3 Key Steps to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

I’m having a very hard time with no contact. My narc is my one and only child, my daughter. My husband died 5 yrs ago. My daughter has done all the usual narc retaliations. I really don’t have anyone and I’m very depressed. I already take antidepressants. ( A gift from my daughter) Everything I read has to do with a spouse or significant other. There needs to be something for mothers! So much Narc Advice doesn’t even apply. This is my only child that I have loved with all my being all her life. It feels so much like my failing that she turned out this way! And I feel so cruel despite all the pain she enjoys inflicting on me. Yet there is this rage that I have toward her. I feel like I’m losing my mind!!!

Still angry after abuse what is ever happened in the past. I red a lot of comments of others and you tube stories with advice of survivors who are helping and support others to give advice what you should do and the golden rules after abuse, when pain lingers on after abuse etc. Some of these people are still in my mind get flashbacks and negative thoughts of it Even when it is long a go when it happened I have still weird dreams of this individuals. This type of abuse is a complicated because it is done to an individual and it is like nobody understands you and know you went though, and lonely at the core of your soul. To have similarities with some on makes it less lonely cause they understand you and i understand them. There is no alienated feeling of abandonement cause you understand the core of abuse. They say move on but it is hard to forget the past as it never did happen. In the past I needed to go in rehab for traumabonding. I did “t know what it was and cognative dissonance. Hope that many find you so they know that they are not alone. It feels very lonely at the core of your soul and describes the escape and exit-strategy from the narcissist. Never again with the naricissist what a nightmare was that. Get the hell out of there. I hope that police-officers know more of this abuse and don”t believe them in that theater that they are playing so they can stay safe at home.

Did n”t know what cognitive dissonance was and traumabonding. You don”t know where you are dealing and that makes it difficult. You have always hope if you don”t know what this is and what and who this person is. It is a look a like of everybody slavery to the devil who thinks he knows you and want to rule over your life. Confused in a web and in a fog at the cost of your short time memory and you gat nothing done and don”t know what it is and where it is come from. After I red about this what it means traumabonding it has a clear face. Finding you at the core of your soul and now i am understanding what this is and what it means. It is if you don”t see it in the beginning you get used to it to underwent this this shit and it can become a cycle and it is if you never can find the end cause there is no end for the narcissist. It ends when you are finally broken burned at the end and maybe even dead. Abuse has no end and it is an endless road. Now you can hold on to something what gives you strength and right and the right to speak out for what you are as an individual with individual rights. It is an emotional trip. The narc was a bad trip and a big hangover. You know they are sick. Victimblaming is also very damaging. You know the motives. Non judgemental people who listen to you and consistantly support values and beliefs. That attract and attack and cat and mouse game I don”t want to be envolved by that. .

Yes the newsletters and posts have been very helpful!
Glad to hear you have started back with your business, wishing you all the success and happiness.
Stay strong ❤️

Kim,I experienced all that U listed ,after I Broke my NC rule . And my reason being is I felt so lonely and he was the only one who d appear and want to take me out for a date ! But once I started loving myself ,I slowly realised my self worth. And once I did than I didn’t feel as lonely . Because I started busying myself in doing what I love doing ! And ofcourse reading more info on Narcisissts and narcisssit victim syndrome i finally figured it all and made the decision no more and made a new yr resolution I am not gonna do this anymore ! Called and ordered not show his face ever again ! Narcs like to look “all that “in front of their families. Thus I threatened to spill out the beans if he doesn’t stay away from me. I am proud of myself for having fulfilled my resolution and haven’t seen him for two yrs !! What I find hard though is, I still do get triggers . I have recovered from that longing for him feeling but I still find myself mad at him and I know I have not fully healed and somehow I feel I don’t think any of narcs victim can ever heal ! Moving on is a struggle still . I am
Blessed I am in a much better place and very relieved I am not with him ! I don’t ever miss him again. It had come to a point where when he d re appear I d feel disgusted to even look at him ! I have a question though. Why do most people don’t understand our situation? To them it is just “oh get over it !” Or “when u ever stop talking about it ?” Or ” I can’t wait till u take him totally out of your mind once and for all!” Truthfully speaking ,other than your posts and other sites on narcissists I have fought and still am fighting this inner battle ,alone. I don’t have much friends because all they do is talk about themselves and their poor stories ! Than turn around and tell me ” move on stop being depressed , you need to be happy etc etc !” Absolutely no moral support Kim. So I stay away from such people but end up lonely ! But this time I am stronger not to fall into another bad relationship just cause I am lonely ! I don’t wish to date at this moment. I am not ready to meet another narc ( I feel there r more evil doers than good men in this world )

Dear Kim,

I don’t know if he’s an N, but I’ve felt and gone through feeling crazy, worthless, doubted myself. I think he cheated on me multiple times. I’ve seen pictures of them together in Bali when he said that he was supposed to go to Korea for work. Unfortunately, I played detective countless of times snooping and going through his phone and I’m not proud of that. But I found all these text messages between them. She doesn’t live in the same country and they are doing long distance it seems. I just don’t understand why. We had such a good thing going on, until I found out about his first trip to Bali and that’s when the nightmare started. I sent the other lady a text on instagram and facebook asking if she had gone to Bali with him, this was before I saw the pictures, and she showed it to him and he said that I was his friend who has been “acting weird ever since he told the gang about their trip to Bali”.

I’ve been trying to make it work for the past 6 months but he broke up with me again after I posted a picture of us on Instagram. Just to give you full context, I liked and unliked many of her photos, in the hopes that she would come to my Instagram account and see our pictures. But he broke up with me because he said that I was messing with and harassing her and she was just a family friend, and endangering his family.

I’ve showed him his texts, and he said that he cannot explain anymore than that he has to do this, and that I can either believe him and stick with him, or just leave.

He never gave me that choice. I decided to stay with him hence the instagram picture. but he broke up with me. His siblings are in Singapore for the weekend, and we were supposed to meet, he arranged for them to meet with all our mutual friends.

I don’t think i’ve reached the stage of acceptance, or letting it go, because i don’t believe that he could do this still. I feel bad because i’ve been acting crazy and i wonder if i’m the narcissist in all of this. I keep looking for reassurance everywhere, from my friends, my family, i keep telling them i’m not crazy. most of our mutual friends don’t believe me until i show them his texts. But some just say that that’s not the person they know.

That’s not the person I knew either.

I left R in 1991 after 10 years of abuse. My life still carries scars, but I intentionally reestablished my positive sense of self and forged a beautiful life and attracted a healthy romantic relationship. It took years. What helped the most? Meditation. Journaling. Some good therapists. It also helped to create a supportive, loving community around myself of people who believed in me. My son and I prospered and flourished because of these things. If I can do it, you can do it.

So well-said. Acceptance of what is and what will be is so very difficult– and so very necessary for healing and recovery.
I allowed my ex-husband to move out and move back in (all while “eating cake”) four times before finally accepting the utter toxicity and lack of hope for a better outcome.
Perhaps my therapist put it best when she told me quite frankly, “You can’t build a relationships based on someone’s “potential.'”

Im still stuck in recovery, its been 3 months and a friend has just said i need to slow down..ive lost everything and possibly moving into a hostel and my anger at the moment is 2 years ago i started my new life and was doing ok, then i met my N and now i feel i’m completely back to square one.
and everyday i’m reminded of him due to the fact he kept everything of mine, so when i go to get something, its not there and it’s a big trigger!
But i’m still living with hope & no contact and have bad days & i let myself have those bad days (well im trying) and deal with the emotions so that eventually i can move on.