Dating for Abuse Survivors

On a Dating Site? One of the Top Ways to Avoid Users Online

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One question I see floating around on the internet is, “I am on ABC dating site and this guy or gal I just connected with is asking for a full-length body shot.  What should I do?  I don’t want to come across as a prude. Should I go ahead and send them additional, full frontal photos of myself?

Safe Dating for Abuse Survivors

In this era of online dating, it’s important to prepare yourself in a way that helps you avoid manipulators, scammers, schemers, and narcissists.  As such, the one thing you SHOULD be doing is coming across as a prude.  Here’s why…

Generally speaking, there are two main red flags waving when someone you have met online is asking you for a full-length body shot.

1 – It’s an indicator that they have absolutely no interest in your personality or you as a human being

Anyone on the dating sites who asks for a full body shot objectifies people and is forming an opinion about you in the same way they would when scouring the store shelves for a pack of gum.

This is not the request of a high-caliber individual, regardless of what their profile might suggest. 

Here’s the truth… even the most degenerate, useless, and pathetic person can intuitively feel when a dating prospect is showing up with low confidence and is a little too happy to go along with things just to appear agreeable.  

They can sense it from the words you use in your profile and your actions, like sending photos when you already have some on your profile.

People who want full body shots also tend to watch a lot of pornography and they will compare you to the people they’re looking at on porn sites. 

Even if it’s someone you’ve been dating a few months that you met online, don’t fall into a false sense of security and send them additional or risqué photos of yourself.  Why? 

Because this is what often happens…when the relationship sours, they may threaten to set up fake social media profiles of you and post your intimate photos. 

Sadly, this isn’t uncommon and, in some cases, it becomes a harsh reality. They might even share these pictures with your friends or colleagues, making your personal life public in an uncomfortable way.

It’s important to know that you’re not alone in facing such situations. It’s disheartening that some people engage in this behavior, asking for full-body photos from various people online. However, it’s crucial to understand that their request for such pictures doesn’t necessarily mean they’re genuinely interested in you or looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship.

If someone truly wants to get to know you, that’s what dates are for—moments where you can connect on a deeper level. A respectful approach involves mutual understanding and shared experiences rather than asking for personal photos.

Also, pay attention to patterns in your interactions. While coffee dates can be nice, if they always stay casual and never go beyond that, it might raise some concerns. This could mean the person is either managing multiple plans and can’t meet at night, or they might only be interested in a casual connection rather than a meaningful relationship.

Let’s aim to be careful and kind in our interactions, building connections based on mutual respect and genuine interest instead of resorting to hurtful actions or engaging in surface-level encounters.

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2 -Sending someone a full body shot is a REALLY personal thing, even if you’re wearing clothes

Narcissists and other manipulators may ask for full body shots as a way to test if you’re willing to share something personal when you barely know them.

Confident individuals with healthy boundaries usually reject these requests instead of agreeing to send personal photos to someone they’ve just met.

While sending a full-length photo might seem harmless from your perspective, predators online specifically target nice and agreeable people. Narcissists make this request to gauge your boundaries, interpreting your compliance as eagerness for approval and giving them the green light to pursue you as a source of narcissistic supply.

If you already have full-length photos online, it’s not necessary to take them down, but ensure they’re classy and current. For instance, that bikini photo from the Bahamas might not be the best choice for an online dating site, as predators often seek such images.

If someone on your profile requests more full-body photos, take it as a signal to delete and block them. Even if you feel a genuine connection online, requesting a full body shot, especially if you haven’t met in person, is a red flag for potential deception. Don’t fall into the fantasy that sharing these photos will lead to a happily-ever-after scenario – real life doesn’t unfold the way you might imagine.

So, should you send full-body shots to someone online? Unless you’re comfortable with a no-strings-attached hookup, be cautious, as that’s likely the only thing you’ll get from someone who asks for such photos.

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Leave a Comment:

Sophia says January 25, 2020

I have not met a single “normal” guy on any dating site. I would never give any personal info to a stranger. I would never post my photos. A waste of $$$.

Kevin says May 7, 2018

I look forward to all of your emails , and appreciate the help i have received. This is the only one that leaves me scratching my head. As someone who has tried online dating on and off , I would say that yes, these are valid reasons, and should be looked at and considerwd. However , women also ask for full body shots, and often times people are hiding what they look like. I have zero desire for a booty call as this article states. Nor do I objectify or view porn. The problem with online dating is it is used to put your best foot forward, and often this is done with some deception , whether on purpose or by accident . And to build an emotional attachment before meeting. If you plan on meeting someone in person and have good intentions, why not just have a shot of who you are upfront, with friends or whatever. Any thing else seems deceptive , and i have heard and seen it all , from old photos to touch ups and on and on. Save time since you are taking the bold step of putting yourself out there anyway. How about making it so people don’t have to ask for what you look like in the first place. Since this is not an organic way of meeting someone, I think it’s fair to show what we look like , and honest.

    Kim Saeed says May 10, 2018

    Hi Kevin,

    Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

    The article was really meant more as a ‘proceed with caution’. There are a lot of good people on dating sites, but unfortunately, they’re not meeting up with other good people, they’re being targeted by users and abusers.

    I think everyone should have one respectable full-length photo on their profile, but what I’ve seen over and over is abuse survivors being targeted by manipulators and being asked to give more photos of themselves, which the survivor goes along with. Before they know it, they’re caught up in another toxic relationship.

    The persona I wrote about is more the narcissistic manipulator…and they sign up to the free dating sites in DROVES. There truly is risk involved when you sign up for any dating site, but especially the free ones.

    Too, if you’ve been chatting with someone a while and the two of you decide to meet, it does kind of put a weird vibe on the situation if you ask for a full-length photo before meeting, but at the same time, if you don’t you may end up meeting someone who isn’t your cup of tea. So, either way, there is going to be awkwardness involved.

    Obviously, the article doesn’t describe all people who are on dating sites, but since my audience is generally trying to avoid being tricked into another toxic relationship, my articles are more geared toward what to look out for.

    Hope that helps! 🙂


Suzi says May 6, 2018

Thanks for today’s blog. Having been no contact for several years and been able to shake off a few more narcissists since, it’s nice to get these articles. Your reminder to review your profile from the eyes of a narcissist or pervert is so valuable. … My gauge is, if I’m asking the question “Should I?” Then the answer is usually”NO!”. Follow your instincts and value yourself… that’s my mantra these days! Thanks again for all you do!

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