10 Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics to Watch for During COVID-19

Lock down we didn’t badger our son just every so often wanted to know how he was getting. At the time partner was pregnant weeks would go by no reply. Then we managed to track him reluctantly he met up after a lock down lift. I remember that day because I had missed him so much so happy to see him,. To my astonishment and this has never happened before dirty looks looking me up and down as to what I was wearing a straw hat long dress then another filthy look as he turned to lock his car door. I just couldn’t understand who I was dealing with it hurt. This was all before a conversation started. After the child was born his partner said to me that they were blissfully happy in lock down and never thought possible our son said he had never felt so isolated in his life. I was pleased but mixed feeling me and my husband missed him so much i was in a very bad way worrying about the world ill diabetic husband and daughter our daughter bad heart condition plus they knew all this never contacted to ask how all were and my husband was dealing with so many job loses he had a break down. iI the new year our sons best mate contacted us told us our son said they had moved and never given a forward address had they had the baby. Our son informed us that his partner had told him his best mate had made a pass at her and that they had cut him off. Very odd considering that this had never been mention even though she liked to gossip, His best friend denied it and said he didn’t. She constantly fantasied about men fancying her . She called me up during lock down and asked if I ever had sex with my husband when pregnant out of the blue! But within that phone call never asked how all were .No filter at all. Something happen in that lock down no doubt in our minds.

It’s as if you all have been watching n have repested watching us….

What if they really fool you into thinking they have genuine concern for your well being? Though I have managed to keep some distance lately, I find myself day dreaming that he might actually care. They know how to say all the right things sometimes. I might be in denial about how he has treated me but then I remember how he has treated others. Like his mother who has helped him again and again and paid his way when he had no money. As soon as he is on his feet again he verbally abuses her through text and only recalls how she has supposedly wronged him in life. He is just capable of so much hate. When someone cannot serve a purpose he needs them to, they are verbally abused and many times a bridge is burned. Who really acts that way I have to ask myself?

Kim, thanks so much for providing telltale narcissistic manipulative ploys to expect during the pandemic. “If only the horse can be led to water & will drink it.” The jobless Narc offers all manner of non-monetary assistance to my hoodwinked sister. He guilt-trips & love-bombs my high-salaried sis into reciprocating his hobosexual handyman efforts with paid restaurant meals, free rides in her car, paid sightseeing excursions, free storage of his belongings at her home, & who knows what else. The Narc claims only recently being “separated” (despite failed promises of impending divorce from his wife for decades). Like a glib ConMan, he’s: No Action, Talk Only (NATO).

I went no contact and it has been maybe 4 or 5 years. He still tries to keep in contact but all he get is DELETE. He tried coming over when I got out of work but he caused his own narc injury by smiling and being happy to see me and all I did was walked on by like he wasn’t there. He is dead to me.

Hi Kim,

My ex was the worst Narc ever. unfortunately, it cost me dearly and took 16 years to break away and try and recover while single handedly raising our only daughter. The saddest part of all of this Is how close my daughter and I had been for 30 years. Now, it’s blatantly clear she inherited his narcism and it’s taken over. I’m so heartbroken and demoralized and have never been so far apart from her as we have been the past 9 months. I don’t even know her anymore and she has exhibited the worst of narcissism only to hurt me over and over. I would never be in another relationship with a Narc but this one s my only child – my only family and it’s not the same as ex husbands or boyfriends or bosses. Of course she doesn’t know her character traits have changed not for the better. Until now, I always believed she was the best thing you had ever done. And I don’t even have that anymore. It feels like the worst betrayal imaginable with no direction to take.
Sad and alone mom
I want my daughter back ……

This article is do gracefully true. Everything my ex did was false

Omg!!! So funny! This is exactly what happened to me. I hblocked my ex but then got a new phone and it didn’t transfer blocked calls. It’s been 2 yrs since I last spoke to my ex. Lo and behold he texted and asked how I was doing w all this virus stuff going on. I was in shock but also knew he wasn’t texting bc he cares. I responded. He even asked how my parents were doing just like you mentioned in your article. He of course only talked about himself and blah blah. After texting for a few min, I didn’t really care much but then the next week all my negative emotions came flooding back. I was having nightmares again and feeling triggered then feeling angry. I blocked him again but I just couldn’t understand what his point was in texting me. I know he was trying to reach out to see if I was vulnerable but I know his games and know all his manipulative tactics. Don’t ask why I replied but I did which sucks. It is what is it is and I had to work on forgiving myself and letting that go. It’s crazy how a simple texts triggers a tsunami of intense negative emotions and all the horrible memories of what they’ve done and they will NEVER be sorry or care.

Omg!!! So funny! This is exactly what happened to me. I blocked my ex but then got a new phone and it didn’t transfer blocked calls. It’s been 2 yrs since I last spoke to my ex. Lo and behold he texted and asked how I was doing w all this virus stuff going on. I was in shock but also knew he wasn’t texting bc he cares. I responded. He even asked how my parents were doing just like you mentioned in your article. He of course only talked about himself and blah blah. After texting for a few min, I didn’t really care much but then the next week all my negative emotions came flooding back. I was having nightmares again and feeling triggered then feeling angry. I blocked him again but I just couldn’t understand what his point was in texting me. I know he was trying to reach out to see if I was vulnerable but I know his games and know all his manipulative tactics. Don’t ask why I replied but I did which sucks. It is what is it is and I had to work on forgiving myself and letting that go. It’s crazy how a simple texts triggers a tsunami of intense negative emotions and all the horrible memories of what they’ve done and they will NEVER be sorry or care.

I am dealing with a narcissistic boss who is running a smear campaign on me. I don’t know how to get rid of these people. I don’t want them in my life anymore.

Hi Kim, thx alot…
She left me in these days and I am very greatfull N thanksfull she did, Strait blocked her from all my contact N forever. .

I originally didn’t think my ex was a narc. But the more of your posts I read, the more things make sense. Thank you for that.

Fortunately the only way he can get to me is through email. And despite being told on numerous occasions to leave me alone, he never does. I sometimes get “you win, I’ll leave you alone”. But then a week later I’ll get more emails checking on me and making sure I’m ok. Or wishing me “good luck” – like I can’t cope without him.
Unfortunately I have to work with him. And as I’m furloughed and he’s not, he’s determined to try and get me to gossip about what’s going on at work. Or to threaten my career or suggest that my behaviour is making other people not want to be friends with me. And I should explain to them that being flirty is “just how I am and just doing my job”.

But I’ve been holding off for the last month. As much as I want to rant and rave at him, there’s no point because he doesn’t listen, still doesn’t think he’s done nothing wrong. So I’m saving my breath, keeping my temper and ignoring him.

Best of luck everyone.
And stay safe xx

My daughter is dealing with a narcissist father to her children who inflicts mental abuse on them to hurt her. No one will listen to her, he always gets what he demands, even though he is breaking all the parenting contract rules. It is just maddening that he is allowed to be near them let alone all he has mentally done to them.

Out of the blue, after 2 years of no contact following the N’s doing something horrendous to me (really really horrendous), my N-mother and N-sibling contacted me by mail and telephone. When I received the letters I didn’t open them. I felt immediate fear, guilt, and confusion. My mind filled with thoughts that they need me, they have to tell me something important, or they were contacting me to apologize. After thinking about it I realized I had changed but knew they hadn’t. I couldn’t have them mirror back to me bad things I am not. They never thought anything good of me so I was constantly defending myself and trying to prove myself to them. Try doing that with two N’s who act as a tag team to scheme and drum up drama together. I knew I wasn’t mentally or physically capable of going through that again. Yes, it’s a very sad choice to make, but there isn’t any other option.

Thank you for the information. Very insightful. Most points apply to romantic relationships. My narcist is my dad and we got in a fight last week. He has continously try to push me and obsess with a job he thinks is right for me..which is giving me alot of anxiety. I yelled and said stop being an ahole to me and pushing me and that triggered him into silent treatment with me. It’s so upsetting to pull silent treatment at the time when support and caring is needed the most during this time. Makes me very sad and anxious for many reasons. Just don’t know how to deal with this when I want to reach out and make sure he is ok etc and he should feel the same. Any suggestions?

I have blocked him everywhere, so he sent an SMS asking how I was doing, and that he’s always available in case I need any help! I ignored it.

Oh Kim,this is so right on. He texted and offered a N95 mask. I was looking for a mask for my 71 year old sister and her husband who has heart disease. I told him to put them in a baggie at his door and I would pick it up. But of course he had to come out and meet me at the car. I didn’t say a thing ,not even thank you.I just took the masks and left. I really didn’t even want to do that. I found out that he was giving N95 masks out to certain neighbors and friends . His MO is to always look like the Hero or savior ,the good neighbor . It is a good act to give masks out but he doesn’t care about any of them .He is only doing it to look like a good guy.

Your advice is very wise. If a narcissist sends you a card, letter, or gift – discard it or donate it as their intentions are unclear. If a gift comes from a place of love you know it immediately as that person is kind to you, respects you, and wants to see or hear about your reaction to their gift. If a narcissist sends you a gift it is for narcissistic supply. They are out to hurt you in some way. Sending gifts serves them, not you. So just discard it or give it away.

You are right on! One day after reading this I receive a letter, because every other way of contact is blocked, saying if I don’t unblock my phone then I am possibly missing out on the last time we talk if Covid-19 takes him. Not unblocking… Thank you for the support Kim.

Two former narc boyfriends contacted me within the same 24 hour period. One texted, I’m bored, exactly as the article above said. It’s like there is a Narc manual that they all follow!

Kim dear thank yo so much for this article.
My clever narcissist hooverd a while ago with some supplies! It’s been nearly a year I haven’t heard from him and there he was out of the blue.
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
nevertheless, I wasn’t moved.
You are right indeed, they are full of tricks.

Hihihihi interesting piece. I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you Kim.

Don’t worry. Many, many generations of humans have lived through pandemics, plagues and other situations like this. Even World War 2 was like this. Humans have nearly been wiped out by plagues in history e.g. the Black Death in the 14th century wiped out 60% or more of Europeans. We can survive this.

Well, my now ex-narc does none of this as he is far nastier than what you describe here. In early March, I phoned him to ask him if there was any hand sanitizer in his neighborhood, one hour away, and he called back a whole nine days later, and did not even leave a message!! Another slap in the face. When we finally did speak, he downplayed that, and offered some b.s. and also said he did not even care if he got the virus, or if I have it, and I should immediately come over an break self-quarantine! He is a 73 year old, drooling porn addict who is now watching more of it than ever, in new chat rooms, etc. He does it all. His new fave thing and he sent me the photos of the 20 and 30 somethings in this chat room: these are young, pretty transsexuals, boys who have become girls, who f….k their fathers and there are photos, videos, and graphic verbal descriptions of their incestuous sex acts. He is very excited about these scenarios, and he very enthusiastically said he really wants to f…k these transsexuals, and I said why don’t you, and he said, he cannot as they live in distant states. I had asked him not to look at porn when speaking to me on the phone, as it is disrespectful, and he just laughed. The next night, he called and simply aid, “I don;t wanna!!”, and hung up. The same thing happened last April, 2019, too. I have had enough of this devaluation. So, no lovebombing for me in the time of Corona – he has plenty of cheap, much younger VIRTUAL supply for jerking off, one of his major pasttimes, even though he has wicked E.D. I have not hear from him since he left that childish tantrum on my machine and hung up.

You’re spot on Kim!
I’ve had the offer to move back in to his big house where he has everything I could ever need in this time of crisis. Wouldn’t it be a better place for our child to be at this time? Big garden etc..
Oh my! Nooo. I left that toxicity nearly a year ago and wouldn’t take a million bucks to go back!
He is not practicing social distancing and I know it, but am sure that his friends won’t let him near their families at the moment. He can rattle around that big house alone. Except for the new supply of course.. she will be there sometimes and the poor thing has no idea what devils lare she has stepped into.

My heart goes out to you. So tough that you nearly made it out but this now has you trapped. As if discovering the narc in your life isn’t traumatic enough! You WILL get out and WILL recover. Stay strong, sister.

Jane,

My heart goes out to you as I know from experience how tough it is when the narcissist knows you’re leaving. There are some important things to remember:
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Ask someone if they would be willing to take you in if you quarantined for 14 days prior to interaction.
4. Safety First- You May need to run away and seek non traditional help such as churches or old school friends.
5. Last but not least it is going to take a lot of prayer to get you through this one. Hide in the closet and pray if you need to but lean of the promises of God.

I make YouTube videos for victims of abuse. Watch any videos not just mine and comment. Stay connected to the NPD survivor recovery community.

This article on narcissists during the quarantine crisis was very helpful! In my current situation it helped guide my decision making. this article really helped to make me aware of things I was overlooking. background knowledge of their thinking in situations such as this is definitely important!

Oh gosh Jane that sounds like a nightmare. I was there too so just know this is temporary and the life you’ll have after will be so much better even if you can’t see it now. One lesson I learned is that you never announce your plans to a narc just like to any abuser. If the reason he knew is because divorce papers were filed then that makes sense. Now that the cat is out the bag survival is your main concern. And I don’t mean from coronavirus. You can go grey rock and be unemotional in your responses during this time because they feed off emotions. But still plan your exit plan (make all your moves in silence). Even if you were leaving there should be a separate bank account, plans of a new place to stay unless you’re getting the house, new passwords, keeping a record of everything abusive he does and says in case you need it in court, and really an exit plan for everything that can legally and digitally be done online without him knowing (erase your online history). Online therapy would be great, they have some where you can chat via messenger if you’re afraid he would listen in. Not ideal but better than suffering in silence. If nothing else use the time to take the course and read up on life after narcs because the healing after will be one of the most difficult – but amazing – things you’ll go through. Virtual hugs to you, just remember “this too shall pass.”

Hello! I did not even know that these were tactics of narcissistic manipulation. I have not heard much about this, but there have been times that I have fallen for these tricks. Do they do it unknowingly? Thank you for sharing this, this is really important information, I will know how to avoid such situations. Blocking and ignoring often do not help because such people sometimes write to my friends and acquaintances to reach me. I ask you not to respond to this. I will adhere to your advice, have a good day!