Narcissist La La Land

Destination Misery – A Short Story

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The brochure shows a beautiful, lush vacation resort.  Stunning, blue waters caress white-sand beaches.  The five-star hotel looks comfortable and accommodating with smiling staff ready to cater to your every whim.  You buy the ticket, pack your bags and catch a taxi to the airport.

The stewardesses greet you with warm smiles, take your bags and escort you to your seat.  At once, you are asked your choice of cocktail and offered a scrumptious snack.  Shortly after, the plane takes off and you close your eyes, imagining what life will be like when you arrive at your scenic destination.

But before touching down, there is terrible turbulence.  You realize the cabin crew is nowhere to be seen.  You look through the window…the place at which you’ve arrived is nothing like what you believed.  The plane comes to a screeching halt and you walk feebly toward the exit.  You get to the door and stop, not wanting to exit the plane.  You want to go back home, but you purchased a one-way ticket.

Feeling lonely and isolated, you begin to scorn yourself.  You’ve been here many times, and each time you are fooled by false advertising; the old bait-and-switch.  You force yourself to exit the plane and go blindly into the desolate wilderness, wondering how you’ll get back home this time…

This metaphorical tale is what life is like with a narcissistic individual.

Recovery involves rewriting everything the narcissist has tried to make you believe. It requires rebuilding your identity – or in many cases building an identity for the first time.  You need a narcissistic abuse recovery program that can help you avoid relapse by learning about yourself, your habits, and your triggers.

The Break Free Program may be the missing piece of the puzzle. 

I know what you’re going through and I’m here to help. Learn more about the course and see what my students and neuroscience experts have to say about it.

Copyright 2022 Kim Saeed

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16 comments
Tammy says December 30, 2016

Before I said yes to my husband, I informed him I had herpes simplex 2, he pondered on it for 2weeks and then he said he still wanted to get married. After a few months into the marriage he became very aggressive and angry towards me…when I confronted him about his anger , he said he thought it was out of him. So I walkedon eggshells for months until one day he threatened to harm me. When I discussed leaving him he said this marriage is for better or for worse…he said accepted herpes. So how are you going to bail out . I said you threatened my life…you said your temper was your past… therefore he feels I should accept his behavior since he accepted herpes? How do I handle this response???

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Touching You~ Leo Buscaglia And I | Simple Pleasures says June 17, 2014

[…] Destination Misery […]

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Lynette d'Arty-Cross says May 22, 2014

This is an excellent analogy and simply stated but this is exactly what happened to me, too. Good post! 🙂

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kimberlyharding says May 22, 2014

so very true. Thank you for this reminder, as I was struggling today to step in and “try again” or hold my own ground.

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    Kim Saeed says May 22, 2014

    Thank you for sharing, Kimberly! You can do this! <3

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      Tammy says December 30, 2016

      It has been a month for me not having contact…the thought of contact gives me anxiety! Thank you so much Kim for no contact questionnaire!

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Chey Being says May 22, 2014

I’ve seen a few posts lately regarding this topic. I shy away from them because I am afraid I am married to a narcissist. I had never given it any thought until someone recently called him that. I can’t seem to believe it’s true, probably because my husband tells me everything is my fault. I could really relate to your post, although I more often feel like I’ve been transported to Mars because nothing makes sense to me! Beautiful and powerful imagery.

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    Kim Saeed says May 22, 2014

    Chey, thank you for stopping by and for sharing. Whether or not your husband is a Narcissist doesn’t really matter, but how he makes you feel does. Just listen to your heart. You will eventually find your way back home 🙂

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anupturnedsoul says May 22, 2014

Reblogged this on An Upturned Soul and commented:
A stunning post about Narcissists and their ways, but also a philosophical insight into our own ways.

Our hopes are often beautiful dreams which inspire us and get us through tough times… and sometimes they get us into those tough times.

Awareness is a part of our personal power, awareness of others and of ourselves, so we can enjoy our dreams, take a holiday to the destination they offer us, without losing ourselves and finding that the beautiful dream is actually an advert for a nightmare.

Thank you for sharing, Kim, your blog is a wonderful oasis!

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betternotbroken says May 22, 2014

Been there. A five star resort on my honeymoon that I paid for – in more ways than one. Another person told me once that hope is your enemy when it comes to living with a narcissist. Thanks again for your help on the healing journey out of hell.

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    Kim Saeed says May 22, 2014

    BNB,

    Thank you for sharing that. It’s true, hope CAN be our worst enemy, but only if we stay. Alternately, hope can also be our savior, such as when our hope leads us to leave our abuser in search of healing and happiness. You can have all of that, just keep putting one foot in front of the other <3

    Kim

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Steve Lakey says May 18, 2014

This is a striking analogy, Kim. I think we generally know the destination when we buy the ticket. But we often fool ourselves that we’re heading somewhere much nicer. Sometimes it’s better to cut your losses and try for a refund.

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Jennifer S says May 18, 2014

Exactly. What a deeply powerful analogy.

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cuckquean kitten says May 17, 2014

It didnt occur to me that i was with a narcissist. With him 14 years, and 7 of them (beginning) were pretty decent. Of course, i gave him everything he needed, and why would he be ugly towards me? the moment he stopped getting the same treatment, my HELL began.
While i have been a kinky person all my life, i didnt equate with cuckquean until 5 years ago. And i think that i became that way, as a coping mechanism. If only i had been wise enough before all this HELL began.
Thank you for the analogy. Very accurate!

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happinessweekly says May 17, 2014

Kim this is outstanding! What a fantastic way of describing the feelings we go through after being duped by a narcissist! Everyone should see this. I’ll share it later down the line. 🙂 Well done!!

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armyofangels2013 says May 17, 2014

It took several times of agreeing to “try again”, before I realized that it was to be more of the same-only each time, I was the only one working harder to make things better-work harder, cook better, clean better, give him attention at every snap of the fingers…goodness…

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