Destination Misery – A Short Story

Before I said yes to my husband, I informed him I had herpes simplex 2, he pondered on it for 2weeks and then he said he still wanted to get married. After a few months into the marriage he became very aggressive and angry towards me…when I confronted him about his anger , he said he thought it was out of him. So I walkedon eggshells for months until one day he threatened to harm me. When I discussed leaving him he said this marriage is for better or for worse…he said accepted herpes. So how are you going to bail out . I said you threatened my life…you said your temper was your past… therefore he feels I should accept his behavior since he accepted herpes? How do I handle this response???

[…] Destination Misery […]

This is an excellent analogy and simply stated but this is exactly what happened to me, too. Good post! 🙂

so very true. Thank you for this reminder, as I was struggling today to step in and “try again” or hold my own ground.

I’ve seen a few posts lately regarding this topic. I shy away from them because I am afraid I am married to a narcissist. I had never given it any thought until someone recently called him that. I can’t seem to believe it’s true, probably because my husband tells me everything is my fault. I could really relate to your post, although I more often feel like I’ve been transported to Mars because nothing makes sense to me! Beautiful and powerful imagery.

Reblogged this on An Upturned Soul and commented:
A stunning post about Narcissists and their ways, but also a philosophical insight into our own ways.

Our hopes are often beautiful dreams which inspire us and get us through tough times… and sometimes they get us into those tough times.

Awareness is a part of our personal power, awareness of others and of ourselves, so we can enjoy our dreams, take a holiday to the destination they offer us, without losing ourselves and finding that the beautiful dream is actually an advert for a nightmare.

Thank you for sharing, Kim, your blog is a wonderful oasis!

Been there. A five star resort on my honeymoon that I paid for – in more ways than one. Another person told me once that hope is your enemy when it comes to living with a narcissist. Thanks again for your help on the healing journey out of hell.

This is a striking analogy, Kim. I think we generally know the destination when we buy the ticket. But we often fool ourselves that we’re heading somewhere much nicer. Sometimes it’s better to cut your losses and try for a refund.

Exactly. What a deeply powerful analogy.

It didnt occur to me that i was with a narcissist. With him 14 years, and 7 of them (beginning) were pretty decent. Of course, i gave him everything he needed, and why would he be ugly towards me? the moment he stopped getting the same treatment, my HELL began.
While i have been a kinky person all my life, i didnt equate with cuckquean until 5 years ago. And i think that i became that way, as a coping mechanism. If only i had been wise enough before all this HELL began.
Thank you for the analogy. Very accurate!

Kim this is outstanding! What a fantastic way of describing the feelings we go through after being duped by a narcissist! Everyone should see this. I’ll share it later down the line. 🙂 Well done!!

It took several times of agreeing to “try again”, before I realized that it was to be more of the same-only each time, I was the only one working harder to make things better-work harder, cook better, clean better, give him attention at every snap of the fingers…goodness…