The Narcissist’s Return Cycle

Thank you for this read, it was very clear and precise to my love life however I am glad you did not refer to the narsassist as being a man because I am a male with a female narsassist in my life. I am still trying to make things work after 26 years.

[…] unlike their typical performance of withdrawing from your life only to return later, they don’t want to take the risk of your calling or texting them while they’re out with […]

This is an excellent article:

“In fact, the narcissist brings the childhood wounds that we’ve suppressed from our subconscious minds to the conscious, turning our innermost sufferings into everyday reality”

Thanks Kim – that is it perfectly

[…] unlike their typical performance of withdrawing from your life only to return later, they don’t want to take the risk of your calling or texting them while they’re out with […]

I have recently joined your page, and thankyou for sharing. I can relate to all of of your articles / video’s on narcissists as I discovered I have lived my whole life with a narcissist.. A narcissist is not always your partner.

Talk about “recycling”, I’m posting to support of Kim’s insistence of “no contact”. I have to gulp, and admit I was wrong. I have written other posts leaving the inference that victims can attain a level of knowledge superiority over their adversary to be able to manage their [narcissistic] attempt of reconciliation, using charm, lying, bullying, scheming, etc., but I admit to having been caught in my mode of overconfidence.

I thought I reached a point of infallibility, enough to allow communication with my former “love”, only to discover that I was, again, working for her, and exposing myself to her lies and controls. The key about not recycling with these types is that they will, eventually, turn on us and, proverbially, stab us in the back. We are, or will be, blamed for their acts of irresponsibility and/or ignorance.

To sum this “addendumb” up in short order, I was wrong, Kim. The best advice is yours, which is now mine, and that is to keep our focus for them to “Get out of Dodge and don’t come back!”. We all need to don the badge of Matt Dillon or have Miss Kitty’s steel spine. Narcissists are phonies who will, as boomerangs, come back and hit you where it counts.

As in the closing of the 1983 movie, “War Games”, the computer concludes “the only winning move is not to play”.

This video was absolutely eye opening and information full. Mostly very helpful. Thank you!!

I think this is the best one for getting your point across. I have to say it’s spot on. I’ve lived through all the above mentioned a few times and it’s so easy to stay in the cycle cuz it’s HARD WORK GETTING AND STAYING OUT, & BEING NO CONTACT.

It helps to force yourself to have no emotions regarding them. It helps to watch this and read this article everyday,

You must get it in your Mind that they are laughing at how totally stuck on them each time you sleep with them. There’s tons of guys out in the world for sex. Take your ex off list or it will never end.

Everything you say is exactly true. I have been lured back time and again only to wind up in the same place I started. I guess I am a slow learner. It has taken 13 years to finally realize what has been happening to me in this relationship. Everything is fine for about 2 months and then he would start the same old thing, complaining. I never seem to be enough no matter what I would do. It’s sad to think that someone who says he loves you can treat you like you don’t matter. He was somewhat generous with money, but not emotionally. Too bad.

This video came at a perfect time. I dreamed just last night that I let my ex back into my world only to discover that he cheated on me with another woman. In my dream when I approached him about it, he had a smirk on his face. I woke with a terrible jolt! It’s been over 2 years ago! Can’t believe I still dream about him! I keep reminding myself that people like him try to recycle themselves back into your world. So, don’t let it happen! Thanks for the video! It had great timing.

That video describes my ex-husband perfectly!

I enjoyed the video ,thank you , but man I think I even saw some of myself in there have never thought of myself as a possible Narcissist , that’s scary for in reality I was abused as a child , married my teenage sweetheart we divorced after 33 years of marriage , he found someone else and had several “flings” as ONLY Friends and he expected me to accept all of that , I am afraid I have found myself in the situation of hoping we could get back together , can’t happen I cannot live through that kind of pain again ….Have remarried but find myself with a guy that loves being the INCHARGE .. so as I blunder through this trying to see what I should do .

Hello. My ex husband never tried to return. My psych md who treated me for depression and had interactions with him told me he had npd. Later I read Psychpath Free and saw my marriage almost to a T. When I asked the same dr she smiled and explained the Cluster B’s. I believe I read a psychopath does not try return after his discard of you

Great article Kim! I agree he always would say things that my mom would say that hurt me almost relentlessly and would never stop no matter what I said or did. He made me feel like i was never good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, he would he use little sinister tactics of color/race bating to make me feel less than and bring to the surface things that i actually had thought I had gotten over. Sad thing is, he and I have similar childhoods his way more traumatic than my though mine was still problematic to say the least. So he could only feel good about himself by making me feel bad about myself. He seemed to hate me having this optimistic you can push through attitude because no matter what I have gone through i still keep trying because seriously what else CAN I do? Death is not a viable option we have 2 living children together, that i am solely responsible for. It’s sad how you come into a person’s life to love them and their reaction is to abuse and use you, because they are too afraid to face their demons.

Hi Kim,
I look forward to reading your posts and am most appreciative of everything I learn. It has been 3 months no contact. And I have been using g a lot of your materials and honestly…loving myself.
Thank you for sticking with us and letting g us know we have something magestic to do and it is not to be tortured by these narcs.
Knowing I was not the only one in the world it was happening to and being shown to trust my I intuition is what enabled me to get out. Funny it was the easiest thing ever. And there were 8 cops there mocking me and talking to him about smack. How blinded we are.
Mandy Carroll