Psychic Cord Cutting: Healing After Emotional Abuse and Trauma

Thank you for this! I need to do this! I have a CN sibling who after my parents passed started at me, accusing me of all kinds of crazy things that I didn’t do and had no part in. I felt completely blind sided! This started 10 years ago when my mom passed and has escalated after my father passed 4 years ago. The CN has now recruited the other sibling as their flying monkey, and I now deal with both of them. The two of them have pulled some very nasty things. They’ve tried to twist and turn the tables to make me the bad guy, while never owning their part in anything nor their hypocrisy, they have smeared me to anyone who will listen. I don’t try to defend or explain myself, as I know if I engage with them at all, it only gets worse, and in their minds makes me the guilty party…and feeds them supply. I’ve gone no contact, yet they don’t stop. I do not react in anyway whatsoever, yet privately, this just eats at me, and has me in tears often. I have dealt with autoimmune issues during the times when the siblings have created so much stress, and recently had a serious heart attack, I’m convinced the stress these two create in my life, played a role. I know they need to go, yet struggle with the fact that they are family, and the only close family I have left…even though, they certainly don’t treat me as family should treat family. Recently while in hospital, the sibling showed up unannounced and uninvited, and hung around for 3 days. They challenged every damn word out of my mouth, and I could not figure out why they were there, as they treat me with such distain. Until I challenged them and told them I was aware of their smear campaign, what they were saying and doing behind my back. They could not get out of my room fast enough, and I haven’t heard from them since…that was 3 1/2 months ago. They haven’t even enquired how I am, when my heart attack was serious enough, that I could have died! I have not heard one word from the CN at all. That alone tells me that they don’t deserve any part in my life…now to take the steps to cut the cords! Thank you!

I’d never heard of “cord cutting”, but about a fortnight ago, before I read anything about it, I went on a guided healing retreat at a Christian centre. During a time of meditation I had a vision of Jesus removing a rope which was tied tightly around my wrist. It looked like the sort of rope an animal would be led round with. I am still having bad days, but there is such an increase of peace overall that I know something deeper happened. I am also feeling somehow much more connected with my own body. I hadn’t even realised how disconnected from it I had been until this healing.

I am grateful for all of your suggestions and insights! After nearly a year I am free of most of the toxic influence. I always find something surprising and useful in in your blogs. I am regaining the transformational and spiritual ground that I nearly lost in that relationship. Feeling blessed and graced!

[…] energy, as well as cause symptoms of depression and hopelessness.  Therefore, it’s critical to cut the energetic ties with the narcissist so you can move […]

Subconscious cord cutting

I want to know more about cord cutting.

[…] Perform a cord-cutting ceremony at least once a week until the energetic ties are gone. […]

[…] energy, as well as cause symptoms of depression and hopelessness.  Therefore, it’s critical to cut the energetic ties with the narcissist so you can move […]

[…] https://letmereach.com/2014/07/09/psychic-cord-cutting-as-part-of-the-healing-process/ […]

It was almost two years later and although I felt happy enough, I would have these crippling moments that would come out of nowhere and take me back to day one of my healing. Crying, feeling angry, checking out his social media. And of course, these were things I did in the early stages of my healing, but couldn’t understand why I would feel so overwhelmed emotionally, seemingly out of nowhere. Literally, one minute I could be laughing and having a great day and then would get ‘hit’ with these strong sensations of sadness or longing and I’d be stuck there for several days. It would fade and then a few weeks later or a month or two, it would happen again. It was almost cyclical.

We all go through that stage where we say we wanna let go, but deep down there is a place that refuses to accept that we weren’t loved, that it wasnt real, so we hold on. If you’re in that place then you cant fully move on, IMO. I wasnt in that place anymore and these bouts of emotional heaviness were ruining my ability to be consistently happy, ruining my peace. And as strange as it may sound, I began to recognize that the feelings I was experiencing were not coming from within me but from OUTSIDE. They were his! I’d always felt connected to him when we were a couple and the times when we were apart, which only strengthened my belief that we were soulmates and made it made it all the more difficult to accept what he was and end the relationship.

I was at my wits end. I was tired of feeling his misery, his anger, his sadness. I started seeing a therapist who validated what I was feeling and told me that yes, it IS possible to feel someone else’s energy and that they CAN project their energy on you, consciously or unconsciously. She gave me some tips on how to guard my energy field and we did some talk therapy to help me through the final stages of the hurt and pain. I took it one step further and went to see a reiki healer for cord cutting. Mind you, I’d never done anything like this before, but I was so desperate to be rid of this man and energy that I was willing to try anything. I really couldnt afford the cost of the session but again, I was desperate.

I told her what was going on and I laid down and she did a chakra alignment and cord pulling ritual. At one point she said, “Do you feel that?” And I’m like, “Uh, no. I dont feel anything.” After about an hour, I left. I didnt regret going but I also didnt feel any different. But again, I was willing to try anything. This was in January. It’s now May and I can tell you that it worked! The weeks that followed I felt increasingly lighter and free and hopeful. There has not been ONE emotional relapse. He still crosses my mind, but I am able to think of him and then move on. I am no longer overcome with inexplicable feelings of loneliness and sadness, regret, anger…nothing. I can enjoy my life without feeling like I’m carrying dead weight. Before the cord cutting, there were times when I literally felt like he was in the room with me.

So, if you’re struggling to get over a narc and you feel like you’ve done all the hard work but you just cant get over that hump, give cord cutting a try. I know there are ways to do it on your own, but I opted to go to a professional. Admittedly, I did peek at his FB page once or twice and he is now with the woman he claimed was just a friend or like his “little sister”. The difference is if I look, I shake my head and laugh and thank the heavens that it’s not me. Although, I still feel him from time to time, it’s not very strong at all, it’s momentary. The toxic ties that bound us are gone. Thank God.

BodyTalk by Dr. John Veltheim, QuickPulse from Jo Dunning, and Access Consciousness Bars sessions are also great cord cutting techniques.

[…] the energy ties with past lovers, including the Narcissist. You need to unhook from past lovers to make space in your life for your true love.  Otherwise, you won’t be able to invest yourself […]

Christmas Lights

Red light pokes through Christmas snow as a carpet
of wet brown dead pine needles softens your walk
from Usang Apartments to Immundae, where you’ve
sat, looking at Ggachi in Sycamores for seven years.
One eighth of the life so far boiled down to a poem,
a gathering, a suspended, augmented, finally diminished
goodbye. But this is the season of hello, great merriment,
brotherhood, sisterhood: of Auld Lang Syne spiced with
eggnog, turkey, ham, the harvest feast to last through stronger
longer days, detectable to the naked eye on exactly December
twenty fifth. My home town got its first four-foot blast in
November, so those snow-covered lights will diffuse a bit longer
than usual, emitting just enough color to stop frozen tears
from forming, and keep long-weary souls enraptured as humans
long enough for love to bloom again. Fourteen hours of dark
but interrupted by lights many don’t take down until March. Why?
Because they know what color means to those who make their
appearance at Christmas then slink back, unable to match their desires
to the way the world really works. To them the Christmas Fa La La
means more than to the carol-leaders. A toast to quiet perseverance.

Christmas Lights

Red light pokes through Christmas snow as a carpet
of wet brown dead pine needles softens your walk
from Usang Apartments to Immundae, where you’ve
sat, looking at Ggachi in Sycamores for seven years.
One eighth of the life so far boiled down to a poem,
a gathering, a suspended, augmented, finally diminished
goodbye. But this is the season of hello, great merriment,
brotherhood, sisterhood: of Auld Lang Syne spiced with
eggnog, turkey, ham, the harvest feast to last through stronger
longer days, detectable to the naked eye on exactly December
twenty fifth. My home town got its first four-foot blast in
November, so those snow-covered lights will diffuse a bit longer
than usual, emitting just enough color to stop frozen tears
from forming, and keep long-weary souls enraptured as humans
long enough for love to bloom again. Fourteen hours of dark
but interrupted by lights many don’t take down until March. Why?
Because they know what color means to those who make their
appearance at Christmas then slink back, unable to match their desires
to the way the world really works. To them the Christmas Fa La La
means more than to the carol-leaders. A toast to quiet perseverance.

Along with many other articles you have wrote, this has helped me a lot. I recently left my narcissistic ex who was 19 years older. Together for 3 years brainwashed with lavish gifts and smothering love. I was constantly accused of cheating, a drug addict, an alchoholic, a ni**** lover, or that i didn’t love him respect him. Push me down just to bring me back up with “i was legitimately upset” or “you did this to me”. Screaming, accusing, controlling, obsessive, possessive, 200 texts a day 200 calls, threats to arrest me sue me, then he loves me, says my mother is no good and i need to remove her from my loop, lies, keeps women in his stock…the list goes on, name it hes done it.
This website has truly saved my life. Thank you Kim

[…] Psychic Cord Cutting as Part of the Healing Process. […]

Reblogged this on Healing my codependency and your narcissism and commented:
The perfect way to break free and regain sanity and a life ! Thanks for posting this !

Fabulous and enlightening post. Thank you for pointing out that I am among those who are still “tied” psychically. I will work on cutting the rest of the chords that remain after having a 26-yr (on-and-off) affair. I think I’m already in a pretty good place après-affair, but obviously have a lot of work left to do. This blog post is a keeper!

Thanks Kim…I’m happy to say that I’m near 3 months of no/low contact…a lot the work of “cutting this cord” has come from reading your blog and communicating with you personally. No contact (in my case, modified contact due to our children…parallel parenting). Things have been changing almost daily for me as I continue the work of healing and focussing on my own life, separate from the emotional “tethers” (my counsellor’s words) that were still drawing me back into negative spaces. The remaining tie – our children. And I am in a MUCH MUCH healthier and better space for modelling boundaries in relationships with people who are difficult/toxic. Visualizing and having metaphors for this process is incredibly powerful. Thank you.

Wow, wow, wow. Yes, every symptom (with the exception of judgment and criticism) were all prevalent in my relationship. So, so true. Today was actually the first day I truly felt free from the negative tractor beam of this relationship. I had my nephew with me the last couple days, and spending quality time with him truly helped heal a lot of the burden I have been feeling. it is true that there are good days and bad days when you start the process of initiating NC. I am in my third month of no texting, and 5th of no speaking. It gets better month to month, but there are days where it feels like it happened yesterday. Today, I feel I had a bit of a breakthrough. I will perform this exercise. I am getting better…THANK YOU AGAIN.

Great work leading everyone through this important process. Necessary for healing and moving on.

Very important subject. Always mentioning cutting the cord and keeping that energy for ourselves. Our recovery depends on it. 🙂

WOW…I have every one of those symptoms of heavy cording. This very morning I was driving to work and begging God to help me stop these exact same things. I have good days and bad – I had 24 years dealing with my narcissist and I also believe my mother was one also – who has been out of my life for at least 30 years. Why was it so much easier to cut the cord with my mother than it was my ex-husband. I don’t know…but I will continue to pray and I will certainly try this exercise. This website has continued to come to my rescue – I do believe in God and I do believe that every time I feel weak – He intervenes and another post has been made to this page. Thank you Kim!