Does it seem that the narcissist is larger than life? Do you struggle with obsessive thoughts about them and wish you could get them out of your head? Do you feel that you love him or her more than anyone or anything else in your life, in spite of the hell they put you through? Are you searching for ways to break soul ties with the narcissist?
The emotional damage we experience as a result of narcissistic abuse results in blocked and negative energy. When this energy stagnates in our bodies, it causes many unpleasant symptoms such as sadness, depression, and physical disease.
Sadly, traditional therapy is often not enough to overcome this seeming soul takeover. Because it doesn’t address the largest underlying factor of what happens in cases of emotional trauma…loss of parts of the soul. Many times a patient is diagnosed with a mental or emotional condition when what’s happened is that parts of their soul have fled in moments of extreme emotional shock.
Soul loss is similar to what psychology refers to as “dissociation”.
There is nothing like it, and it can make you feel like it is literally impossible to get your sanity back, your soul back, and your life back so you can rebuild it. It is the hardest of all ties to break, based on what I’ve seen over the last 15 years in our healing community. The narcissist may have been absent from a former target’s life for a decade or more, but they are still troubled by the narcissist, even after being free from the toxic relationship for that long.
This battle you’ve been in with narcissists is a spiritual one. And it’s responsible for most of the physical, emotional, and spiritual maladies you’ve been experiencing.
8 Ways to break soul ties with the narcissist
Below are eight alternative healing methods that are wonderful complements to professional therapy. While there are many other alternative healing methods, the below suggestions are among the most common. It’s best to experiment with all of these in an effort to find the ones that resonate with you. Once you make this distinction, incorporate them into your regular routine.
1) Rid your home of anything the narcissist gave you or that belonged to them
Inanimate objects can and do absorb the energies of those who use them. Although it may sound bizarre, this is actually the simple law of nature.
Everything is made up of energy, including our thoughts and emotions which submit their own frequencies. When we touch objects, our energy attaches onto that object in the form of energetic “residue”, and whatever emotion we were experiencing at the time is what vibration attaches itself to the object. Thus, it only stands to reason that if your home is full of things that belonged to the narcissist, it is steeped in negative energy.
If you aren’t yet convinced about this concept, then at the very least, having things in your home that belonged to the narcissist will always result in a negative mental association and can result in triggers and memories of trauma.
As soon as you can, collect everything that belonged to the narcissist and get rid of it. These items might include clothes; jewelry; CDs; movies; pictures; luggage…anything that belonged to them. You can put it all together and have it delivered to the narcissist through a third party, or donate/sell the items. Do the same with any gifts they may have given you.
2) Smudge your home
This practice involves the use of essential oils, smudge sticks, tea-light candles, a bowl or shell, a large feather, and a pen and piece of paper. Some people choose to incorporate crystals and stones.
You may also wish to say a prayer while smudging. This can be a Native American Indian prayer, prayers to spirit guides, or prayers that you practice from your particular religion. Whatever means the most to you is what you should incorporate into the ritual. Smudging clears your home of negative energies and emotions.
3) Essential Oils
Entering a space can make you feel light and uplifted, or leave you feeling depleted and drained. Either way, you are responding to the energy of that environment. But did you know that essential oils can help you clear that energy out and raise your vibrational frequency? They are best used in diffusion and air sprays, and would not hurt to use them as a body oil either if you feel this would be beneficial (I use Young Living’s White Angelica).
4) Release the memory
This step might take some time, but can be of tremendous help. This will require recalling specific events that were especially traumatizing, so you might want to do it when you are able to be alone.
Write a letter to the narcissist explaining that what they did hurt you. Let them know exactly how you feel about their painful behaviors. If you feel you hate them, let them know. Don’t hold anything back. Then, plan a burial for the traumatic memories, complete with a eulogy.
Doing this for individual events is most effective because it provides specific closure where it’s needed. The symbolism is very powerful and cathartic for most people who do this.
5) Emotional Freedom Technique
EFT is a form of psychological acupressure, based on the same energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture to treat physical and emotional ailments for over five thousand years, but without the invasiveness of needles. Instead, simple tapping with the fingertips is used to input kinetic energy onto specific meridians on the head and chest while you think about your specific problem – whether it is a traumatic event, an addiction, pain, etc.
EFT can be done, without the help of a practitioner or therapist, by yourself in the comfort and safety of your own home. Or, you can work with a professional EFT practitioner or even a skilled friend, and get support as you are going through the healing process.
6) Reiki Massage
Reiki healing has a multitude of benefits such as emotional clearing, raising the vibrational frequency of the body, and helping to break addictions (such as trauma bonding and the neurological chemical addiction from being with a narcissist).
Studies show that reiki treatment may create feelings of:
By using Reiki technique, we are able to remind our bodies how to restore and heal themselves.
A psychic cord can create severe problems on emotional, subconscious, spiritual, energetic, and physical levels. These cords are often the main reason for blocked creative energy, repressed self-expression, loss of personal power, unresolved anger, fear or grief, weak interpersonal boundaries, and poor health. Cord-cutting can help alleviate some of these symptoms.
Students who are doing Break Free work are able to keep clearing up and out the negative ties with the narcissist, even if the narcissist tries to re-hook. In addition to feeling joy, inspiration, motivation, and purpose again, the feeling of the narcissist living under their skin begins to dissolve away. This was also my experience when I broke free from my ex’s psychic vampirism that left me feeling depleted and drained.
You will find this same liberation when you join the tribe of survivors who’ve not only stayed No Contact, but have survived and THRIVED after narcissistic abuse.
Why are there so many healing methods to choose from? Because we’re all unique individuals with different personality types, experiences, backgrounds, and learning styles. What works for one person may or may not work for another.
Final thoughts on doing this healing work:
- If you don’t feel an immediate release, it may come later in the day or at night, once you’ve finished your day and are able to relax.
- If you do these techniques and feel yourself getting depressed afterward, or that you’re starting to get sick or you’re suddenly extremely tired, this may mean the old emotions are releasing. In this case, please make time to process the emotions. If this outcome persists, notify a professional therapist.
- If you feel spaced out or disconnected, it’s another sign that the emotion is trying to release. You can help yourself by grounding and centering yourself, taking a salt bath, or lying down and doing guided meditations.
Do you have a success story for how to break soul ties with the narcissist? Please share in the comments section below!