boundaries and taking care to protect me.

So sad that a person I’d known since she was a teenager and considered a dear friend chose me to love bomb, convince me to leave my wife, lose my house and retirement, divorce against my core values, marry her and then go through the hell of 3.5 years of devaluation and finally discard. What kind of a heartless, sick person does this? Oh yeah, a narcissist. I loved her unconditionally, I cherished her. I tried to model Christ’s love to her, forgiving her again and again. And she spun around and left me for her narcissist organization leader, who got her a nice job that provides her supply. I am 63 years old, broke and broken by someone who was my soulmate, best friend and forever friend. Unbelievable. Oh, that’s what that other narcissist says.

I left the narc/sociopath and returned twice. I was out this third time and still am out. I had contact by phone, the,t and would see him maybe twice a week. I feel odd..at first because the abuse started right away, I wanted to prove to him and family I was not this horrible person. From then on it was battles upon battles and I never gave him a break. I thought..why I stayed that I could help him because he showed signs of change..ha ha. So after calling him on his many abuses..perhaps I woke up I ended it. He did not want that. It has been 52 days of silence. I had some desire to see him squirm. Perhaps me fighting him so strongly made this easier.
I come from extreme abuse and an abusive marriage and my sons are abusive. Anyway, I am so done with that life..so done. Every moment of every day I smile and amazing things have happened to me..profound. I am seeing me..
I am done..but they say the abuser is never done.

This is a great article!

I always enjoy your posts. The facts re that we are all mean to give and receive love because we are made in the image of god what is love.

I grew up in an alcoholic home with an emotionally shut down dad. I was always looking for love which is natural. I did not know how love starved I was and that it is ok to love yourself. I did not get the love and nurturing I needed.

This must have been obvious to the men I dated nd my sick, narcissistic x husband. I have been so betrayed and no I am afraid to love because I am still not healed.

Your posts always speak the truth and help a lot of people and they are good reminders of what to look out for in the future if someone is looking to get I to another relationship.

Also, we do need to know our emotional triggers and needs. And to know no o. Person can meet all of our needs.

Thank you for your postings. Peace to you always.

Mary
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