Stalking Can Take Mental Toll on Victims, Study Confirms

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Of the many harassing behaviors that victims of Narcissistic abuse endure, stalking is perhaps one of the worst.  Although not exhaustive, the following are some of the more common effects that victims of stalking experience:

* Effects on mental health

  • Denial, confusion, self-doubt, questioning if what is happening is unreasonable, wondering if they are over-reacting
  • Frustration
  • Guilt, embarrassment, self-blame
  • Apprehension, fear, terror of being alone or that they, others or pets will be harmed.
  • Feeling isolated and helpless to stop the harassment
  • Depression (all symptoms related to depression)
  • Anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia (frightened to leave the house, never feeling safe)
  • Inability to sleep – nightmares, ruminating
  • Irritability, anger, homicidal thoughts
  • Emotional numbing
  • Symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress disorder e.g. hypervigilance (always on the lookout), flashbacks of frightening incidents, easily startled
  • Personality changes due to becoming more suspicious, introverted or aggressive
  • Suicide thoughts and/or suicide attempts

* Effects on physical health

  • Fatigue from difficulty sleeping, being constantly on guard, symptoms of depression
  • Effects of chronic stress including headaches, hypertension
  • Gastrointestinal problems
  • Fluctuations in weight due to not eating or comfort eating
  • Development or exacerbation of pre-existing conditions e.g. asthma, gastric ulcers and psoriasis.
  • Dizziness
  • Shortness of breath
  • Heart palpitations and sweating

* Taken from

Enduring Narcissistic abuse is detrimental to both the mind and body.  Many non-victims would be unable to tolerate one of a Narc’s criminal behaviors, yet victims of Narc abuse have to endure several simultaneously.

On a personal note, I have stopped working outside the home due to repeated stalking over a period of several years.  Have you been stalked by your Narcissistic partner or Ex?  Were you told by friends or loved ones to simply brush it off?  Share your story below.

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Anonymous says May 23, 2017

I met a guy online. Very handsome and I was lonely. Hooked up a few times then I found out he was released from a 20 years in prison just two years ago. I felt bad for him and was being supportive of his efforts to get a degree and change his life. Then my neighbor reported seeing a woman I don’t know enter my house while I was out with him. Then I started checking him out online and realized he had a girlfriend. He was using me to make her jealous. I broke it off. He and his girlfriend have been stalking me ever since. He is obsessed with me and makes fake profiles to stalk me and feeds creepy things into my pinterest pages. Now I’m hypervigelant and anxious constantly checking everything….

imnotyourfavoritepossession says October 19, 2013

Oh, how I wish I could edit that ‘accept’ into ‘except.’

    Kim Raya says October 20, 2013

    LOL…Don’t worry, happens to me all the time 🙂

imnotyourfavoritepossession says October 19, 2013

Other than the soreness in left shoulder, I never connected any of my psychological or physical issues to my spouse.

Accept I did! I just felt guilty and ridiculous for it. Then I forgot about it.

I wonder if my tendon issues could have anything to do with her? Probably not, it would just be awesome if they cleared up suddenly. 😀

Also, I never realized I suffer from agoraphobia before. Add one more to the list.

Have I been stalked? I’ve been spied on a lot, especially when I tried to leave the relationship. I’ve had friends brush off her behavior when I mentioned the death threats, manipulative tactics, and controlling behavior. Usually, they turn it back on me: have you stood up to her? have you talked to her about it? Then again, I’ve also habitually brushed it off when friends and family have called her behavior into question.

    Kim Raya says October 20, 2013

    When we internalize our stress, all sorts of things can go haywire. including muscular and joint pain.

    Being spied on…does that include knowing when you are and aren’t home? Have you checked your pc and cell phone for spyware? Has she ever shown up out of nowhere while you were working or had an acquaintance do it for her? Those are all stalking behaviors.

    I realized I’d developed anxiety/agoraphobia issues when my Ex came back from out of the country unexpectedly and I had a sudden “need” to stay inside my apartment. He stalked me unmercifully before he left.

    It’s a lonely situation, especially when friends or family ask you what you’ve said to the the Narc about the situation, as if you’d ever get a civilized response.

    Sounds like you’ve got some very similar issues to mine…even though we’ve been divorced for a year and a half, I’m still not free.

      imnotyourfavoritepossession says October 20, 2013

      I am only able to sneak in to comment on the weekends, so please forgive the short response.

      I may have been careless re my use of home computer and cell phone. I am not savvy about these things. I figure the harm is done now. So far, so good. Still alive.

      You are doing really well for a year and a half. I’m sure the healing will continue over time. Thanks again and kudos for your outreach here. You’re doing people like me a major service.

        Kim Raya says October 20, 2013

        It is my wish to help those in your situation, so any encouragement I can give makes it all worth it.

        Thank you for your kind words. Although it’s been a year and a half, I’m still not completely free. I still have to deal with the lies, stalking, spying, interference, and attempts to violate the custody order. There’s also the possibility that he could take my child overseas….so, I still struggle, but I hope through helping others, I can stay strong…

          imnotyourfavoritepossession says October 20, 2013

          That’s a terrifying scenario.

          What we are ultimately willing to risk for our children, up to and including losing them, is a testament to the power of love. May the deity(ies) of your choice support you along the way.

          Kim Raya says October 20, 2013

          Thank you…

bhmassage says October 19, 2013

Holy cow. The more I read your posts the more I think you might know my ex! So glad I walked away when I did. Great education here! Wish I had it when I was with him. I might have gotten out a lot sooner.

    Kim Raya says October 20, 2013

    Thanks for your comment. Wish I’d known better, as well. I didn’t really know about Narcissists or their “special” brand of behaviors until after I’d left. Now it’s my mission to educate and help others become aware…I’m sorry you had the same experience, but thank goodness we’re out.

      bhmassage says October 20, 2013

      Absolutely! Growing & moving on 🙂

Susan Irene Fox says October 19, 2013

Kim, thank you for your continuing education about this. Am forwarding your blogs to my best friend, who has two kids who are affected by her narcissist ex. Bless you.

    Kim Raya says October 19, 2013

    Susan, comments like this are what keep me going. If I can help just one person get their freedom back, it will all be worth it. Thank you.

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