signs you're being targeted by a narcissist

5 Signs You’re Being Targeted By A Narcissist

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In the realm of human relationships, there exists a personality type that wields an uncanny ability to captivate and manipulate others, leaving a trail of emotional devastation in its wake. They are narcissists, masters of deception, who possess a keen sense of entitlement and an insatiable hunger for admiration. Crossing paths with a narcissist can be an emotionally harrowing experience, yet identifying their subtle tactics can prove elusive.

If you find yourself questioning your worth and sanity while dealing with someone who seems to thrive on control, it’s essential to recognize the signs you’re being targeted by a narcissist.

In this article, we will shine a light on five unmistakable signals that indicate you are in the crosshairs of a narcissist’s manipulative agenda.

1 – Charmed by a Bewitching Persona

Narcissists are notorious for their magnetic charm and impeccable charisma, drawing unsuspecting victims into their orbit. Beware the mesmerizing allure of a narcissist’s honeyed words.  If you feel an instant and overwhelming connection with someone who exudes an air of grandiosity, it may be a sign that you have become the narcissist’s latest fascination.

Add to this that they are also grandmasters at the illusion of fun.  Life is a stage to them, and they perform with perfection.  They’re never at a loss for where to go, what to do, or what to say.  This is the phase where they give you a glimpse of “things to come” if you make them a permanent fixture in your life.  There isn’t the smallest moment of discomfort on their part. They’re the reason the word “charisma” is in the dictionary. 

If it seems too good to be true, it usually is.

2 – Future-Faking (also known as Fast-Forwarding)

Narcissists use a tactic known as future-faking or fast-forwarding. This insidious strategy involves the narcissist painting an enticing picture of a future together, filled with promises and dreams, alluring you into their web of deceit.

Narcissists are skilled at tapping into your deepest desires and vulnerabilities, using them as ammunition to fast-forward the relationship. Very early in the relationship, they may talk about marriage, children, shared goals, vacations, and a future filled with success and happiness. These grandiose visions create an illusion of a perfect life with them at the center, leaving you swept away by their persuasive words and enticing fantasies.

However, it’s important to remember that these promises are nothing more than empty words and manipulative tactics for narcissists. Their goal is to gain control and keep you emotionally invested in the relationship. Once they have you hooked, the future they painted fades away, and you find yourself left with broken promises and shattered dreams.

3 – Boundary Invasion

A narcissist’s modus operandi is the invasion of personal boundaries right from the beginning. They have an abnormal ability to encroach upon your individuality, disregarding your limits and manipulating your sense of self. It’s crucial to recognize this behavior as soon as possible in order to protect your emotional well-being.

Narcissists are often highly skilled at pushing the boundaries, whether it’s invading your personal space, prying into your private matters, or imposing their opinions and desires onto you. They may ignore your boundaries altogether, dismissing your needs and feelings as inconsequential. By doing so, they gain control and undermine your autonomy, making it easier for them to exert their influence over your life.

In the early stages of a relationship with a narcissist, they typically test your boundaries to see how pliable you are. They may ask probing questions, insist on knowing every detail of your life, or invade your privacy without remorse.

It’s important to assert your boundaries firmly and consistently, setting the precedent that your personal space and privacy are to be respected.  Remember, you have the right to protect your personal space, emotions, and values.  By asserting your boundaries and maintaining a firm stance, you can safeguard your sense of self and create a foundation of respect in all your relationships. 

heal from abuse4 – Romance on Steroids

When it comes to narcissists, their approach to romance is like a turbocharged engine, fueled by manipulation and deceit. They employ a technique known as “romance on steroids” or “love bombing” to create an intense and overwhelming sense of connection from the very beginning of a relationship. Understanding this tactic is crucial to protect yourself from falling into their web of deception.

Love bombing is a calculated strategy employed by narcissists to bombard you with excessive affection, attention, and extravagant gestures. They shower you with compliments, gifts, and declarations of love, making you feel like the most cherished person in the world. Their relentless pursuit of your affection leaves you feeling swept off your feet, blinding you to their true intentions.

This intense and rapid display of affection serves a purpose for the narcissist: to gain control and establish emotional dependency. They create a false sense of intimacy and connection by overwhelming you with love and attention. However, this grand display is often short-lived. Once the narcissist has secured your devotion, the love bombing fades away, revealing their true colors and leaving you emotionally vulnerable.

Protecting yourself from the love bombing tactic requires a keen awareness of the narcissist’s true intentions. Take your time to build a genuine connection based on trust and mutual respect. Healthy relationships evolve naturally and at a steady pace, rather than being thrust into a whirlwind of exaggerated emotions. Stay grounded in reality, trust your instincts, and look for consistency in words and actions to differentiate between genuine affection and the narcissist’s elaborate facade.

5 – Emotional Puppeteering

Narcissists are skilled puppeteers, adept at manipulating your emotions to serve their own interests. Emotional puppeteering is one of the most insidious ways they control and dominate others. This technique involves the narcissist skillfully manipulating your emotions, leaving you disoriented and off balance from the beginning.

When you first encounter a narcissist, they will go to great lengths to charm and captivate you. They’ll shower you with compliments, affection, and attention, creating an illusion of a deep emotional connection. But beware, this is all part of their puppeteering strategy. By keeping you in constant emotional highs, they gain power over you, making it easier to control your thoughts, decisions, and actions.

Once the narcissist has established this emotional bond, they begin pulling the strings, shifting the dynamics in their favor. They may suddenly withdraw affection, create conflicts, or engage in passive-aggressive behavior, leaving you confused and desperate for their validation and love. This emotional roller coaster is designed to keep you on your toes, constantly seeking their approval and trying to regain the initial euphoria they provided. In doing so, they maintain their dominance and ensure your emotional dependence on them.

Recognizing this emotional puppeteering is vital in breaking free from the narcissist’s hold.

Don’t pay attention to the words…focus on actions.  Do you find yourself going out of your way for this new person while they seem to take it (and you) for granted?  Do you somehow feel of lesser value than them, but can’t quite put your finger on why?  Be extremely cautious when someone you’ve only recently met talks about marriage or engages in any type of future-faking or fast-forwarding.  These are all classic traps of a narcissist.


Learning the warning signs of toxic relationships with narcissists is critical. Empowering yourself to see the warning signs listed above can encourage you to overcome your fear of falling victim again.

Remember, knowledge is the antidote to manipulation. By recognizing the signs and reclaiming your power, you’ll no longer be held hostage to the insidious machinations of a narcissist. Together, let’s unlock the secrets and embark on a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and growth.

Are you ready to break free from the chains of narcissistic manipulation? Stay tuned as we unveil the signs, strategies, and self-care techniques that will help you navigate the treacherous waters of narcissism and emerge stronger than ever before. It’s time to reclaim your sense of self and live a life free from the clutches of the narcissist’s toxic grip.

In my bestselling program, The Break Free Program, I offer a wide range of effective resources and techniques to protect against toxic people.

I’m excited to share with you the psychological tools I and thousands of others have used to heal from narcissistic abuse.

Explore techniques derived from behavioral therapy (vetted by the psychological and neuro-psychological communities) to finally heal your life.

Learn more here!

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Sarah says January 14, 2018

Infj ✅
Sucked dry ✅
Bewildered ✅
Bereft ✅
Very. Very. Sad ✅

Deborah says December 6, 2017

Just noticing comments about women and narcissism – to me it seems the term “narcissism” is neither male or female; gender neutral as most the character traits of narcissism would most likely apply to all genders with the same problem behaviours!

Car says November 2, 2015

My ex will not take no for an answer and continues to email me even though I do not respond. He tormented my life and abused me but emails me to say I should forgive him cause he forfave me for physically assaulting him several times lol.. I defended myself from this sick , abusive manipulator and he makes me an abuser? It amazes me how the narcs can change their language to try to manipulate.. I am deleting my email address as he will never atop sending emails that say “I know I said I wouldn’t contact you but… Or I’ll not going to stalk u but… I can’t look at another manipulation tactic again.. ” forgive him so we can be soulmates again…truly disturbing…

Anonymous says January 6, 2015

I dated a Narcissist for about 3 months…all along my intuition was saying “something’s not right here!” but his charm bought him more time. I started researching online and stumbled on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Didn’t take me more than a day to go No Contact!! Nothing or no one is worth losing your happiness and peace of mind!!!! Kick that Narc to the curb!!! Run and never look back!!!!??whew!!!

navigator1965 says September 18, 2013

Kim (Kimberly?) & GFix,

In my forthcoming book, I am proposing that there is already a feminine form of narcissism in academic literature, but which isn’t recognized for what it is: covert narcissism.

I argue that such an interpretation explains things like Munchausen By Proxy and the differences between male and female bullying.

As for ideological feminists, this required recourse to additional differentiation.

    Kim Raya says September 18, 2013

    I must confess I’ve only recently discovered the wondrous world of Narcissism. Or should I say, I recently discovered there’s a label to put on the crazy train I rode for eight years. As for female narcissism, my only experience is with my Ex’s sister. I was lucky enough to get double the pleasure as his sister is a Narc, too. Only, I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with them until I’d already left the marriage and began my research on why I was so hyper-sensitive and depressed all the time.

    I’ve got tons of research that I hope to turn into a book. Would definitely love to compare notes…you can reach me at letmereach at yahoo dot com.

    P.S. – Discovered tonight that you have a book out. Am definitely interested in learning about your experience with feminism. In fact, I have a lot of learning to do in general. It’s like I’ve been raised from the dead. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, since you were married to a Narcissist. I’m curious, how did he ever agree to counseling? Feel free to replay via email 🙂

GFixation says August 31, 2013

Hey ya, you should do one for women too because as much as you didn’t base the concept on women, I can definitely see where these imply to my boss who is a woman, she is so caught up with herself that she doesn’t have any empathy for others among so many other things. “Life is a stage to them and they perform with perfection” this is soooooo true, yet they always profess that they are not pretending, yet everyone around them knows that they are but play along except me and a few other people. I smell the garbage as soon as the lid is open. If there was a point in time that she was called out on something she did wrong, she would find some clever thing to say to cover it up, life is a joke to her even in death.

    Kim Raya says August 31, 2013

    You are absolutely right…women can definitely be Narcissists, too. I’ve not had a lot of experience being around a female Narc, other than my Ex’s sister (it often runs in families). I’ve read some pretty despicable things about them in the forums I’ve visited, though. In my experience with my ex SIL, she could be even more twisted and conniving than my ex husband ( I didn’t think anyone could trump him). And apparently, there’s a law of the Universe that states they can’t open their mouth unless they intend to lie. I can only say avoid confrontation as much as possible and network with other people in the event you need a reference from your company at any time in the future. Best of luck to you!



      GFixation says August 31, 2013

      That’s definitely something I do re networking with other people because I do I think about the future, however she is the head of the cult so she influences other people, she is also in a management position of this organization, so go figure… I know I’m there to take in the lessons therefore I’m doing just that until…..

        Kim Raya says August 31, 2013

        That’s a good mindset to have. Many new thought leaders believe Narcissists are here to teach us lessons and help us grow spiritually. It sure doesn’t seem that way when you’re in the middle of it, but I can say that I took in my share of lessons, too, and am going through a transformation as a result 🙂 Hang in there!

          GFixation says August 31, 2013

          Oh yes I knew before going there that god had intended something for me and even though we might classify the situation as “bad” the lessons are worth learning.

          Kim Raya says August 31, 2013

          Right on 🙂

rhyscorhys says August 28, 2013

As a narcissist (yes, I freely admit it) I do agree with some of the points you’ve raised, and you should be aware if you’re romantically involved with a member of our organization, so long as you keep in mind that narcissists need love, too (in addition to our tremendous love of ourselves, naturally).

    Kim Raya says August 28, 2013

    Wow…I haven’t encountered a person who freely admits to being a Narcissist. First time for everything.

    Honestly, based on what I’ve discovered so far, Narcissism can generally occur one of two ways. 1) Permissive parenting where the child learns they are the center of everything and never learns to care about other people, 2) Extremely neglectful parenting where the Narcissist learns their behaviors as a self-defense mechanism. May I ask if you know how you became a Narcissist and if so, was it because of reason #2?

      rhyscorhys says August 28, 2013

      I keep forgetting people tend to take me seriously online since I don’t use emoticons (they’re the devil’s spawn) and they haven’t put sartalics into practice yet. Sorry. It’s this poor excuse for a thing I call humor that I can’t seem to turn off.

        Kim Raya says August 28, 2013

        Ha ha. I had an inkling you might have been joking, but I didn’t want to seem insensitive…It really was a bit humorous, “Narcissists need love, too”. (I’m already singing it in my head to the tune of the popular Samantha Fox song of the late 80’s.)

          rhyscorhys says August 28, 2013

          Sorry again for defiling the sanctity of your post (this is why other bloggers never invite me over. I never know how to behave).

          Kim Raya says August 28, 2013

          No worries. Enjoyed the chuckle.

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