healing emotional trauma

The Illusion of Healing Emotional Trauma: Why Freebies and Videos Aren’t Enough

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In a world where instant gratification and quick fixes seem to dominate our lives, the idea of healing emotional trauma can often be oversimplified. We’re bombarded with offers of freebies, self-help videos, and quick solutions to our deepest wounds. While these resources can offer temporary relief or a fleeting sense of comfort, healing emotional trauma is not as simple as watching a few self-help videos or collecting freebies from the internet.

In this article, we’ll explore why relying solely on freebies and watching videos is not enough for healing emotional trauma or experiencing true transformation. Instead, we’ll delve into the importance of taking meaningful action and implementing changes in your routine to truly address and overcome emotional scars in a lasting way.

The Deceptive Appeal of Freebies and Videos

Before we dive into the deeper aspects of emotional healing, let’s understand why freebies and videos are so tempting for those struggling with emotional trauma. In an age of information abundance, anyone can access a multitude of self-help materials at the click of a button. From e-books and worksheets to motivational videos and webinars, the internet is saturated with resources that promise to provide answers to life’s most challenging questions.

  1. Instant Gratification: Freebies and videos offer immediate gratification. You can download a free e-book or watch a video and feel like you’re making progress without expending much effort or doing anything different.
  2. Low Commitment: They require minimal commitment. You don’t have to invest your time, money, or energy into attending therapy sessions or engaging in deeper self-reflection.  It also gives you an easy out.  If you don’t make any real progress, it feels like you haven’t lost anything. There’s a lack of accountability that can keep you in a self-defeating loop.
  3. The Illusion of Progress: Consuming self-help content often gives the illusion of progress. You might feel better temporarily, but this feeling can be misleading, as it often doesn’t translate into long-lasting healing.  After the initial feelings of novelty wear off, you find yourself looking for more freebies and watching more videos.  But without integrating any of the information into your life which equals no real change or transformation. This is largely why you see so many people exclaiming that they haven’t healed after years of being free from abusive relationships. 

Why Healing Requires More Than Passive Consumption

Emotional trauma is deeply ingrained in our psyche. It stems from various life experiences, such as childhood trauma, abusive relationships, or significant losses. The process of healing emotional trauma involves acknowledging, processing, and ultimately integrating these experiences into one’s life in a healthier way. Passive consumption of freebies and videos, while helpful to some extent, falls short of achieving these objectives for several reasons:

1 – Superficial Comfort vs. True Healing: Freebies, self-help videos, and Tiktoks can provide a sense of temporary comfort or distraction from emotional pain. They may offer quick tips for managing anxiety, improving self-esteem, or coping with grief. However, these resources often focus on surface-level solutions, addressing symptoms rather than the underlying causes of emotional trauma.

Imagine a person who’s struggling with the aftermath of a toxic relationship. They might watch videos on self-love and receive free downloadable worksheets on building self-esteem. While these resources can offer momentary relief and boost their mood, they do not address the deeper wounds left by the toxic relationship. True healing requires delving into the root causes of trauma and working through them.

2 – The Limitations of Passive Consumption: Passively consuming self-help content, whether it’s in the form of videos or free downloadable resources, can create a sense of false progress. Watching a motivational video may briefly inspire you, but without active implementation of the lessons learned, its impact is limited and perhaps non-existent.

Healing emotional trauma demands more than just passive consumption; it requires active engagement and participation. It’s like learning to swim by watching videos about swimming but never actually getting into the water. You can gain knowledge and insight from videos, but the real transformation happens when you put that knowledge into practice.

3 – Temporary Relief: Passive consumption may provide temporary relief, but it often masks underlying issues without addressing them directly. Emotional pain has a way of resurfacing when left unattended.

The Role of Action in Healing Emotional Trauma

To truly heal emotional trauma, action is imperative. Healing is not a passive process; it requires you to take charge of your recovery. Here’s how action plays a pivotal role in the healing journey:

  1. Seeking Outside Help: The first and perhaps most crucial step is to seek outside support. Therapists, counselors, and life coaches are trained to guide you through the healing process effectively. Their expertise helps you navigate your trauma and develop healthier coping mechanisms. It might take several visits with different professionals before you find the one who can truly help you.
  2. Embracing Vulnerability: Healing involves opening up and being vulnerable. It requires you to confront painful memories, emotions, and beliefs. This level of self-exploration is not possible through freebies and videos alone.
  3. Establishing Healthy Habits: Healing often entails breaking free from detrimental routines and adopting healthier habits. This could mean exercising regularly, practicing mindfulness, or developing a stronger social support system.  It also means that you stop spending hours every day consuming videos, as real healing doesn’t happen until you start taking inspired action and changing self-sabotaging habits.
  4. Processing Emotions: Healing is about acknowledging and processing your emotions in a healthy manner. Rather than suppressing or numbing your feelings, you learn to understand them and respond constructively.
  5. Setting Realistic Goals: Healing is a gradual process, and setting realistic goals is essential. Don’t expect to overcome deep emotional trauma overnight. Break your healing journey into manageable steps, celebrate your progress, and be patient with yourself along the way.

Changing Your Routine: A Key Component of Healing

Apart from taking specific actions, changing your daily routine is a vital aspect of healing from emotional trauma. Our routines often reinforce patterns of behavior and thought that may have contributed to the trauma in the first place. Here’s how altering your routine can aid in the healing process:

  1. Break the Cycle: Trauma can create negative thought patterns and behaviors that become ingrained in our daily routines. Changing your routine disrupts these patterns and allows for the creation of healthier habits. For example, although it can feel impossible to get out of bed sometimes, you might consider taking advantage of your downtime by listening to guided meditations or watching feel-good movies.  But, keep in mind that if you find yourself right back to watching videos about narcissists and toxic relationships, this can greatly hamper your progress.
  2. Cultivate Self-Care: Prioritizing self-care is essential for healing. Allocate time in your routine for activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. This can include exercise, meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature.  Or, simply hanging out with your pet or sitting outside on your porch with some hot tea. 
  3. Create Safe Spaces: Your physical environment plays a significant role in your emotional well-being. Rearrange your surroundings to create a safe, calming, and supportive space where you can process your trauma without distractions.
  4. Build a Support Network: Healing often involves seeking support from friends, family, or support groups. Adjusting your routine to spend more time with those who uplift and encourage you can be incredibly therapeutic.  But, be careful not to regularly trauma dump on your support network.  Make it a habit to ask if they’re in a place to hear your struggles or offer support.  People have things going on in their own lives, and it’s good to be mindful that they might be going through hard times themselves.
  5. Practice Mindfulness: Incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine helps you stay present, reduce anxiety, and gain a deeper understanding of your emotions and triggers.

Challenges on the Healing Journey

While changing routines and taking action are essential components of healing from emotional trauma, it’s important to acknowledge the challenges one may face along the way:

  1. Resistance to Change: Humans are creatures of habit, and changing routines can be met with resistance. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it’s crucial to persevere.  Be mindful of when you find yourself defaulting to old habits. 
  2. Patience is Key: Healing is not a linear process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t expect overnight results.
  3. Professional Guidance: While self-help is valuable, you might find it helpful to find someone to help you on your healing journey.  This can range from finding a therapist who specializes in abusive relationships to working with a spiritual healer or reiki practitioner. 
  4. Relapses are Normal: Healing often involves setbacks and relapses. These are normal parts of the journey, and they should not be viewed as failures.


In a world filled with the promise of quick fixes and easy solutions, it’s vital to recognize that healing from emotional trauma is a profound and ongoing process. Freebies and videos can serve as helpful supplements, but they should not be the sole means of addressing deep-seated wounds. True healing requires more than passive consumption of information; it demands active engagement, self-reflection, and meaningful changes in your routine.

Healing is a journey that requires your active participation and commitment, and it is a journey well worth taking for the sake of your mental and emotional health.

Shifting the focus from a toxic or indifferent partner to yourself is a crucial step in healing from toxic relationship dynamics. It empowers you to take control of your own life and work on your emotional well-being.  If you know that rising out of fear and pain and into healing and happiness is something that you dearly want, I’m inviting you to take on this journey, with me beside you, just as I and thousands of other Thrivers have.

Get Started On The Stages of Emotional Healing 

If there were one thing I wish I could tell every person about healing, it would be that you can have it. 

Even if you don’t reach what you think is 100% “being healed,” life can transform in ways you can’t imagine from where it is now.

The Break Free Program is my most popular program—no toxic positivity. No fluff. Just deep principles of recovery.

Join Break Free and heal, reconnect with yourself, and fearlessly detach from the grip of narcissistic control.

Just click the link to join:

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