If you’ve experienced the agony of narcissistic abuse, you’d probably agree that the devaluation stage carried out by the narcissist is one of the elements that caused the most damage.
After all, love is the most sought-after human need. So, when you receive overwhelming love and acceptance, it’s very hard to analyze the reasons ‘why’ for fear of losing what you’d desperately been longing for, perhaps your whole life.
Admittedly, it’s hard to resist. The love bombing phase was like nothing you’d ever experienced. You met this unique, charming individual and the chemistry was almost instant. Before long, you were receiving constant calls and text messages, gifts, flowers, invites to meet their family, requests to move in together, and the splashing of your social media with cutesy, flirty messages.
Finally, you found someone who accepted you for who you are. Your hopes, dreams, and wishes were not just acknowledged, but embraced unconditionally. It was a relief to be with someone who saw the real you.
You opened yourself up to this person, layer-by-layer, allowing them into your authentic essence, your soul. You no longer had to pretend to fit into society’s norms.
At last, you could shed all pretenses and be your true self. The joy of this liberation was empowering, and you felt a new sense of confidence and freedom.
You were self-actualized for the first time in your life, realizing your maximum potential.
Perhaps, at long last, you delved into art or music…or were so inspired by your rapid spiritual growth that you booked that exotic vacation which, until you met your soulmate, you never thought you’d summon the courage to do.
Life was magical, mystical. You felt your soul soaring to new heights. Those little quirks you were too embarrassed to share with anyone else were cute – sexy, even – to your new partner.
You finally had someone who loved Every. Single. Thing. About. You.
…and, at long last, you could love everything about yourself, as well. For the first time in your life, you’d fallen in love with yourself!
Another human saw the special spark inside of you, and it was finally safe to love yourself. No more playing small.
You were YOU, and no one could take that away. You thought love would last forever.
Until…
After your soul-mate wholly cherished you, they began to slowly pick apart everything little thing that made you distinctive.
They blamed, accused, and scoffed at you until you felt worthless. They meticulously cultivated feelings of embarrassment and shame in you.
They bruised your heart in a place where nothing could heal.
Why…why did they once love all of your little idiosyncrasies, only to hate you for them later?
In turn, you began to hate all the things you’d finally loved about yourself and about life.
Where you’d once felt happy with your freckles and crooked smile, you saw blemishes and a clownish sneer. Your violet eyes, once bright and hopeful, became sad and empty. You cut your flaxen hair and dyed it black.
The accomplishments you realized gradually meant nothing. Your favorite hobbies – once cradles of fulfillment and delight – became sources of disharmony and you loathed them.
You covered your art, turned down the lid on your piano, sold your rare sculptures, and burned your charcoal sketches.
The flowers in your garden withered and died.
To your children, friends, and beloved pets, you became a ghost, an empty shell, the walking dead.
You stopped going out. You no longer felt welcome in the world. You wanted to erase yourself. You cursed the stars and scorned the sun. You wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.
This is the true tragedy of the fall of the love bombing phase – You fell out of love with yourself.
And remember the tinman
Found he had what he thought he lacked
Remember the tinman
Go find your heart and take it back
~Tracy Chapman
How to Begin Recovering From the Devaluation Stage
The THRIVE program is a powerful journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and ultimate soul rejuvenation. If you’ve been neglecting your own needs for too long, if you’ve given everything to others but forgotten yourself, this program is tailor-made for you.
𓃦 What THRIVE Offers You:
🌿 Healing Your Soul Wounds: Be guided through a process of deep emotional healing, helping you mend the wounds inflicted by toxic relationships.
🌿 Rediscovering Self-Love: Learn to love and nurture yourself, reconnect with your inner strength, and regain the self-esteem that you once thought was lost forever.
🌿 Empowerment and Resilience: THRIVE will equip you with the tools and strategies to break free from the cycle of self-abandonment and build resilience, ensuring you never compromise your well-being for anyone else again.
+ so much more!
𓃦 It’s Your Time to THRIVE:
No more feeling trapped in a cycle of self-neglect and toxic relationships. You deserve a life filled with love, self-acceptance, and personal fulfillment. The THRIVE program is your chance to rewrite your story, rediscover your worth, and live the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Don’t let your past define your future. Seize this opportunity to heal your wounds and emerge stronger, happier, and more empowered than ever before.
Join THRIVE and embark on a journey towards a brighter, more fulfilling future. Your soul deserves to shine.
Copyright 2019. Kim Saeed
