Revealed! 6 Lies Narcissists Tell (The Short-List)

How do I get him to move out of my house? I have known something was not quite right from the beginning ( that gut feeling). But this article describes him to a tee! I’m tired and I want him out!

I need any material to read on narcissist

I’ d like ask something, what if the narcissist is the 30 years old daughter?

Thank you for your article
This only confirms what I have noticed on my own that I am not crazy a liar or confused or doubtful yet he tried keeping me away from my family and I fell for all his charm love and deceit I fell in his web of lies caught in this web and played like a toy yo yo pull me in push me away only when he wanted to play and I am glad I am letting him go I do love him he needs help he can’t see how he is treating me and I will not be a victim no more thanks
Just brief comments my visions are deeper than what I am saying I went through
✌?

I’m 80years old with cancer and my wife does not care about at all she hope I die and she gets everything 38years hurt hate

Scenario 1 ( (this really happened, many times)

Me: “why did you do that? Do you know how disrespectful that is to me?”

Him: “what disrespect? I cant be blamed if YOU CHOOSE to feel disrespected”

Scenario 2 (this really happened, many times)
Me: you had me waiting for half and hour

Him:” I dont know what youre talking about”
(this is after asking me to pick him up, and after me indicating as soon as i get to his building, that im outside. He gets into the car ans offwrs no apology for having me sitting there in 90 degree whether for half an hour.)

Me: who is this? (showing him screen shots of half naked women in his phone)

Him: who is who? I dont know what youre talking about (he says this while looking at the pics)

Me: “these women! These photos from your phone”

Him: “Whatever it is you CLAIM you saw in my phone, has nothing to do with me”

I could go on and on.
These people are demons from the pit of hell. Run.

Six months ago I was with a man that tried to control me,emotional abusive. Told so many lies. His wife that he had been separated from for years had according to him tried to kill herself. He drank heavily. I noticed his disregard for good people. Gerry liked to let me know when he saw a beautiful woman. My amazing daughter has been there for me she never liked him. I could not have a lunch date with her without him being there. He through me out and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was quickly replaced. I had stayed with this idiot to protect the dog as her wanted to kill her. The warning were always there. I heal and move on.

Wow I know an acquaintance who fits this to a tee. Her lying is beyond chronic. It’s clinical ! Very bad. She can create s story at the drop of a hat without blinking and it’s all day everyday yet so sad and she thinks it’s normal . contrary to people not believing a word , she thinks that she’s pulled the wool over your eyes and some actually fall for it but most don’t. The ones who do fall for it, she thinks they’re vulnerable . Even the behaviors on the other pages have her on point of what a narcissist is. I feel bad because I know it affects her children.poor kids.

I just had to add my two cents in this convo and say a heartfelt thank you to Kim for her fantastic work. I have been with my ex wife for most of my life. We were together since i was 21 now i am 43, her lying can only be described as phenomenal, even though i saw things with my own two eyes after she explained it all i even doubted myself. Because of my empathetic nature i always tried to resolve things, always take responsibility, saying sorry when she was the one in the wrong. She lied in church to the Pastor, lied to our daughter with the intention of establishing conflict between my daughter and i, and she almost succeeded. She is a perfect chameleon. I had an issue with our daughter and had a family discussion, every word that uttered her mouth related to God, she asked me to pray as a family all the while made plans to meet with the man that she was sexually involved with after the pray session. It never made any sense since i am a hunk, not trying to boast but i am very health conscious, eat right, train 6 days of the week and very independent. The man she connected with was 66 years old, sickly and infirmed, she has no money, rents a small apartment and does not even own a vehicle, it just was not making any sense. This was not the first time, the man before has been incarcerated numerous times for several issues including cocaine use, he to lived in squalor. I thought something spiritually may have been wrong with her, since she was really attractive, really pretty. I had my own business besides being employed with the state. I made her director of the company, she signed checks and became involved with the UPS guy and other clients. Before this understanding i really thought she was mad. I have since divorced her, i have custody of our daughter, and even though i am overcoming this experience daily and somehow still thanking God for the experience i know that i am also still wounded. Thank you again KIm!!!

My father is the word narcissist. He turned Brother against brother. He stole 44,000 from my mothers inheritance. Those who associate with a narcissist should run for the hills. They will ruin everything you love or hold true. They are like a virus that will slowly eat away at the core of your humanity. When you’re down they will continue to kick, until you stop screaming for help. Then they will take more.

Leaving my ex Narc was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I left him a year and a half ago and unfortunately there has been a lot of back and forth- or discards I should say. I think I’ve finally got it now. You know you’ve made it when you aren’t in constant pain and anxiety with him in your life and you can see that you could never put yourself through that again. I enjoy my alone time now and have been able to enjoy the small moments in life without my mind being flooded with him, his abuse, his actions… I can sleep at night without anxiety that he’s sneaking out our front door to go meet another woman in the parking garage. He is an alcoholic on top of it=Yikes!

Yep there is a list of lies he told that is too long to say. He lives a pathetic life as an immature boy in his mid thirties and had left a trail of broken women in his wake. Not me. I am better for this experience and I am slowly learning what self respect and love is. And as a codependent I am realizing that it is not my job to take care of anyone but myself.

The best part was in any interaction where I had brought up how he hurt me, he would say “Sarah, if I just told you what you just so hatefully said to me, you’d never talk to me again!”, as if him “forgiving” me for the injustice of me expressing my pain was some gift to me. As if him talking to me was a gift from God. He can go kick rocks.

Ladies, gentleman- if you’re already thinking about leaving- that is your insides screaming to you that something is WRONG. This is your flight or fight response and you need to take action before it’s too late. Rip off the band aid, find a safe place to go and take back your life. You won’t regret it. Take it from a woman who never thought she’d make it and who was severely suicidal towards the end. You will smile again and you WILL be okay.

My father is that and then some. One story of many, but this one stings the most. He stole my mothers will after her father passed on and gave it to his other girlfriend ( 33,000 ) We are seeking legal help. Also cleared her bank out this month knowing she needs money for her medications. Now she can’t afford rent or medications. Even with my help I can do it. so on Monday we will try and seek out help. Hurt so bad by his actions I will be changing my last name in 2016.

What I’ve gone through is a nightmare I seriously should write a book for what he did to me. My best friend who was a cop told me a million times to get away from this monster he isn’t human it’s not long enough to say what he did to me I should’ve had him arrested a million times but the guilt of I shouldn’t do that and what if I do and he comes out and tortures me more. Well if you ever want to know ask. My life’s been destroyed, my kids my family to this day he comes after me threatens me manipulates me and everyone around him even my kids. He’s violating a court orders and the judge I’ve called over n over and no call back I’m scared he’s going to make up some cockamamie lie and have me arrested. He’s threatened it before. Im sorry but I would have rather gone to physical war at least I know what can happen instead of dealing with a psychopath like him. I really hope he burns in hell for what he’s done.

This is great. The constant tactic I have used at me is “I never said that” and “that didn’t happen!” Then he uses times when he spoke muffled under his breath to prove I don’t always hear him correctly. But other times he’s loud, clear and in my face. No matter what he’s done he puts responsibility for it on me. I call him on it and he says, “Well you blame ME!” We humans all make mistakes but the narc refuses to ever be wrong. His games never worked on me, even when he changes events and words. But he definitley has been successful at instilling anxiety, stress, and physical sickeness in me. The worst part is his failure to admit he lies. He used to also be an active alcoholic and, during drunken episodes, he admitted two different times that he’s both a liar and has “a hard time not lying”. I’ve told him this before and his response? “You misunderstood me.” His sister has even told me he can’t see people clearly. At times when I needed backing I told him she said this. “You didn’t hear anything,” he said. Realizing in the last month this type of person doesn’t change makes me stop trying to get him to admit anything. These people don’t respect others. Talking and reasoning doesn’t work. It brings out their rage, blame, and evasion. I’ve learned while I’m still living with him setting boundaries through my actions (not words) to him is the only thing that works. Honestly they’re like kids. A lack of respect and listening shouldn’t produce more talking from a parent, it should produce consequences. He remembers all kinds of things. It’s convienient he “can’t remember” or keep in his mind things that affect my health or hurt me. All I can do is set boundaries by my actions. And every time it produces injury in him that I’m not being more close. They are delusional.

Having just within the last few months discovered that there was a name for what I, and apparently thousands of others, have been suffering from, the epiphany came almost in one second, after tagging a few things online that caught my attention, namely Pinterest. The instant I opened these posts, my eyes flew open like I had just discovered the Holy Grail. There it was, every warning sign, calling card, nasty behavior, and ultimate trail of destruction. My Narco actually stooped so low as to making us late for 2 funerals, one of them my fathers’, and then compounded the insult by promising my family members (out of state, over 1200 miles from our home), that he had a connection in the memorial marker (headstone) business, and that he could get an enormous discount for that. Of course the promise never materialized, and after well over a year of being put off, given excuses, my family went ahead and did it themselves, and they included me and my step sister as a specialized part of the engraving. Of course, I ended up looking like the a-hole, especially after being given the gift of a sizable inheritance (which he promptly began blazing through). During the process of telling him what my family had done for me, and then trying to take him to task for blurting out, what of course in hindsight was a ridiculous promise, (I mean really, even if the damn thing was made for free, the shipping cost and logistics negated any possible discount), he said casually, yeah I guess I just wasn’t thinking clear, so sue me. Yup, that’s what I’ve dealt with for 20 years now. One other thing, I shared with the first women’s outreach counselor I talked to, that in my previous profession (hairstylist), I was actually taking part in displaying cards and flyers at my station and in the restroom of the salon, stating “Love Shouldn’t Hurt”, and “Need Help From Abuse? Call this 800# to speak with a counselor/advocate, and get help, we’re here for you”. My counselor said, listen honey-I’ve had therapists sitting where you are now. Can’t see the forest for the trees, no truer words spoken.

I’m leaving a 10 year relationship that was totally deceitful from beginning to end. The lies are on going. The verbal abuse is ongoing. And my story is familiar to those posted he’re years ago. I’m 30 years old and I like honest relationships. It’s troubling to my soul that I cannot and will not ever be able to trust him. He makes all resolutions impossible and he never apologizes. He’s even started kicking me out of the house as of this year (Because of arguments he starts). I’ve lost a job because he threw me out and wouldn’t let me in until he left for work. I’m working 3 jobs to get away from him and also to take care of myself because he doesnt support me at all. I’m talking about, complaints of giving me money for anything. He a skillful mechanic. Rebuilds cars but he will not help with my vehicle. He loves to see me struggle and have difficulties, I’ve learned. I’ve learned more than I ever cared too! I’m steadfast in my faith. Liars ruin lives. I also had panic attacks and hyperthyroidism just last year from his controlling ways and lies.

I was wondering… My ex left me in an awful way. He confessed about 4 different lies to me, in the drip-fashion. The first day he broke and told me the lies, he said there were no more and even wrote me a letter saying he was so glad he had finally told me the truth… then he told me he lied and that there was another lie. I never cornered him. He had no reason to tell me, no benefits, so why? He really did seem afraid. One of his secrets was that he was bulimic, and I know it was true from his brother… Well, after he ditched me without closure or explanation (he had promised I could finally get the plane ticket to go see him before disappearing) I discovered he lied about yet another petty thing, and I’m fairly certain he was talking to other people because I downloaded Whatsapp and saw he had changed his status to ‘dead’ one night that he claimed he had ‘fallen asleep’ on me. Towards the end he was always ‘falling asleep’ on me… After the breakup, however, I could tell by his gaming that he really wasn’t staying up much later, so who knows. His lies were materialistic and vain, except for the one about him having bulimia. Part of me wants to believe he never loved me, but I have a good intuition and just don’t believe it. I think some people lie because they simply do not love themselves and would rather play the part of someone else. He hides under animal personas online… Mostly cats, and he’s 25. Would he truly have left because it was ‘game over,’ as this article says? I know my worth and how much he adored me. I was never wrong in his eyes until the very end, and while he was mean to me then, it never was about what I had done but about his own screw-ups. Do narcissists leave without explanation if it’s truly a game? It seems there were genuine emotions involved that perhaps he didn’t expect or wasn’t ready for, causing him to flee. I feel he started to see himself for what he truly was, instead of his lies and personas, and it scared him. Is that narcissistic or something else entirely?

Reblogged this on Lucky Otter's Museum of Narcissism and commented:
So much truth in all of this. I have seen all of these lies up close and personal. The one “You are responsible for the way you feel” when they have just said something hurtful to you REALLY hit home with me. And of course the way they gaslight, gaslight, gaslight and always try to make you feel like there’s something wrong with YOU.

Reblogged this on Creativity From Within.

Christian Woman…. I believe you just hit the nail right on the head! I was reading a book on the different temperaments of people and this particular book was written by Tim Lahaye so it was based on Christian principles. After realizing that my husband was a choleric and sanguine I approached him and said that I was praying for us and I prayed that he would open up enough to let the holy spirit in and listen to it… The response I got HAD to be demon possessed. Immediately after saying that, I thought he was going to hit me, his eyes became wild and he just snapped and started screaming at me that he didn’t need any fkn God to help him and that I was the one with the problem. I made the decision that very day to get out for my own safety. His ego and self importance are so extreme that its just unreal. Sure there is mental illness but if you could see this guy in action you would think he was demon possessed, Its crazy

It’s really worth looking into how demons operate on a person, they give people a huge ego & want you to think all these things. I believe narcissist are demon possessed and by this point of level reached they would be extremely hard to convince that this is what’s going on. If you know someone who is a narcissist it would be a good idea to contact a deliverance minister and talk to them about the persons problems and how to learn how to live demon free and live in Christ. (It can happen even to a Christian.)

OMG! Every single point..1-6 is exactly my ex-N to a tee! “I cant imagine my life without you! You’re my soul mate!” I can’t tell you how many times I heard that. But then the craziness came…”Didn’t do that or Didn’t say that”. I seriously felt like I needed a tape recorder just to keep my sanity. I never did get one though I should have. She systematically withdrew me from friends and family claiming that we needed more “us time.” In the end I ended up with no one because I had cut ties with those important in my life. She’d claim that I was the ONLY person on earth who didn’t understand her. That I was “overly sensitive” and exaggerate every little thing. I thought I was going crazy. I cant tell you how many times I heard “YOU are choosing to feel bad for what I said or did.” If I dont have a problem with it, then you have the problem.” Oh wow! I can still hear her voice utter those words and that was YEARS ago! And the lies…the constant unending lies! Didnt matter if they were little lies or the big whoppers…she always had a split second answer to every question I would ask. I mean, she is an EXCELLENT liar. I would only discover the truth over time because her memory couldn’t keep her stories the same. History kept changing and i kept a hidden journal in my garage of all the “weird incidents”…which convinced me that I wasn’t crazy. I’m healing now (5 YEARS later), but it hasn’t been easy. I still feel like she never loved me and I was only an ATM machine to her. It really makes trusting anyone ever again seem impossible. I’m glad I found this blog!!! It’s helped me emmensely in understanding what kind of diabolical, conniving, manipulative person I was married to. I’m thrilled to be divorced from her, but glad to know that I’m not the only one experiencing this. I’ve got soooooo many stories to tell…and how I found out the truth. Sorry for the ramble.

My wife made me think I was mad she made me so isolated. And felt so loved then I found out she lied from a young. Teenager. Then she get bruises. Very easy from a blood problem then she started to show every bruise. To everyone and over time they all started to think I did it all she lied to her family everyday it was sad that she did this she then started to lie about her phone calls hiding everything then stealing from our bank account everyone she seen she lied to she lived in her past I was told about her lies from her family later on in the marriage then she started to get very nasty abusing me if I didn’t do what she said I would get told she would get her grandparents. To do what she wanted she started to keep me out of the bed so she did not have to get up then she would yell at me when I did not get up to look after the baby that was next to her then she lied about how she got animals she said she would find them but I would find out the truth this happens for years I thought it was me doing the wrong thing in the end I was on meds for what I had it was her being a nasty lieing bully to me that made me breakdown then she started lieing to people. At the school about everything she started to call the police to say I was. Abusing her when I was away it never stopped she made close friends with them when we moved she started calling the police everything she came back and said I was hurting her I found out she was having a affair. But I stayed. She never got off her phone and I cleaned non stop and if I did not clean. She made me feel bad and day to the kids it was my fault. That they did not get perfect clothes everyday then she got her police friend. To get a avo on me it came from the police not her getting it she got them to make one up so it can’t be changed in court her family. Know I didn’t do what was said they are behind me she then started ringing up and started saying the animals were getting killed by me when I was staying with her grandparents. Then her van was burnt out she told police about the couple of times someone tried to burn it but they said hey it was her who did it but her police mate made the other officer say sorry so docs came and said she has to go to a safe house they think I did it even when I can’t leave her grandparents house and now the police can’t charge me they keep on putting of the court date. They said she has been going up to the police for a long time and now she will be caught by the police for lieing about the abuse and her family will find out what she has done I waited 13years to get the house now I have it then all the things started to happen the broken ankle. The bruse. From the big dog and the kids playing with her and her telling everyone she was coachin a lot of sporting teams she has lied about being married to everyone at the school then they found out she made me sad so much I wanted to end it all many times she loves me when she has lied to someone and I will see them the next day saying that something was. Said she said I broke her finger and stabbed. Her broke her ribs and done so much to her she can’t stop lieing and now iam facing jail because of her lies I never left I tried but she said she wanted me to stay but I believed her now iam a joke around the area but it’s backfired. On her now she wants to say in court that I didn’t do anything but lieing to the police will send her to jail so they her police friends have got it over her because I can sue them for the lies she told so now I fight to cope with the lies that she told the kids but they want there dad but I can’t see them and docs say iam mad because of her lies how can i get through this and live and love again iam a lonely guy she kept me in the house working around so she could do what she wanted and she lived off my money I was getting now she will lose it she is trying to get me to forgive her after everything she has done and this is only a little of what she has done in 11years

The mind f-ing continues. I have gone “no contact” and he still sends me letters and sends emails. I had to call the police to warn him to stop contacting me. He agreed, and still persisted. Now harassment charges are being filed. I didn’t do this to him. He did it to himself. He just cannot stop. And the letters are sickening. He is getting worse and is completely delusional. Extremely, mentally ill.

I am too scared to even post this comment, if you cld chat with me via email?? Anyone? Appreciative wld b an understatement!!! ? Mel (32yrs, 3 children, in serious need of help)
Indeed this is some sort of miracle i bumped into this tonite)

I think my husband may be a narc…I posted on a previous thread, we have been having issues with him not being able to “CHANGE” he has a facebook addiction and chats with all kinds of women, flirting, getting numbers, giving his out, ( this is only a small sample of what goes on, he has no job, does nothing around the house period ) after having it out and telling him we need to change this or there is no us, he made a promise that he would not “CHAT” with women unless we both know them, ( fair enough I am up for compromise, I’m not a jealous freak, he had an “emotional affair” 7 years ago that lasted for 2 years behind my back they never saw one another she lived 3,000 miles away but talked on the phone all the time and he made her think we were in a divorce which was a lie, that’s why I have issues with the chatting/flirting)
He gave me his password and told me to check it anytime. I didn’t check it for weeks, but then I noticed him on the phone all the time so I did…yes he was chatting again with an old “childhood” friend. We got into it about it another broken promise so I told him I didn’t care what he did that I was no longer going to baby sit him. Of course I got the promise not to do it once again, but I took it with a grain of salt. I went to the computer last night to pay a bill and his FB messages were open, almost like he wanted me to see it? So of course he’s chatting with the same person, mind you nothing sexual just things like “you like that number ? (22)It’s a sign, signs are big in my world” so when we get into it, I am told “if you didn’t know/snoop would you be upset right now?” are you kidding me? That’s only a very small portion of my life!

What would make a narcissist change? Can a significant other make them change? How can they learn to treat people better and be appreciative of what they have? Great blog article!

he is obviously doing all this because if he blames you….. he doesn’t have to face up to his own ugly soul. Ugh. I bet if you were able to hear what his ex said to her friends when they split up before you would hear lots of similarities.

I am dying inside….he made love to me in the morning…and in the afternoon, he sent me an email that was full of ugly lies about me, told me to get our of our home, and he has not talked to me since. We were together four years. I loved him so much…still do…had to go to a mental hospital because I no longer wanted to live…how could he have turned on a dime like that? I hurt everyday…I begged him to give me one call and explain what changed….he took me to court for sending him too many emails…he knew the judge…I got a stalking order against me for sending 2 emails a day….why is he doing this? Now he is back with his ex wife and bought her a home just like we had, swimming pool, tennis court, and they are having a 4th of July party that is just like the one we had planned…

Wow, so many comments and discoveries on living with these narcissistic people, so sad! I guess I am one…..just finding out actually, 32 years of marriage. I have a different twist, though. My husband and I are both Christians, or I guess he says he is, I have wondered for YEARS how he can call himself one, and act like he does to me, which is cruel, uncaring, fake, punishing, calculating, purposefully mean and has yelled at me ever since I can remember. Yet, when I call him on things, it’s as if I’m crazy! Or he just stares at me in silence…. He will apologize, but I believe repentance is change, yeah whatever. I finally figured out he was apologizing for himself, not me, just to make him feel better for what he had done, it had little, if anything to do with me. He IS (even if falsely) nice, caring, kind, friendly, helpful and “normal” to everyone else, but I am the only one who sees, feels, the truly abnormal state in which he lives. I am exhausted! I have tried and tried, believed God for change and a healthy relationship and truly believed it was possible. I called a counselor about two months ago and read him this, which I found on FB and it struck me that this had been the wrap up of my entire marriage with this guy, “There is a difference between caring, controlling and crazy……caring is making a suggestion, controlling is making a demand, crazy is making you obey or PAY! Recognize crazy early, people are losing their lives over crazy!” by Anthony Gaskins, Jr. The counselor gave it to me straight, and said much of what I have read on this blog., and said that I would never have a real, loving relationship with him, just interactions – which is exactly what it has always felt like! It’s tough to realize, but so exhilarating to hear truth! And while it did set me free in many ways and answered almost every life long question I had about his behavior and interactions with me, I can’t wrap my mind around how or why God wouldn’t have found a way to show me or allow me to discover this sooner? (I do not blame God) I am baffled by a lot of things right now, that I am trying to sort out, one of them however, is not who and what I am dealing with in my husband, that is very clear, sadly! And I have seen it or know about all of his siblings acting in the same manner to their spouses (a lot of manipulation going on) and his Father, too. Thank you for this blog and your insights, I truly appreciate all the info I have received and I look forward to my future after realizing it really was not a relationship – just interactions. I grew up in a home where my parents had the most amazing loving, respectful, caring, beautiful relationship I have ever witnessed to this day! I have never seen their equal, but I watched them live their lives in complete harmony and with that as an example I know I am perfectly capable of having that kind of relationship, given the right partner – and I will!

Wow, This article struck a nerve with me. I am already divorced but struggle to understand why my ex wife did the things she did during and after our marriage. My Little Chilango princess. Sociopathic, Arrogant, Beautiful and Youthful. Lies through her teeth with the greatest of ease. Never caring about other peoples feelings. Only living to give everything to her mommy and siblings. I swear she was only interested in me for her green card and, of course, sucking as much money out of me as possible. Still, I cared for her so much and was crazy about her. After we divorced I started to view her from a distance. I noticed the lies, little lies, and big lies. As if she were playing a game. Very selfish and self-centered woman. She puts her Mommy and siblings above her husband and child. Stupid immature girl. Oh well, She’s on to the next victim. I could save the poor sap a lot of pain with a 5 minute conversation, but not my place. He will learn eventually, the ugly truth about her.

Reblogged this on lovesantita and commented:
#soreal Woe to you if you fall for that man . #smh

This is so bizarre that I found this today. After 11 years of manipulation and habitual lying, I am leaving my husband. Not only is every single word that comes out of his mouth a lie, but I have found out that he had a problem with that his entire life AND molested one sister (in his teens) approached another sister to disrobe her top all the time, possibly raped his sisters best friend and molested another girl. Add that to the fact that he steals and has absolutely NO remorse, I just can’t take it any longer. He is as sick as they come and scary in that he can be as charming as can be. He now has his parents and sons snowed that I am a horrible person, but I could care less at this point. I have to wait for an apartment to open up and until then, I am stuck here, but will be so happy to be gone!

Edythe, yes, this is the classic pattern of the Narcissist. Verbally assaulting you and the claiming you’re too sensitive.

It is indeed scary. There are so many of them out there…

Hey all. Yes: my life for past twenty yrs w wasband: (yes: please use the all of you, w out my humor I would have killed myself) Here is a thought as i was reading: what if one of these mother#uchers was/is posing here: to fool us? for instance: mine would TOTALLY get on here…read all this and then start commenting…although from what i have learned in the last six months: (THANK YOU LORD IN HEAVEN) he wouldn’t be typing too long before we would all call “BULL#HIT!!” and see we have the enemy in our midst: im just saying: mine would do something like that….to find a way to hurt me as much as possible: he would quote some of this: and tear it all to pieces. If you hv been living w one, you know my point… they are evil, diabolical: and always reach for a new dispicable, bizzare way to destroy us..wow…i nearly DID lose my life: but I got that body walking around w no soul the fu#k out of my house and am divorcing his dumb a#s.

My ex husband used to throw wobblers about not drying the dishes up in the right way. He liked the bedroom window open during the night and I liked it closed. He threatened to throw me out of the window if I closed it. I had to wait till he fell asleep and close it then. When I made a comment about his whining (the first time ever) he pinned me down on the bed and tried to squash my nose with his hand and strangle me (he left bruises all round my neck). I also suspect he killed our cat whilst I was away on holiday. This is why he is now my ex.
I suppose he must have got some motivation to work from somewhere eventually as he became a language tutor and I believe went over to Russia for a while. At any rate he married a Russian woman who must have only been too pleased to get out of Russia and who gave him the kids he wanted and which I refused to give him because of his behaviour. They are now all living together under one roof as a happy family I believe – him, his wife and his MOTHER (UGH) – an N-b*tch if there ever was one, who said about 2 words to me during the time we lived together. Glad I am shot of that bunch!!!
I have had relationships since my marriage ended 8 years ago but they all seem to be with other narcissists, the cumulative effect ended up giving me PTSD which took me almost a year to get over, I became alcohol dependent and could not take it any more. I have in my heart given up any hope of having a relationship built on mutual respect, relationships of any type seem like a bad joke to me (as to me society is built on narcissism and hypocrisy) and the only relationship that seems to come close is the one I have with my Dad, I feel he’s the only one that truly loves me. But at least that is something. My relationship with my mum is non existent as she too is a N. You often find Ns agreeing with each other and sticking together. I think it is a mindset.
I have been evaluating all my relationships since the beginning of this year and have been weeding out those who are patronizing, don’t show me any respect, or expect me to bend over backwards the whole time for nothing. I think a lot of these people just try it on to see what they can get away with. I have started carrying a very big (metaphorical) stick around with me and setting boundaries. Put it this way, I am happier alone than with people who just want someone there as an accessory, or someone they can vent all their bile onto.

does this mean there is no hope for our relationship? right now he is telling me that things are getting better and he is trying to get his old feelings back for me but says he tried for so long to get me to pay attention to him that he has lost feelings for me. I feel like I cant breathe when hes around because he demands so much attention and then he tells me I am the controlling one but I see just the opposite. I hate to fight and will do almost anything to avoid one. It feels to me like he is the one always picking them. He says he hates to fight too but that because I don’t pay enough attention to him he gets “loud” . I say it is much more than just loud when he calls me names and then he just gets louder. I calmly told him I thought he needs medication and wow…. you would have thought I said he was a murderer or something. My gosh, this all sounds so childish to me as I am reading it back.

i think I am married to one of these guys. Only he says that I say things that I don’t say, picks fights with me when he doesn’t get his way and generally makes my life miserable. 2 weeks ago he changed the locks on our house and removed all my belongings just because I went to bed Friday night and didn’t tell him I was going and it made him mad cause he says I don’t pay enough attention to him. He started a huge argument over that and I asked him to close the window so the neighbors wouldn’t hear but he proceeded to scream,,,, if you don’t like it get off your fat fuckin lazy ass and close it yourself cunt, first of all WHO says things like that?
I am back home now but he is still telling me I need to fix whats wrong with our relationship. I am usually a very strong person but I am wondering if he does have some valid points about me. Reading this back I know it makes me sound weak but he says I am too closed off to him and I need to pay more attention to him. Maybe he has a point? But jeez.. I need help.

I gave the Narc I dated a very nice bracelet. I knew he was a pathological liar, so I asked him where he told people he got it from. He told me he told some people he bought it, and some people that his girlfriend had given it to him They are so delusional and crazy I guess he thought this explanation to me was normal!

Reblogged this on Little one.

*scream* This post really made me angry. Not at you, Kim, but the choices in examples as to outlining these sadistic and mind*cking lies, I swear to GOD are, word for word, out of the psychopath/narcissist manual.

You are very talented and I see so many gifts in your writing. I’d like to do a review of your blog. Is this okay with you? There are a few other blogs I’d like to highlight as well, but I would like to have permission to do so first. Thank you for this post and your blog.

Just reading this is reminding me of the bad times and it exhausts me to think of it. Not my spouse but my parents, sibling, and two of my own children. The legacy for me is long-term physical disability and long-term mental therapy; PTSD, and RSD among other problems. Thank you for explaining some things that I just didn’t understand. I can now be more aware and learn to set better boundaries. I have reached the point that I simply prefer my own company which doesn’t work so well within a marriage. Shutting down and isolating isn’t the answer. Time to get back to life and live it while learning to avoid the soul-destroying NPD members of my family….even though family is traditionally the backbone of support. In my case it is not. Thanks again for sharing your insight.

Scary stuff.

Reblogged this on Poetry Inspector aka Simple Pleasures and commented:
Excellent Blog

[…] lie about everything.  In fact, they will even lie about things they don’t “need” to lie about.  I think some of […]

an unusual and distinctive blog, very interesting reading!
Thank you for subscribing to my site and allowing me to enter your world! Eddie

Powerful list and hopes it helps victims to get out and get on with their healthier lives!

Wow! Some of these actually remind me of my ex!

spot on..

[…] Revealed! 6 lies Narcissists Tell  […]

Loved this. Can I link it to my post, Top 10 Signs You are Dating a Narcissist? http://wp.me/p3scpP-cl

I am just learning about all of this. I am in the middle of a hostile divorce with my narcissistic husband We were married for just short of 20 years. You are so right about it affecting your health! I am lucky that he wanted to end it. I would have slowly died if not. See my post “Boiling a Frog”. Reading all of these posts is teaching me so much about what I am going through.

Yep.

Me: “But I thought you said …”

Ex: “No I didn’t.”

Me: (Am I going crazy?)

Wow…This sounds so amazingly familiar. My best friend was married to a narcissist for 17 years. His behavior was exactly as you described. And the kicker is, I was friends with this guy long before she married him. I can look back on our friendship and see his behavior back to his early 20’s. He was fired from every single job he ever had either for lying or some other form of unethical behavior. And his behavior with my best friend was always on a scale between disrespectful and downright surreptitious. She finally left after she realized how it was affecting her kids.

You’re right – run.