living your smile

Are you living your smile…or just wearing it?

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~ by Lolisha GLT Chaney

The difference between wearing a smile and living a smile, is depth. 

It takes minimal effort to wear a smile – simply applying it to your face as one would apply makeup.  Wearing a smile can be ‘made up’.  It can be inauthentic, incongruent with the song of your soul.  Many smiling faces have committed suicide.  Just like wearing a smile can be put on, it can be easily taken off. 

Life has unique complexities that tend to overthrow smile appliqué.

To live a smile is to be fastened to reality and grounded in truth.  The truth of how you feel.  The truth in uncovering unresolved emotional pain and acknowledging frustrations.  The truth of owning the full spectrum of your emotions and allowing them to flow freely through the echo chambers of your heart.  Free to express the beautiful dichotomy of life: beauty and pain. 

This smile can never be stripped because it was never applied.  It comes from within, it is expressed.  It is the natural state of your heart, before those ‘unique complexities’ got to it.  It is confidence that I can ‘be’ as I am.  I can cry when I’m sad, I can allow myself to feel anger and disappointment, I can give myself permission to feel.

The freedom to feel is the freedom to purify the fountain of your heart.  Through a natural process of introspection and acceptance, all that impedes the truest smile within is drawn up and out, leaving crystal clear rivers of inner peace, clarity, and joy (aka your living smile).  

The first step to your living smile is recognizing the absence of joy…

The first step to smiling from your soul is identifying and allowing unpleasant emotions to express themselves (ideally in a constructive way). This is most important because suppressed pain will block your shine, every time.  Suppressed pain (I use this as a collective term to describe the spectrum of unpleasant emotions) has a way of seeping into every atom of your existence.

This is not the case with liberated pain. What I have discovered in my own journey is that the ugliest emotions, when I acknowledge, accept, and allow them to be expressed, are just visiting.

Think of this process like a friend meeting you for coffee to vent. To vent is literally to discharge and expel. Venting (liberating emotion) relieves your soul. When you’ve relieved yourself of the pressing or buried emotional issue, you now have room to emanate your sunshine.

Here’s some good news: You don’t have to complete this phase before enjoying the benefit! You don’t need to get your whole life together before you can smile from your soul.

All you need to do is begin. As you begin to uncover suppressed emotions you will start gaining bandwidth giving the smile that lives within you, room to come through.

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About the Author

Lolisha Chaney is a freelance writer and inspirational speaker from the San Francisco Bay Area, CA.  As a depression survivor, she draws upon the wealth of knowledge gained from her journey to emotional wholeness.  Lolisha has accepted the call to a higher lifestyle with a focus on helping others by telling her story with refreshing candor that resonates with the human experience.  This work is used to inspire others to remodel their lives from the inside-out; getting life together, one thought at a time.


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karen says October 12, 2021

Sadly I think you smile because it is possibly about holding onto what ever pride you have left. A smile maybe is the one thing they can’t take away from you. Pride and snobbery their lack of logic gives way to jealousy of pride because they don’t have any themselves due to lack insecurity that pride gives so they will criticize strip you of it. So sadly all you will have left is the smile that sadly is seen as fake on both sides the abuser and the abused. A fake relationship between both partners.

Anonymous says November 17, 2020

Living w a narcissist is hard. Each & every day I see a walking ball of meanness & ugliness. I look @ the person & get sick to my stomach, all the time. Thanks for your articles. Knowledge is power.

Jon Rhodes says October 30, 2020

Totally agree! We have negative emotions for a reason. And we shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed by them. They are you mind’s way of telling you something is wrong. If we suppress them then we can’t do anything about them. Unfortunately, a lot of society’s norms tell us to hide them.

No emotion is wrong. The only thing that can be wrong is how we act on them. But we must acknowledge our true feelings, because they’re there to help us. And like you say, if you acknowledge a negative feeling, it will soon pass through. Allowing you to genuinely smile again.

    Lolisha GLT says February 26, 2021

    Bingo! It hurts me to see how many people have been socialized out of their authentic expression. I think it’s why so many have a hard time healing.

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