Relationship Red Flags You Need To Pay Attention To

Sharing is caring

Unhealthy and abusive relationships are far more common than most people realize. A recent study found that nearly 33% of Americans will be involved in at least one toxic relationship in their lives. In most cases, there will be tons of warning signs in the beginning phases of a bad relationship. The worst mistake you can make when these signs surface is ignoring them. 

Trusting your gut instinct can result in becoming entangled in a relationship with a person who is narcissistic and toxic. This is why you need to take action as soon as warning signs surface. Here are some relationship red flags you definitely need to pay attention to. 

Constantly Badmouthing Past Relationships

There are a number of reasons why relationships don’t work out. In most cases, adults can put their differences aside and dissolve a relationship without toxicity. However, a narcissist will not be able to let go of the fact that a past relationship didn’t work out. This will usually surface in their new relationships because they will constantly badmouth their past boyfriends or girlfriends. 

You need to realize that if a person has something negative to say about all of their past relationships, it could be an indication that they are the problem. If they label every one of their exes as “crazy” or “dysfunctional,” you need to be wary of dating this person. In most cases, this is an indication that they are a toxic person and that they will be nothing but trouble. 

Overly-Critical Out of the Gate

During your first few dates with a potential romantic interest, you can get a feel for what they are really like. In most cases, a person will be on their best behavior on the first date. However, this veneer can start to wear off after date three or four. Is a new romantic interest being overly critical of your life choices, career, weight or other touchy subjects? If you answered yes, then you need to realize this is a big red flag. 

A person that is overly critical of your right out of the gate will only get worse as time goes by. The last thing you want is for your self-confidence and mental health to take a hit by dating a person with this trait. This is why you need to leave a relationship if the person is unfairly critical of you. 

Your Friends and Family Members Don’t Like Your New Romantic Interest

The average person has a group of trusted friends and family members they can rely on for emotional support. Letting a new romantic interest meet these important people is a big step. If one or more of the people in your inner circle get a bad feeling from the person you are currently in a relationship with; you need to take their feedback seriously. In some cases, these people detect a character flaw in a new romantic interest before you do. Listening to them can save you a world of hurt and emotional anguish. 

If you have detected one or more of the red flags mentioned in this article, you need to take action and get away from your new romantic interest. 


Sharing is caring

Leave a Comment:

5 comments
M says May 25, 2025

I think another one can be if they start trying to control aspects of your self-expression or things that make you happy.
The main way they do this is trying to dictate what you wear. Or making comments like how you better not ever have a tattoo, or whatever it is they have a problem with.

I have dated some abusive men in the past who criticized my clothing. Unfortunately, I also ended up marrying one with these same tendencies.
There is nothing wrong with how I present myself…which I now realize, and this is one way you can identify when a person is attempting to abuse or control you.

My husband has repeatedly criticized my outfits and most recently, he tried to convince me to throw away (!!!) a gorgeous dress, just because another man complimented it. When a person starts to tell you to change parts of yourself to fit their standards, that is a red flag.
Do not cater to their need for control and subjugation. It is proof that they don’t truly want a healthy loving relationship with you. They want you to bend to their will.

So for me, the main one is if they try to control your appearance/weight/clothing. Another is if they attempt to isolate you. They might insist that you cut off contact with anyone who can offer you comfort or a way out.
They might make you block a friend, or they engineer situations that make it impossible for you to have community with others.
Or if they hinder you from making decisions for yourself like taking a class, pursuing a job, having a baby (or not, if you choose), your medical care, etc…it’s a red flag when they control your life to this extent.

I had to stand my ground with my husband when he insisted that I throw out clothes I like.
People who care for you don’t try to control you, nor do they make unreasonable demands to kill your confidence and remove all agency.

Reply
Suzy says January 30, 2022

I live in a state with “at will” employment – either employer or employee can end the relationship for any reason at any time with or without cause. Sounds harsh, and it doesn’t really work as it’s written, but I’m at the point where I’ll probably be an asexual, at-will dater for a while. lol

Reply
thekarkar says December 26, 2021

Lying , even if its just a lot of little white lies usually means you are dealing with not only a toxic person but an abusive one, even devious.

Reply
Anonymous says October 16, 2021

I think another very important red flag is catching them in lies. When you know exactly what they told you about a situation & then they tell you something else. Lying is a huge red flag!!!! Anyone who is comfortable lying on a regular basis about stuff there’s no need to, I say run for the hills!!!

Reply
Jenifer says October 12, 2021

I have recently fallen victim to yet another narcissistic personality. I swear I am starting to wonder If I have a bat signal so to speak for narcs to come find me. I am a very caring and feeling Individual and always seem to fall victim into the deceit of it all. Feeling sorry for them or wanting to provide comfort to another. I am not wanting this to continue to be a pattern for my life. I am involved in many groups and recieve counsel for this issue. But it just doesn’t seem to change things. I even have been tested by different therapists to make sure I wasn’t the problem. That I wasnt in fact the narcissist. And thank heavens I was proven not to have the traits. And only due to the abuses I have recieved from these individuals …that I have begun to gain those unfortunate characteristics that they run into you like its lotion. Making you feel the need to defend everything, to feel inferior or unlovable. To feel the need to protect and explain everything that happens in life. And the constant eating away at the whole relationship and how it panned out…trying to figure out why….its genuinely chaotic and destructive to everything you ever thought you were…or could be. Getting back to being me has been so hard. Because honestly I hardly remember who that was…and it hurt being her. But I’m taking one day at a time and hopefully with a lil prayer and a lil tenacity…I’ll be able to see me once more. Thank you for all your help in helping inform people like myself that have just been through so much and are trying so hard to make sense of it all and move forward. I just really wish I could take a gander into that magical mystical 8ball to see what a “normal” relationship could ever look like. And some tips on how to keep these type people out of my life. Some of them have gotten really good at being who they are.. they been lying all their lives..their good at it. Too good! ?

Reply
Add Your Reply