Narcissists can be quite bothersome.ย If youโre miredย in a relationship with one, you mayย feel youโve ceased to exist because you can barely excuse yourself to the restroom without passing a Bill in Congress.ย Not to mention that if your Narcissist is overt, youโre forced to deal with tantrums that make a two-year old seem like a Zen master.
Every day, readers around the world find my site by searching โhow to get a Narcissist to leave you aloneโ.ย While I donโt know each personโs unique circumstances, what I do know is how to get rid of a Narcissist. ย Below, I share three effective strategiesย in the hopes that you, too, can become Narc-free and regain your abilityย to speak in complete sentences.
1.ย No Contact
Thereโs no way of getting around this one.ย In most cases, the overt Narc wonโt leave you alone because youโve left lines of communication open.ย In this case, youโll need to be the one who blocks them because they likely will not block themselves, unless youโve become an absolute basket-case with no money, no resources, and no hint of emotion left.ย In short, unless youโve become a Zombie.ย After all, even negative supply is better than none in the Narcissistโs mind.ย Theyโve been known to check in simply to incite in their Discards a nuclear meltdown, only to hang up feeling refreshed and invigorated.ย Why leave yourself open for that?
Even if theyโve found new supply, they usually cannot resist knowing that they still have power over you. So, while youโre sitting around with a white-knuckle grip on your phone, waiting for them to send you a text (with three weeks having passed since the last one), they might SMS you with โHeyโ just to see what your reaction will be.ย That doesnโt mean theyโve been looking at engagement rings or anything, it just means their new supply is at work and canโt talk on the phone, but the Narc needs to feed theirย ego a little snack.
Starving theirย ego will force themย to find another source of supply. ย You can do that by going No Contact.
2. ย Show no emotion
Narcs are persistent little critters.ย Sometimes, even when faced with No Contact, they donโt believe you mean it so they may feel inclined to โcalm your anxietiesโ by showing up at your favorite coffee shop, even though itโs 25 miles out of their way.ย In this case, youโll need to reward their efforts by pretending you donโt see them.ย This may trigger them to come over (uninvited) to your table.ย Even then, theyโre not there!
Theyโre counting on the advantage of being in a public placeโฆwhere they believe youโll have no choice but to acknowledge their existence.ย When they initiate a conversation, assume the stanceย of one of the neighboring chairs, remaining completely indifferent to the Narcโs presence.
If they still donโt take the hint, pick up your coffee, exit the coffee shop, and proceed to get in your vehicle and drive away. ย Kind of like one of the characters in The Seventh Sense who can’t see dead people. ย The Narc will begin to wonder if he imagined the whole interaction, which equals instant karma for all their gaslighting attempts. *fist bump*
This may feel uncomfortable for Empathic people, or those who dislike conflict, but itโs important toย remember the reason youโre being forced to behave this way.
3. ย Pretend youโve developed Touretteโs Syndrome
This is especially effective if youโve been submissive and quiet during the relationship.ย If you find yourself forced to engage in conversation with the Narcissist, throw in a few unexpected obscenities, at higher levels of volume than the rest of your response.ย It might look something like this:
โI have a few pieces of #@*%# mail for you.ย Should I have your mail forwarded, or should I #@*%# or #@*%# ?ย (This should be done without changing your facial expression).
If the first two steps donโt send the Narcissist packing, this last one surely will.ย Giving them the impression that you no longer have control over your speech should put to rest any remaining agendas they may have for blame-shifting and gaslighting. ย They won’t realize youโve simply adopted one of their behaviors.
Listen toย this article on YouTube & Sign Up Below for your healing toolkit!