Anyone who is trying to leave a narcissist needs to impose very specific tactics in order to break away, heal, and move on towards a better life. How to Do No Contact like a Boss! takes the reader from the initial planning stages, exit strategies, the moment of No Contact, what to expect in the days that follow, and how to deal with a persistent and/or abusive ex who refuses to respect one’s request for No Contact. Also included are transformational healing methods that fill the healing gap that often exists with traditional therapy. If you need guidance on implementing – and maintaining – No Contact, this book is for you!
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“This is an excellent book. I have been NO CONTACT for 5 months. I tried low contact first and that didn’t work. While reading the book I cried, got upset, and even laughed a few times but it was because she was telling the truth about the Narcissist AND Myself. Even though this book focuses on a toxic relationship being with a spouse or love interest the dynamics are pretty much the same when it comes to a being in a relationship with a Narcissist or other types of abusers. The abuser in my life is my parent.” – Janet
“I have been reading and researching about NPD’s for over a year now after realizing I have been surrounded by narcissists all of my life due to emotional abuse since childhood. Nobody really understands what it means to finally come to terms with what really happened in your life! It is hard, so hard … totally incomprehensible…when your heart finally gets that struck and the whole truth comes to life! .. all right there, in front of your eyes ! This book opened a complete new face in my discovery, the fact that now I need to start digging in what started it all….this codependent trait and lack of boundaries that almost destroyed me ! Thank you Kim! … from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU!!!!” – Emma
“If you’re confused about your relationship, if you feel you’re involved with a personality disordered spouse or mate, READ THIS BOOK. If you’re not sure, READ THIS BOOK. I’ve done a lot of research on Narcissistic Personality disorder, Histrionic, Borderline and Co-dependency, and this is the first book I’ve read that has put it all together in a simple and understandable way. I’m close to several Narcissists and a Borderline and I can tell you first hand these people cannot be fixed. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book. It’s a quick read and very, very well written. She knows what she’s talking about. I read it in a few days and plan on reading it again.” – “D”
The Day of No Contact
The day of No Contact can be both exhilarating and intimidating. And no wonder: you’re facing the tremendously exciting prospect of freedom and a better life, but you are also racked with uncertainty and you are dealing with the huge amount of toxic shame and blame that victims have typically been left with by this point.
Your emotions on the day of No Contact may include fear, guilt, and a sense of “letting your partner down”. In the next minute, you may feel euphoric, imagining your life free of oppression and darkness. Which feeling wins? In the spirit of an old Cherokee saying (Two Wolves), “The one you feed”.
The best rule of thumb on the day of No Contact is to keep your focus centered on the positives. If your subconscious mind brings up feelings of pain or fear, say to yourself, “Thank you for caring about me. We can deal with that later. For now, I’m working on our freedom”.
If you think you might be overwhelmed by feelings of fear or guilt, plan a celebration, big or small, with your friends or family. (This approach seems to be a favorite among Extroverts.) Alternatively, if you are Highly Sensitive, Introverted, or have a tendency to become overwhelmed by too much activity in your external environment, you may prefer to have a quieter occasion, such as taking yourself to the movies or spending an evening alone with your children.
Whichever route you choose, remind yourself that you are effectively saying “No” to being abused, disrespected, exploited, manipulated, and taken advantage of. You are doing something for yourself that is more beneficial than anything your abusive partner can do for you.