When narcissism first exploded onto the internet scene several years ago, it was believed that mostly men are narcissists.
But, in truth, the ratio of male to female narcissism is around 50/50. The numbers were skewed in the past because men were less likely to come forward with their stories of abuse.
The truth is, male targets of narcissistic females are suffering just as badly as the women who’ve been (or still are) involved with a pathological male Narcissist.
And there is one very shocking reality as it relates to female narcissists. They more often get away with their abuse than their male counterparts, especially when it comes to getting custody of any children involved. This is because most states still favor children staying with their mothers.
Do these pathological women care about their children? No, they will go on to alienate them from their poor, unsuspecting fathers and condition them to believe their father is an evil man…all because he had the balls to stand up for himself and leave. Because he determined she was too darned schizoid and he wasn’t going to be her pawn anymore.
What happens to any children who are, by all accounts, held prisoner by these she-devils is a story for another day (and a sad one, at that.) For now, I will illustrate three of the most common evils that narcissistic women get away with.
1. The bedroom isn’t their only means of brainwashing. Let’s face it, men like sex. And if a female narcissist can convince her target that she’s the absolute, hands-down best he will ever have, she has gone far in winning his admiration. However, this is how male narcissists keep the devotion of their female targets, too…so, what’s the difference?
The difference is that the female narcissist, by virtue of being female, plays out the “damsel in distress” role quite convincingly. They rouse their male target’s need to take care of ‘his woman’ by pretending to be vulnerable and in need of his care. In exchange for his “protection”, she will morph into whatever ideal he has for a compatible mate. Yes, male narcissists are great at projecting images and playing the part, but the female narcissist wins the Oscar. Consider the following:
Is he looking for the perfect step-mom? In a flash, she’s fixing dinner every night and offering to pick up the kids after school. (Little does her new man know that she despises kids).
Does he have mommy issues? Out of nowhere, she’s holding his head in her lap and rubbing his hair gently while he spills his innermost insecurities and fears.
Does he want a pig farmer? Suddenly, she’s wearing daisy dukes and pigtails like Elly May in The Beverly Hillbillies (never mind she was formerly a vegetarian).
As you can see, female narcissists have no scruples when it comes to programming their prey.
2. Female Narcissists will often file false charges with the police, claim to be pregnant, claim to have had a miscarriage, claim that an Ex is stalking them, etc., etc., all while looking innocent as a lamb.
Male narcissists certainly do their share of lying, cheating, and engaging in other morally bankrupt schemes, but again, narcissistic women get away with more simply by virtue of being female. They not only lie, cheat, and plot…they know they can get away with it. Indeed, they feel even more entitled because of their belief they should be treated like royalty.
These are women who use men for cars, money, homes, a relationship, sex, and whatever resources they need and can get from men at any given time. They often have some excuse as to why they cannot work outside the home, even going so far as to claim they have a phobia that prevents them from doing so (because of her horrible childhood, remember?)
Doesn’t it seem odd, then, how she can go partying with her friends…even traveling to another state for some big shin-dig? Perhaps a seductive flash of her cleavage will help you see her side of things – never mind that cop who is banging on your front door.
3. No matter what you’ve done to make her happy, she’s still Medusa in disguise . Just as their male counterparts are never happy, neither are female Narcissists. This is often described as their “moving the goalposts”, “the never-ending prospect of redemption”, and the almighty “no-win situation”.
Women are supposed to be moody…what with hormones, PMS, and menopause and such, right? This is exactly what she’s counting on you to believe…all while she runs amok like a rabid dog, changing her wants minute-to- minute, while having you believe her unhappiness is all your fault. You know what else she’s counting on? The fact that society has not only taught us that men are supposed to take care of their women, but also to not show any sign of emotion when the going gets tough. At all costs, you should put on a stoic front and deal with things with nary a sign of being human.
Yes, the female narcissist is every bit as evil as her disordered counterpart. The main difference is that by her being an exclusive member of the “gentler sex”, she can more easily spread her poison and abuse – and look pretty while doing it.
Even if your girlfriend, fiancé, or wife is beautiful beyond words, don’t use that as an excuse to overlook abusive behaviors. She may trap you by becoming pregnant (in which case you should demand a paternity test), use your decent morals to her advantage, and eventually end up with half of your house, earnings, and take your kids away from you…all with ample help from the courts.
Look into the future…do you want to be free, or at least on the way to healing…or sinking deeper into her emotional quicksand?
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How to implement ‘Extreme Modified Contact’ if you share custody with a narcissist
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