It’s depressing when it seems like narcissists are always in positions of power.
There’s no shortage of examples of these toxic individuals holding high public office, and subjecting all of us to their capricious cruelties and brutal decisions made from a position of significant power and low self-awareness.
There’s also no shortage of these individuals being in charge of a household, and running roughshod over the people who have to live with them on a daily basis, or infecting generations with their negative spirit and energy.
The good news is that there are ways to deal with a narcissist. You don’t have to stick with the same old playbook of explosive emotional reaction, fear and trauma, and intractable personal conflict.
Here are some of the basics that we often talk about in dealing with narcissistic personalities and behaviors.
Withhold A Response
In some situations and in some aspects of dealing with a narcissist, detachment goes a long way.
What this looks like is different for each person. It might consist of planning personal activities that take you away from interactions with someone who is toxic, or routines that subdue the dynamic that causes the conflict in the first place.
Whatever it is, this type of ‘disentanglement’(to give the nod to particle physics) can be useful as you deliberately move forward in understanding how to change negative relationships. So can your own personal cultivation of a “zen” mentality. Narcissistic power diminishes with your reactive potency.
The Power of Calm Defiance
Narcissists don’t like to be defied, and any kind of new challenge to their self-absorption is often a wake-up call that can lead to mitigating their behaviors in some way.
It’s important to note, though, that defiance doesn’t always mean direct conflict. In fact, relatively un-emotional responses are often more valuable.
Narcissists are used to generating the same aggressive behavior, and getting the same results. So when the results are suddenly different, it puts them in a position of uncertainty. This can start to loosen up vicious cycles and help them to see the boundaries of their control, which can put you in a position of power.
Flip the Script
As you move forward in trying to change the dynamics, it’s important to flip the script and open up new possibilities. This can be upsetting to the narcissist who’s used to having control and dominance, or not having to consider someone else’s feelings – but it is often vital to your making progress. Safely.
How Do You Flip the Script on the Narcissist?
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